The Grace of Family
by MegDillon
Summary: The family reunites in the mid-1890s for Victoria's funeral. One member carries a dark secret and the younger generation struggles to find a place in the family. Yes, major character death, also corporal punishment/violence against children. No, I do not own the basic story or half the grown ups (and one was created by Eire Rose) and I make no money from this whatsoever.
1. Chapter 1

On a typically damp and foggy San Francisco morning, Vicky and Ellie were coming down the front stairs, ready to leave for school, and chatting in the breathless, rapid-fire, amiable way that teenage girls talk. This was one of Jarrod's favorite moments of his morning routine and normally he would have stopped to savor the happy tones of his daughters, all vibrant youth and beauty. On this morning, he didn't notice. He stood stock-still in the foyer, a newly delivered telegram in his hand.

The girls stopped suddenly, a few steps from the landing, when they saw him for they were as attuned to his presence as he was to theirs. Half a moment later, their mother entered through the parlor with their younger brother and she too stopped when she saw him.

"Jarrod, what is it? Jane asked.

He turned to look at her, shock and grief in his eyes.

"Mother is dead, " he said.

~BBB~

The Barkley matriarch had remained at the center of the ranch, her mind and wit as sharp as ever but her body had slowed down a lot. She took long naps some days but her biggest challenge was the painful arthritis in her knees, her hips, and back which made the simplest movement excruciating on the best days and horse backing out of the question. For this reason, Nick and Emily had created a bedroom suite for her on the main floor.

She continued to preside at the head of the table for all meals when she was present. Years before, she had tried to relinquish her seat to Nick's wife but Emily had staunchly declined. Both in deference to the only mother she'd ever known and having never fully overcome her natural shyness, Emily preferred having Victoria be the acknowledged lady of the house.

Victoria, however, had always been careful to include Emily in discussions and decisions regarding the running of the house and, as the years passed, Emily had easily assumed most responsibilities.

Emily's only bone of contention with her mother-in-law – and it was a small bone – was in the rearing of the children and even then Victoria had been unobtrusive and mostly silent: quietly supportive, occasionally over-indulgent, but never defiant or openly critical of Nick and Emily's parenting.

But Victoria reigned supreme at the table. Emily had willingly and knowingly acknowledged this power. It had always been so for Nick and the children understood it to be law.

In the nursery and regarding schoolwork, Emily directed the children's lives. Anywhere else on the ranch, Nick carried undisputed power over his children. It was this power that gave him the strongest veto in the house, regarding school, and even at the table.

On this morning, like most weekday mornings, Emily corralled Caroline, Daniel, and Julia to the breakfast table. Not yet five, Julia needed frequent redirection but was generally agreeable. Daniel, nine, was a quiet, easy-going soul who only needed encouragement. More often than not, Caroline, at 14, required a taskmaster. Inclined to daydream, she was preoccupied with thoughts about boys and pretty dresses.

Perhaps more serious than Audra at the same age and much less obsessed with horses, Caroline – or Carrie as she was called – resembled her aunt in other ways. She had the same blond hair and clear blue eyes and the same dimples, those she got from her father. From her mother, she inherited curls and shyness.

Direct from morning chores, Nick walked into the dining room with Tom, 17, and Will, 16, right behind him. With long strides, he went directly to Emily and kissed her on the cheek, as she helped Julia onto the cushions on her chair. Tom and Will also offered their mother a kiss good morning.

"Daniel, would you please go see if Grandma will be joining us this morning?" Emily asked. Sometimes, Grandma slept in, especially if she'd had a fitful night.

Daniel climbed out his chair and scampered out of the room with all the energy of a nine-year-old boy, fully awake and facing a brand new day.

Nick helped Emily into her chair just to Victoria's right and took the seat at the head of the table, opposite his mother's and sat down just in time to see Will reach into a basket of steaming biscuits.

"Will!" Nick barked. That's all it took and Will quickly withdrew his arm.

Emily was proud of how her older boys were turning out. Tom, tall and gangly now, had always resembled his father in looks and temperament. He was loyal and honest and hard working but quick to angry outbursts and had gotten into a few more fights than Emily was confortable with. Will was more cerebral and much more discreet than his brother with what he revealed to others. His hair was a bit lighter in color and had a soft wave to it. And, except for a rebellious streak Emily couldn't quite define, he reminded her a little of Heath. This was fitting as he had been christened William Heath. She couldn't help but compare the brothers with their father and uncle. They shared the same easy banter and mutual reliance.

So far, she thought, she and Nick had done well as parents but she was not entirely at peace with Nick's parenting and knew she would need to stay vigilant as the younger ones grew up.

Looking over at Tom now, she remembered sitting on a picnic blanket and standing him on his chubby legs, launching him forward as he toddled over to his father's outstretched arms and encouraging words. She was already heavy with Will and was worrying for the future so deliberately chose that moment to ask Nick if he could ever take a switch or belt to his son. Surely, she thought, he would not consider such a thing now.

"If he needs it, you bet!" Nick replied, still smiling at his happy boy.

Emily's heart sank. She didn't believe in physical punishment. Her father had never struck her or any of her five brothers. Instead, he had used reason, banishment to a corner, bed without dinner, or extra chores. Or any combination thereof. Never beating.

She knew Nick often spoke before thinking so she broached the topic every now and again and hoped to persuade him in a quiet moment, but Nick remained steadfast.

She asked when the boys were both walking and talking and fighting and had a baby sister and chaos ruled the day. Nick simply said he would leave the disciplining of girls to her but, yes, he would take a switch to the boys' backsides if he thought it was warranted.

When the first big infraction happened – skipping after school chores as well as not telling anyone where they were – Emily had pleaded with Nick to send them to bed, give them extra chores, anything. They stood alone in the library and Nick listened thoughtfully, looking down at the rug and then up into Emily's eyes but said little in response. Then, without saying a word or changing the reflective expression of his face, he stepped back into the foyer and commanded the boys, seven and eight years old at the time, to follow him outside.

Emily was furious. And scared. Victoria had watched this family drama in silence and entered the library, put her arm around Emily's waist and sat her down on the sofa.

"They're his children, too," Victoria said, "and this is what Nick knows from his own boyhood." Emily then burst into tears while Victoria held and rocked her and assured her. "They'll be all right," Victoria said.

To Emily's mind, though, they were not all right. That evening, she watched as her boys' tear streaked faces winced in pain as they sat down to dinner. She didn't speak to Nick for days.

A few nights later, Nick came to sit next to her, stretched his legs out in front of him, and looked into his whisky glass.

"I think they learned their lesson," he said, and paused, then continued, "but I hated it."

"And?" Emily asked coolly.

"And, well, maybe there are other ways to knock some respect into them."

Emily thought they were respectful enough for their ages and that respect, even for parents, had to be earned, but knew an argument over the finer points of child development with Nick would be exhausting and likely futile and directed the discussion to alternative methods of discipline. And Nick did make the effort. He even admitted to her once, privately, that he found non-physical punishment to be effective. But, he had to add, not as effective as a good wallop with a switch.

There had been only one other instance of serious corporal punishment when, at ages 12 and 13, the boys decided to get drunk. Emily had been so upset about it, she had to admit she didn't care that Nick had taken his belt to both of them.

Daniel had been spanked once a few years back. He openly defied and talked back to his mother and, in an instant, Nick had laid him over his knee and swatted the boy's behind. Emily wasn't entirely comfortable with that either, but it was better than a switch or a belt and Daniel's behavior improved immediately.

Daniel, who had scurried out of the room moments ago with such energy, now returned, walking as if in a dream. "Momma?" he said, looking at her, eyes wide, "Grandma won't wake up."

Nick and Emily instantly locked eyes and stood up simultaneously. Nick turned to his teenage sons and said, "Stay put and take care of your brother and sister!" He then bolted from the room. Emily followed swiftly, Carrie several steps behind her.


	2. Chapter 2

Mercifully, Victoria had died in her sleep some hours before in the night. Her eyes were closed and her body still warm but she was clearly gone.

Nick and Emily stared at each other in stunned disbelief. There had been no sign, no illness, no indication she was going to die. And now there was much to do and neither Nick nor Emily was entirely sure how to proceed.

Victoria had long stated her wish to be buried next to her husband, Tom, on the ranch. He was buried where he was killed many years before and his remains had since been joined by those of the infant sons of Nick and Heath, lying side by side at his feet.

The practice of embalming had advanced since the War Between the States and was becoming common practice but in her more reflective moments, Victoria had said she didn't see the need for it if she were to be buried on the ranch.

A coffin, however, would need to be procured. And there were people to notify.

Emily added Dr. Wold to the list of people to notify. They should be certain she was, in fact, dead and make it official. Also, she realized, she had no mourning clothes. Heath's wife, Sarah, she knew, would also need a black dress, so she instructed Nick to stop at Schaeffer's store and have Betty choose two dresses. Black ribbon for arm bands, too. The undertaker would have mourning cards and stationary on which to write invitations and letters. She wrote all of this down and Nick put the note in his breast pocket.

Tom was directed to ride to Heath and Sarah's home and notify them immediately. It was about a half hour's ride from the main house. Caroline and Will were instructed to stop the clocks and cover the mirrors - traditions born of superstition no Barkley believed but they were proper gestures of mourning – and to mind Daniel and Julia. And, no, there would be no school today.

Emily returned to Victoria's room to prepare her body for burial. The first time she had cared for a dead body was with Sarah's mother, Ruth, and it was, in fact, Victoria who showed her how. She proceeded without tears, just a dumb shock, and got done what needed to get done. When she was finished and needed to dress her mother-in-law for burial, she realized that Victoria had never told how she wished to be attired for her eternal rest.

Emily opened the doors to the wardrobe and stared at the choices. Suddenly, it struck her what Victoria would say to her in this moment: "Oh, for Heaven's sake, what difference does it make?"

Emily smiled and shook her head at her mother-in-law's wonderful practicality and wry sense of humor. And then she cried.

Emily dressed Victoria in a royal blue satin dress – Victoria always loved the vivid colors best. She snipped some hair for memorial and combed it neatly and laid her body atop the bed clothes with her hands folded across her ribcage.

Word of Victoria's death spread quickly through town not long after Nick arrived. The Stockton paper had wired the papers in San Francisco and Sacramento. As he walked from doctor's office to telegraph office to shop to undertaker's, he was stopped by people offering condolences and a few deliveries of telegraphs offering the same. It was at the undertakers that Nick received the telegraph from Jarrod stating the San Francisco Barkleys would be arriving that evening on the 6:30 train.

Heath and Sarah arrived mid-morning with their daughters, Leah and Grace. The two families were close, emotionally joined by the bond between brothers as well as the mutual friendship between the brothers' wives. The cousins, however, were polite and friendly but their parents wished there was a little more common ground between them.

Caroline and Leah were mere months apart in age but while Caroline wanted to talk about boys and dresses, Leah was more inclined to find a quiet corner and read a book. At 12, Grace was too young to be an interesting companion to Caroline and too old to be interested in spending time with Daniel or Julia. What Grace really wanted to do was ride horses and herd cattle with Tom and Will but they rarely noticed her.

To compound her sense of isolation, Grace was born with bad right leg and she walked with a pronounced limp. Perhaps because of her leg, Grace was never hesitant to stand up for the underdog and even at 12 she was still a tow head. Her father claimed she had the blondest hair in the entire valley.

Heath had walked quickly through the house and stopped only to offer Emily a kiss on the cheek and to hear her tell him that Nick was in town sending telegraphs and fetching the doctor.

He pulled a chair up to Victoria's bedside and stared at Victoria's still body, then he bowed his head. He wanted to cry. He tried to cry. And he was angry with himself for not crying at the passing of this great woman who had loved and accepted him without question or condition. Or, more to the point, she had loved and accepted him despite questions and conditions, some of them very painful to her.

Heath knew that whatever love and respect others may have had for the woman, and it was a lot, no one loved or respected her more than he did. He would challenge anyone who said otherwise. He found solace in knowing he had conveyed those feelings to her many times in his own way.

When Nick returned home, he found Dr. Wold leaving. The man looked crest fallen, and, shaking his head, he offered his condolences. Sarah was in the parlor, having seen the doctor out. Daniel and Julia were with her, Leah and Grace were setting the table for lunch, and Emily and Caroline were upstairs gathering and preparing appropriate mourning clothes for each member of the family.

Bertie and Florence, sisters who cooked and kept house since Silas's death years before, were preparing lunch. Florence came to the parlor and, not seeing Emily, asked Nick how many people were expected for lunch. Before Nick could answer, Sarah said, "Nine. And please make sure to set up the extra table for the children, Florence. Thank you." Sarah hated talking to servants. It made her uncomfortable to have other people doing things for her.

"Yes, Ma'am," said Florence. She was going to miss Mrs. Barkley but she was also sad for the lady's family. Mrs. Nick had always looked up to her and now she was going to have to run this big house by herself. Florence and Bertie agreed between them they would do whatever they could to help her. Mr. Barkley and Mrs. Nick were kind and thoughtful folks, like his mother was. On this morning, Florence and Bertie were taking turns crying in the kitchen.

Nick smiled weakly at Sarah and, running his fingers through his thick, black hair, gray at the temples, he said, "Thanks."

Sarah nodded towards Victoria's room, silently answering the question he hadn't asked out loud. He handed her a stack of wrapped packages he had carried in.

"What's this?" Sarah asked.

"Oh, ah, dresses, "he answered as he was walking towards his mother's room.

There, he sat in silent reverence at his mother's deathbed, next to his brother, Heath.


	3. Chapter 3

As often as not, when Victoria was not present for meals, Emily would assume her seat at the head of the table, opposite Nick. At this meal, however, she hesitated.

"Perhaps Heath would like to sit there?" she offered.

"No, Em, " Heath said, understanding the significance of the moment, "that's your chair now."

Emily looked to Nick and so did every child in the room.

Nick looked at her and gave her a firm nod, his voice both sad and proud, "Heath is absolutely right," he said. Heath helped seat her at the head of the table.

The atmosphere was glum, even the normal chatter from Daniel and Julia at the children's table seemed subdued. Nick shared that the coffin he ordered would be finished and delivered tomorrow. He said Jarrod and his family would be arriving on the 6:30 train and he had not yet heard from Audra.

Emily and Sarah discussed plans to ready the guesthouse that afternoon for Jarrod and his family. It was a small but nicely appointed house just outside and to the right of the main gate. It was added to the property in 1880 to accommodate the growing number of Barkleys who came to visit.

The gloom at the table was abruptly interrupted by an ear-piercing screech from Julia who was expressing her displeasure at her nine-year-old brother who was touching her leg under the table with his.

Emily looked over to see if the momentary crisis would resolve on its own. Nick stood up suddenly and frowned at the kids, which stopped the issue immediately. Heath, however, got up from his chair and walked quietly over to the children's table and lifted Julia from her chair, carried her back to his, and sat her on his lap as he picked at the food on his plate and enticed her to partake of the same.

"Brothers sure can be a nuisance sometimes, huh, Julia?" he said quietly. The small girl nodded her head, her honey blond curls in two braids down her back with white ribbon bows marking their ends at her waist.

"Do you know what's happened, Julia?" Heath asked.

"Grandma died," she replied in a voice that was barely audible.

"Carrie and I explained it to her and Daniel," said Will.

"Julia, do you know what that means?" Nick asked softly. Julia didn't answer.

"It means that Grandma went to sleep and she isn't going to wake up," Emily said.

"And we're going to miss her a lot," Sarah said.

"Because she was such a good lady and we loved her so much," Emily added.

"Here, here!" Nick remarked, and raised his glass in honor of his mother. Everyone joined the toast and raised their wine, water, and milk glasses. Smiles appeared on some of the faces.

"During thunderstorms," Carrie announced quietly, "Grandma would come to bed with me and hold me till I fell asleep." Nick and Emily exchanged a smiling glance; this was a story they did not know.

Leah talked about the times Grandma came to the house and helped her bake cookies, just the two of them. She also remembered Grandma helping her learn to read.

"I remember her teaching me to ride," Grace said. What Grace didn't share but always treasured was that Grandma never ignored her leg like everyone else did. Grandma said Grace's leg was a gift, "Just you wait and see," she told her.

"I remember Grandma showing me how to aim my toy gun," said Tom, and this made the grown ups laugh.

"I'm pretty certain that Grandma arranged for me and your mother to be alone together when we first met, because I wasn't very interested at first, "Nick said. Nick and Emily had often reviewed their first few encounters alone and believed Victoria had secretly put them together. Emily never asked Victoria to confirm the suspicion but Nick had. Victoria denied it.

"Boy howdy, what a sly fox!" Heath said, shaking his head. He'd heard the story before and he believed it to be true. "One time," he said, "she and some escaped convict dug me out of a mud pit when I was pinned there under a carriage." This elicited oohs and aahs from the boys.

"Heath, remember that time she helped those robbers try and blow up that bank safe with dynamite?" Nick asked, laughing.

"She did what?!" Was the general, laughing, response from that table.

And so it went: Sons and daughters-in-law and their children sharing stories about a remarkable woman who had loved and helped them all.

The conversation at lunch lifted everyone's spirits a little bit and afterwards Emily and Julia took a short nap together in Nick and Emily's bed. Sarah sat with her mother-in-law while Leah and Carrie looked after Daniel. This basically meant they bossed him around while he fumed with silent contempt. Grace went out to the stable to help Tom and Will work on saddles, while Nick and Heath stood nearby, trying to find comforting words to say to each other.

No one was prepared when the new and self-important Pastor Nelson came to the door.

Sarah welcomed him into the parlor and Bertie served coffee. Daniel was relieved by the request to fetch his father and Uncle Heath, for this freed him from the clutches of those bossy girls.

Nick turned to Heath as they walked towards the house. "What the devil do you think he wants?" Nick asked.

"I expect he heard about Mother and came to discuss funeral arrangements," Heath answered, matter-of-factly.

Nick stopped in his tracks. "Oh crap!"

Heath stopped, too. He looked at Nick and said, "I don't suppose you thought to plan a funeral service."

"Musta slipped my mind," Nick grumbled as he made his way to the house.

"Boy howdy, Nick!" Heath said, deadpan, "Between running the ranch, riding herd on all those kids, Mother dying unexpected, buying a coffin, and sending telegrams, I am shocked and disappointed by your oversight."

Emily had joined Sarah in the parlor, now dressed in black, and was chatting with the minister. "Nick," she said, "Sarah and I were thinking the funeral could be in two days, on Friday. That should give people enough notice to attend."

"Sounds good," Nick said.

"You know, Reverend," Emily said, "since Victoria was so involved with the orphanage, I really think we should invite the Padre to the service." A judge's daughter and graduate of Corbett's Young Women's Seminary in Cincinnati, Emily was adept at presenting herself prim and proper.

Sarah, pouring the coffee, added with equal poise, "I think that is a lovely gesture, Emily! Perhaps we could ask him to say a prayer."

"Oh, Sarah, what a beautiful idea! I think Victoria would be honored by such a prayer, " said Emily.

If Pastor Nelson had misgivings about inviting a Roman Catholic priest to assist at the funeral he was going to conduct for the great lady of Stockton, he found himself helpless to protest against these women, her protégées and successors.

Between them, Emily and Sarah planned the details of the service, the Scripture readings, the hymns, even a rough guest list, while Nick and Heath sat nearby, entertained as they watched their now demure wives ride roughshod over the ambitious preacher.

Once the minister was gone, Nick quickly apologized for not thinking of organizing a service.

"To tell you the truth," said Emily, "it hadn't crossed my mind, either."

"Nor mine," said Sarah.

"Nor mine," said Heath. But he was lying.


	4. Chapter 4

Charles Lorton did not need to be at his Seattle office until later in the morning, so he decided he would enjoy a leisurely breakfast in his stately mansion on the city's Capitol Hill. Maybe catch up on the news.

Audra always felt some unease when Charles stayed home. She knew he bored easily and if the timber business took a dip he could be quite cross with everyone around him. She had a saying she said in her head and never out loud: If business suffers, we all suffer.

Audra had no one she could say that to; there was no one in her life with whom she could share anything but the most superficial pleasantries. This was a result of Charles hating every woman Audra tried to befriend. She had hoped to find a friend he would approve of but then she just gave up.

Yet the Lortons' social calendar was usually full and they spent little time alone together. Charles worked long hours and was often away. Audra kept busy with running the house and serving on charity committees. Their 15 year old son, Charles, Jr., had been away at boarding school back East for the past several years and Audra still missed him.

When the telegram arrived, Charles naturally assumed it was for him so he received it and read it. Walking past Audra on his way to his chair at the grand table facing the bay window, he dropped the telegram on the table in front of her without saying a word, and sat down to resume reading the newspaper.

Tears welled up in her eyes when she read it but she did not cry. She looked across the table at her husband ignoring her.

"Charles," she said, "My mother died." She didn't know why she said that. He read the telegram; he knew what it said.

"Charles," she said when she got no response, "we need to go to California."

"Audra, you know that is out of the question," he said, still looking at the paper. "I have too much important business here."

Charles had always directed her life. At first, it was nice to have someone take care of all the details but slowly, over time, she learned not to question or challenge his decisions. This time, however, she felt a heat stir deep inside her as if igniting a spark of a former self.

She rose from her seat and announced, "Charles, I am going to California."

Charles, paper still propped in front of him, looked at her and said, "Audra! I said no! No one's going to California!" He had a very deep voice that boomed when he spoke loudly. Rather like a lion's roar, Audra used to think.

Suddenly, very suddenly, he softened and pointed out to her that it would be a two day journey from Seattle, at best, so even if she left right away she would likely miss the funeral anyway.

"If I wire them with my arrival and ask, I'm sure they would delay the service till I can be there," she tried to reason back to him.

"And the party this Saturday for Mayor Phelps?" he countered, the edge creeping back into his voice. "You know how important it is for us to be there."

Audra drew up every shred of strength she could find within her, looked at Charles and coolly explained, "I am certain that Mayor Phelps and his wife will understand." And with that she started towards the stairs.

With lightning speed he was on her. He grabbed her tightly by the arm, swung her around, and pushed her against a door frame with such force the crystals on the sconces chimed and a large and heavy, framed photo fell off the wall and crashed to the floor. He kept her pinned there, holding her arms above her head and put his angry red face into hers.

"You're not going anywhere, do you hear me?"

Other times, this had frightened her so but now, well, now she just needed to go home.

"Charles," she said calmly, "Everyone will know my mother has died and it will look bad if I don't go." It was a spontaneous and inspired manipulation and she forgot she had it in her.

It worked. He released her.

There was nothing more said between them as she walked up the stairs to pack.

He was gone by the time she was packed and ready to go. Charles was always generous with cash; It made him look good to others that his wife could spend freely. But Audra had been tucking away the cash for emergencies and this was one. She wasn't entirely certain she knew how to get to the train station and find her way to California, but she was a Barkley and she was determined.


	5. Chapter 5

By late afternoon, the younger children were over-tired and the girls were bored. Grace would have liked nothing more than to join Tom and Will with their afternoon chores out in the barn but instead made herself useful by keeping a cranky Daniel and Julia occupied and gave them a snack since dinner would be later than usual.

There had been deliveries of telegrams, scores of telegrams, throughout the day, including one from Audra stating she hoped to be in Stockton by dinner the following day. Her telegram did not mention Charles. Flowers arrangements also started arriving throughout the day, one from California Governor Budd, others from ranching neighbors.

Sarah and Emily added all the leaves to the dining room table so that it could now comfortably seat twelve.

"Six adults and ten children!" Emily said to Sarah, "Where do we usually put everyone at Christmas? How are we going to do this?"

Sarah laughed and counted on her fingers, frowned, and recounted. "How about the six adults – seven tomorrow – sit at the table with Vicky, Ellie, and James, and everyone else can shift for themselves?"

"Brilliant!" said Emily. "I rather suspect some of the older kids won't be disappointed to be banished away from us."

~~BBB~~

Audra didn't start to relax until the train was south of Olympia. She felt both bone weary and excited at the prospect of seeing her family and the valley she loved so much.

The last time she'd seen her family, she and Charles and Charles, Jr., along with his nanny, had spent two too short days at the ranch on their way to Denver and then on to New York City. And that was - Audra stopped to count - ten years ago. And so many children! She smiled as she remembered. Nick's boys were six and seven, Jarrod's first girl was five, the same age as Charles, Jr., and each of her brothers had daughters in one year, fours years old at the time of her visit. Grace was two and just learning to walk with that leg. Jarrod's son, James, was an infant, and Emily was expecting again. What fun they'd all had! It had been chaotic and noisy and even the grown ups were playful and laughing. Charles, too. And then, too soon, it was time to go. If she had known she wouldn't see them again till now . . .

There had been a lot of travel in the early years of her marriage. There was still travel but it wasn't as frenetic as before as she and Charles were now firmly based in Seattle.

Seattle. Charles. The thought of both dampened her happy memories and she knew she would need to return to them and it made her feel . . . heavy. Audra's sense of dread had become so much a part of her being she could no longer name or recognize it. She sighed. First, though, she would enjoy a visit with her brothers and their families.

~~BBB~~

Heath took the surrey carriage into town to meet Jarrod's train. He was glad to have some time by himself to think and it was a bittersweet reunion when the San Francisco Barkleys arrived at the ranch.

While Jarrod sat at his mother's bedside alone, Jane and her children chatted with Emily and Sarah while Nick and Heath carried their luggage to the guest house.

Jane was the daughter of a prominent San Francisco family. She was tall with perfect posture, green eyes, and glossy brown hair. There was nothing of the spoiled daughter of privilege about her: She was forthright and political but poised and discreet. She might make the perfect politician's wife but for her activism with women's suffrage. There was some talk this made her a political liability for Jarrod but if true he didn't seem to mind. He was, in fact, very proud to have a wife who acted on her beliefs and was something much more than an attractive decoration on his arm.

Sitting down to dinner that night, Nick gave Jarrod, as Pappy, the seat at the head of the table. Emily again hesitated to sit in Victoria's chair but was gently teased by her husband and in-laws who had come to understand her natural reticence and how to encourage her out of it.

Jarrod led the family in prayer in which he gave thanks for the family being together and asked for safe travels for Audra.

As serious and somber the event which brought them together, there was also a wash of warmth in knowing they belonged to each other. Opportunities for everyone to come together at one time were fairly rare anymore and whatever the cause of it this night, there was a sense of celebration alongside the grief. The irrepressible cacophony brought by the ten cousins together did little to seal the room with gloom. And, frankly, this was as Victoria would want it.

Tom and Will sat at the children's table, a normal size table so named only because that's where children ate. And where Tom and Will went, Jarrod's son, James, was never far away. At ten, he was enthralled with his older cowboy cousins. He didn't believe it when his father told him about his own youthful adventures. He simply could not picture his father with a cowboy hat, a gun, and riding herd or busting up a saloon.

But if James looked up to his Stockton cousins, Leah and Carrie were impressed and not a little intimidated by their San Francisco cousins. To these ranchers' daughters, Vicky and Ellie – short for Victoria and Eleanor – were the epitome of style and sophistication and they noted every detail of dress and inflection of voice.

Emily understood but it was almost beyond Nick's comprehension that the aftermath of the occasional visit from Jarrod's daughters always included a request for a new dress and hat from his own.

After dinner, Jarrod, Nick, and Heath sat alone together on the veranda while the children took over the billiards room – with strict instructions to keep it quiet: no laughing, no running.

Jane, Emily, and Sarah planned for the coming day: getting the guest room ready, preparing food for guests, and rearranging furniture in the parlor to accommodate the coffin being delivered the following morning.


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning, Jarrod rode into town to confirm the details of his mother's funeral service with Pastor Nelson. He also visited the newspaper to place the obituary, noting the funeral would be private, and telegraphed the details to those who were invited, a list initially compiled by Emily and Sarah and completed by the brothers over several whiskeys the previous night.

He also collected the latest arrival of telegrams, a collection that seemed to be growing exponentially. There were telegrams from each of California's US Senators and San Francisco Mayor Sutro, a political associate of Jarrod's. There was also a telegram of condolence from Hester Converse McNaughton Stewart Du Bois Linfield of Chicago and this brought an amused smile to Jarrod.

Nick and Heath rode to their father's grave and together the two dug their mother's alongside his. Not a word was spoken between them.

A fine coffin arrived at the house, carried by hearse. The undertaker generously offered to leave the hearse there to carry Victoria Barkley to her final resting place. It was an offer he never made before but one he wanted to make to this family.

Tom and Will were instructed to stick close to the house in case they were needed and indeed they were. After the women lifted their mother-in-law into her coffin, the young men helped to carry her into the parlor. They rested the coffin on a table that had been placed at the end of the room nearest the staircase. All other furniture had been moved to the periphery of the room. The lid had been closed only to make the carrying easier, it was lifted open once the coffin was positioned on the table and the women surrounded the woman's pale face with fresh flowers.

Nick gave Daniel some stable chores to keep him out from underfoot in the house and James was only too pleased when his father directed him to help. The boys were given explicit instructions, more for James' benefit than Daniel's since he already knew to stay out of the forge, away from the mustangs, and to not interfere with anything the hands were doing.

Daniel was not too pleased to have James tagging along. Privately, he told his mother he thought James was a "sissy boy," a term she was pretty sure he got from his older brothers.

"I think you mean 'city boy,' right?" Emily said as she knelt in front of her son, adjusting his shirt tenderly. "This is your chance to teach him how to be a rancher."

Bertie and Florence helped the women prepare the guest room for Audra, and Charles if he was coming. Contingency plans were made should others need overnight accommodations. Julia still slept in the nursery, a small room created years ago next to Nick and Emily's. Will, and even Daniel, could sleep in Tom's room and that would free up two rooms. There was a small guest room Grace and Leah could use, or they could sleep with Carrie. It was unofficially Grace's room anyway since she occasionally spent the night. She always liked the big house: She liked being surrounded by the commotion and activity the house contained.

Jarrod returned from town for lunch with a satchel bag filled with telegrams. The hearse parked in front of the house and Victoria's body in a coffin in the parlor reminded everyone why they were sad. The front door was left open so delivery people could simply enter and not disturb the family. Thus, the parlor seemed to magically fill with funereal floral arrangements. Lunch was a somber affair and Julia gave no protest to going upstairs for her nap afterwards.

Following the meal, Jarrod, Nick, and Heath went riding together and stopped at one of their mother's favorite picnic spots where they smoked cigars and shared a flask in her honor.

Bertie and Florence started the food and drink preparations for tomorrow's guests. The sisters-in-law went upstairs to finish readying the guestroom.

The girls had overcome their initial shyness with each other and, with permission from their mothers, removed themselves to the guesthouse for a tea party. There, they discussed school and hobbies and boys and parties. Grace pretended to be interested but excused herself and walked back to the main house where she was put to work cutting black ribbon for armbands.

The boys returned to the stable to continue their chores. Most of the hands were off gathering the herd for the upcoming branding. Tom and Will were tasked with making fence posts or they would have joined them.

James had been some help to Daniel with his morning chores but he asked an awful lot of questions. In the afternoon, Tom & Will put the boys to work cleaning and re-bedding horse stalls, a task James did not find fulfilling or glamorous, so he began to wander away from Daniel to other parts of the barn and stables and to pester Tom and Will with questions about roundup and branding and other aspects of cowboy life.

"Boy! Get outta there now!" Artie was the blacksmith and he had left his post for no more than two minutes when he returned to find James pulling something out of the fire, his sleeve just starting to smolder.

Tom and Will, just outside and around the corner, heard the large man's voice and knew instantly that James had just crossed a line.

Tom entered the smithy first and grabbed the startled ten year old by the ear and walked him outside and over to the house, walking so fast James was tripping over his own feet trying to keep up.

He dragged his young cousin through the front door, into the foyer and, forgetting the body of his grandmother lying nearby, shouted, "Mother!"

Jane and Emily and Sarah all rushed out to the upstairs bannister, three ladies in black, to see a furious Tom, a terrified James, followed by Will and Daniel, standing in a group at the the foot of the stairs.

"He was messing around in the forge after he was told to stay out," Tom said.

Emily looked at her son, scowling at him for shouting in the presence of his dead grandmother.

Jane looked at her son, worrying he might be hurt.

Sarah looked at her nephews and silently thanked God for giving her girls. It wasn't her first such prayer.

By the time the women got downstairs, their husbands had already returned to the stable and, hearing from Artie what had just happened, were walking quickly to the house.

James' sleeve was burned but the skin underneath was untouched.

"James," Will said gently but emphatically, "You could have been badly burned. You could have also burned down the barn."

Jarrod approached his young son and said, "Let's go to the library where you can explain to me why you found it necessary to defy specific instructions." He placed his hand on the boy's head and steered him to the library.

Nick and Heath went back out to the barn with Nick's boys. Daniel walked right behind his father, doing his best to keep up. Once in the barn, Daniel showed him the work he did on re-bedding the horse stalls.

"Uh-huh," said Nick, distracted, "Good job." Daniel was hurt; he had hoped for more.

Daniel had been born early after a miscarriage and another, even earlier son who lived less than a day. He was a quiet, sensitive boy who rarely balked at chores, partly because he had no siblings close in age with whom he could ally and partly because he seemed to live in his head. From his earliest childhood, Daniel was interested and uncommonly adept at taking things – any things – apart and putting them back together. Nick and Emily thought he might grow up to be an engineer and maybe not a rancher. Nick didn't entirely relate to the boy but he had a soft spot in his heart for him. Emily wished Nick would spend more time alone with him.

James sat quiet in the library, looking guilty as charged, while his father stood before him reciting every detail of what he had done wrong: Defied a specific instruction, played wth fire unattended, put himself at risk, put others at risk, put property at risk. He hadn't thought about those things, he simply wanted to know what tools were in the fire. His punishment was to sit alone in the library until dinner and then apologize, publicly, to his mother and father, to Uncle Nick and Aunt Emily, to Uncle Heath and Aunt Sarah, and to Tom and Will and Daniel.

Jarrod left the library and found he was alone, though he could hear the low voices of his wife and sisters-in-law from the kitchen. He had not had a chance to see his mother in her coffin so he took a moment to look and reflect. So lost in thought was he that he hadn't noticed Julia come downstairs from her nap till she was standing next to him, peering on tiptoe to see her grandmother. He leaned down and picked her up and they looked at mother and grandmother together.

"Grandma was a good lady," Jarrod said softly. And Julia leaned over and gently patted the dead woman's cheek with her small hand.

"Good night, Gramma," Julia said. Jarrod gave his small niece a kiss on the cheek and then carried her into the kitchen where they sat at the small table while the women finished dinner preparations around them.

The tea party had ended and the girls drifted over to the barn to see the animals, especially the horses. Grace was already there, in the hay loft, helping with the evening feed, while the men brought the horses in to their freshly bedded stalls and Daniel fed the chickens.


	7. Chapter 7

Audra's heart pounded with happy excitement when she awoke to daylight and realized the train was descending down the southern slope of the Siskiyou Mountains. Soon, it would enter the northern-most reaches of California's big valley: Her big valley. The force of her excitement surprised her.

She'd had to change trains at Portland's Union Station and was relieved to be able to board an overnight train bound for southern California with several stops along the way, one of them Sacramento. She had made the short train ride between Sacramento and Stockton many times as a young woman so had no anxiety about making the last leg of her journey.

As the sight of Spanish oaks and the soft, rolling hills surrounding the town of Red Bluff came into view, memories flooded her mind and soul and, for the first time in a long time, she let them.

When she returned from what was her first trip to Europe, she thought she was ready to get married. She and Carl Wheeler were engaged within a month of her return but soon she was having doubts about marriage to Carl and about life on a ranch when she met Charles.

Carl was a wonderful man, a friend of her brother's, but he was a local man with local visions and dreams. Charles, well, Charles was older, and so commanding, like her father had been. He was adoring and attentive, and he was also very wealthy with diverse business interests all over the world. Life with Charles, she thought at the time, would be exciting and glamorous and full of adventure.

She wasn't wrong about that, really. Looking back, however, she cringed at how Charles' attentiveness had turned into something she found relentless and confining. Obsession was not a word that came to her mind easily but it seemed the best choice.

She wondered how differently her life might have turned out had she put aside her desire for glamour and excitement and settled down to ranching with Carl. Would she have been happier than she was now? She wondered if she was happy enough now.

~~BBB~~

James made a sincere and formal apology to each adult and to each of his male cousins before the family said grace and ate dinner.

Will sat to Jarrod's right and asked a number of thoughtful questions about water rights and land use laws. This interest in law had persisted for a couple of years but always as it related directly to the ranch and not to abstract or general legal matters. Jarrod wondered if this second son of Nick's might follow his own path and choose not to remain on the ranch.

Emily wanted Will to pursue whatever interests he had and she harbored the strong suspicion that his interests were intellectual and not cattle, horses, and crops. Seeing him talk with Jarrod, she hoped Jarrod would inspire and encourage Will. And Nick's plans for the future of the ranch would simply have to be altered, just as his own father's plans had been.

At the children's table, Ellie and Leah talked about literature and poetry, particularly the work of Emily Dickinson. Vicky and Carrie also found some common interests in music and fashion and trying to understand men. And themselves.

Jane caught Emily's eye and nodded towards the girls, pleased the cousins seemed to be bonding better than during previous visits. Emily also noted Grace who sat, not with the other girls, but at the adult table talking about horses with Tom and Nick. Poor Grace, born a little too late to be a full-fledged member of the "girls' club," was always the third or fifth wheel, depending on how many cousins were present. It didn't seem to bother her much, though. She was one of those people who seemed quite comfortable with herself. It wasn't that she was haughty or snobbish in any way. It wasn't even that she was independent from other people so much as she was independent from what others thought she should be. It was a quality that made her proud father love her that much more.

~~BBB~~

Audra's train was delayed in Corning for a few hours but she wasn't concerned. She was closer to home now than she had been in years and she would get there. She had a bite to eat at a restaurant and sent a wire to her family saying she really didn't know what time she would get in.

Later, in Sacramento, she had to wait a few more hours for the train to Stockton. Stockton!


	8. Chapter 8

Dinner lasted a long time that night, as though the people present wished for time to freeze in order to stave off tomorrow's funeral for mother, mother-in-law, and grandmother. This would be Victoria's last night in the great house. Forever.

When the meal was finally completed, her sons sat together, just the three of them, in the parlor where the coffin lay and said very little, each brother lost in thought and prayer, each brother needing to be with the other two.

Sarah, Leah, and Ellie were in the library, reading. Jane and the other children played cards and checkers in the billiards room.

Emily has just started down the stairs after putting Julia to bed when James and Daniel came rushing out into the foyer, shouting, "Someone's coming! Someone's coming!" followed closely by Jane trying to subdue their exuberance.

Jarrod stood and said wearily, "I hope it's not more telegrams."

"Or flowers," added Heath. Indeed, the parlor had taken on the appearance of a hot house in full bloom. The three headed for the front door together.

Nick was the first to step outside and onto the front porch as Will and Nancy Marvin pulled up in their surrey. Will jumped down from the carriage and walked around from the far side to the back seat nearest the house. A naturally good - humored man, he fought his urge to sound enthusiastic in light of Victoria's recent death.

"Nancy and I were seeing her sister off to Oakland, when who do you think we bumped into at the station?" Will said as he helped Audra down from the carriage.

"Audra!" Nick cried. He rushed to embrace her and was immediately pressed upon by his brothers, both wanting to hug her at the same time as Nick.

"I like the beard, Jarrod," Audra teased. She was trying to keep things light-hearted in an attempt to appear calm and to conceal from herself how profoundly she had missed them all.

Will had unloaded a couple of trunks and several bags onto the front step and was climbing back into the surrey when Nick invited him and his wife in for a drink. Will and Nancy smiled and declined, recognizing the significance of the moment. "We'll see you tomorrow," Will said, and drove the surrey away.

Audra stepped inside the house and was greeted by a virtual wall of faces looking at her. She stood on the step just inside the house and surveyed its interior, which had not changed much over the years, causing a flood of warm memories. Out of the corner of her eye she saw her mother's body lying still, pale, and very small inside a coffin but Jane, who stepped forward to greet her, redirected her attention.

Before Emily or Sarah could do the same, Nick asked, teasingly, if she know who all the kids were. Audra had stepped into the house, now truly surrounded by family.

"Well, let me see," Audra said, and looking at the tallest boy, she continued, "This has to be Tom and, oh, Nick, it's like looking at you when you were a young man!" She turned her focus to the young man standing next to Tom, "So, this of course would be Will."

Tom and Will, in turn, stepped forward and, gave her a kiss on the cheek, "Aunt Audra," they said.

She turned towards the five girls and said, "Hmm, this is going to be a little harder," and Nick and Jarrod chuckled softly, Heath smiled.

Audra walked towards Vicky, the taller of the two brunettes. "I am guessing this dark haired beauty would be Vicky."

Vicky smiled and said, "Yes, I am," and also kissed her cheek. Ellie greeted her the same.

Audra guessed Leah correctly because she said she looked so much like her mother with her dark blond hair and hazel eyes. Carrie and Grace were also greeted by name. Carrie thought she'd never seen anyone so beautiful in her life.

Only Tom and Will had strong memories of Audra, everyone else had been so young the last time she visited. But all of them had seen photographs of her and her name was mentioned often and always with great affection.

Audra then knelt in front of the two younger boys who stood side-by-side, one an infant the last time she'd met him, the other not yet born.

"Oh," she said, "I just don't know which one of you is James and which one is Daniel!"

James extended his hand and said, "I'm James Jarrod Barkley." This made the grown ups laugh.

"So you are," said Audra, and she shook his hand, "and it is a pleasure to meet you." And then she hugged him.

To Daniel, she said, "I understand you're very good at building things."

Daniel had his chin tucked down to his chest but he looked at her, smiled, and nodded and he hugged her back.

Emily stood on the second step of the staircase and watched as Audra got re-acquainted with her nieces and nephews. She thought Audra looked thin and Emily observed her closely. Victoria had confided to Emily her concern that Audra was unhappy or unwell though she didn't know why she thought that. Aside from being thin, Emily could find no indication for concern from where she stood.

Tonight, despite a long journey, Audra presented a rare beauty. She was dressed in an exquisitely tailored coat and dress ensemble made of dark blue silk. Her hair, now the color of pale champagne, was pinned up to frame her face to which age had brought only refinement. As if by magic spell, her beauty, grace, and elegance had almost silenced the crowd around her.

Still kneeling in front of Daniel, Audra's attention was drawn to the top of the stairs and she slowly and gracefully stood, still looking up. All other eyes followed hers to the small child who stood at the top of the staircase, watching the activity below.

Strands of wavy blond hair had been pulled loose from Julia's braid, forming a light halo around her head. With bare feet and a long white nightgown, the child looked positively angelic.

Nick started up the stairs, arms outstretched and said, "Julia, come meet your Aunt Audra."

Julia took a few tentative steps down. She might have been too shy to join the group on her own but her larger-than-life-itself father was coming to get her and he would protect her. As he approached, she reached for his neck with her small arms and he lifted her up in his. As they made their way down the stairs, she whispered something in his ear that made him smile a broad smile.

"Well," he said, "She's kind of like a fairy princess. She's my sister, so that makes her your aunt like Sarah and Jane."

Standing close, Audra said, "I am so happy to meet you, Julia." Julia responded by burying her face in her father's neck, so Audra added, reassuringly, "Perhaps tomorrow we can get to know each other better."

Only then did Emily step forward and she held Audra in a long embrace. "It's been too long, Audra," she said, and suggested Audra might like something to eat.

"No, thank you," said Audra, "but a glass of sherry sounds lovely."

The grown ups gathered in the dining room, allowing the children use of the billiards room. And there was no seating in the parlor which encouraged casual conversation.

Emily laid out a plate of bread, cheese and meat, and was glad to see Audra nibble at something. Emily was amused, and then annoyed, by Carrie's sudden and frequent need to consult with her about nothing, all to get a glimpse of Audra, and maybe get some of Audra's attention.

Nick still held Julia and soon enough she was asleep on his lap, her head resting against the black leather vest. There she stayed, too, while Nick enjoyed the company of his sister once again and the camaraderie of family.

Nick had been tentative at best as a hands-on father when Tom was an infant. Babies in early infancy scared him because they were so tiny and helpless. He liked them better when they were fatter, and babbling, and could sit up on their own, when they didn't seem quite so fragile. "When they can bounce," he had joked. He became a little more comfortable with each new baby. By the time Julia came along, his fear seemed to have vanished entirely. Hours after Julia was born, Emily had watched Nick from where she lay half asleep in their bed. He tiptoed into the room, reached into the cradle, lifted up the sleeping newborn and cradled her in his arms while he gently rocked in the rocking chair. He never took his eyes off her.

Victoria had watched Nick and his baby daughter, and one day told Emily, "Your children belong to both of you, of course." Emily couldn't imagine what on earth the woman was trying to say, she thought maybe Victoria was losing her mind, but Victoria continued, "But Tom is Nick's boy, Will is yours, Caroline is yours. Daniel you share equally. But Julia, oh, Julia is all Nick's."

Emily had smiled back at Victoria and told her that she was quite wrong: Nick was all Julia's.

After an hour or so, after most of the kids had taken themselves off to bed, and Sarah was making subtle but pointed hints to Heath that it was time to go home, Nick carefully got up from his chair, and said to the sleeping child in his arms, "C'mon, punkinhead, let's put you to bed." And he did.


	9. Chapter 9

It had been a long and eventful day for everyone and tomorrow promised to be longer still.

While Emily was tucking Daniel into bed, he asked if she and his father were made at him.

"No," she said, "Why would we be mad at you?"

"Because of James."

""I don't understand," Emily replied, baffled, "Is this about James getting into the forge?"

"Yes."

"Did you tell him to do that?" Emily had a good guess what was on her son's mind.

"No," he answered.

"Then why on earth would we be mad at you?" she asked. She wanted him to say the words.

"Because I didn't stop him!" Daniel was clearly troubled about this. "I didn't even know he was there!"

She knew it. "Daniel," Emily said in the voice of maternal authority she learned from Victoria, "You are not responsible for what other people do. Do you understand me?"

He nodded.

"If you told him to do a bad thing and he did it then you are partly guilty," she said, using the word 'guilty' thinking it was a better word than "responsible" to use with a nine year old. "But your father and I know you wouldn't do that. We're very proud of you."

Daniel let her kiss him on his forehead. She smoothed his hair with her hand and sighed, "I wish you would stop carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders."

~~BBB~~

After Heath and Sarah left to go home and everyone else had retired to bed, Audra sat alone in the parlor beside her mother's coffin and cried the million tears she had stored behind her eyes.

As a girl and then as a young woman, Audra had shared her inner life with her mother: her hopes and fears, triumphs and mistakes. As an adult, she had kept so much from her and had bore her pain utterly alone. She wanted to spare her mother from her pain.

~~BBB~~

Nick was sitting by the fire in the bedroom, lost in thought, glass of whiskey in his hand, when Emily came in and started to change into her nightgown. She had taken to wearing a nightgown to bed years ago because too often a crying child needed her in the middle of the night and she got tired of getting dressed in the dark and the cold.

After eighteen years of marriage, Nick and Emily had reached a comfortable routine together underscored by mutual trust, an occasional but usually unyielding difference of opinion, and punctuated by a not infrequent celebration of each other. He could still make her weak in the knees and she could still take his breath away.

Late at night, in their own room, when the kids were in bed and the day's work was done, they would sit and talk about the hopes and concerns that were just between them.

"Daniel feels guilty about James," was all she said. They both knew the boy had compassion and empathy, maybe too much because, though they agreed these were good traits, he suffered because of them.

"He still awake?" Nick asked.

"I think so."

Nick groaned as he stood up, not because he resented having to reassure his son. He wanted to do that. But years of barroom brawls, bullets, and general hard living were starting to catch up to him and his body ached, especially when he'd been sitting for long.

"Son," he said as he entered the boy's room and sat on the edge of the bed, "your mother says you feel guilty about what James did today."

"Kinda."

"Well, I feel pretty bad about it, too. But I don't feel guilty about it. And you're no more guilty for what he did than I am." Nick pondered what he just said and thought it was pretty good. "There's a difference between feeling bad and feeling guilty. We all feel bad about James for doin' what he did."

Daniel thought on that for a moment, and then said, "Okay, Pa."

Nick lovingly ruffled the hair Emily had just smoothed and then returned to join her in their room.

"Jarrod's gonna have his hands full with that boy," he told her as he sat back down in his chair facing hers.

Emily sat in the rocking chair she had when she married Nick, a chair which had now helped soothe five babies. She had her nightgown on and her long curls were freed from the pins which held them up during the daytime. Nick wished she'd wear her hair down all the time. She smiled. "His curiosity is admirable, though."

"His curiosity is gonna get him in a heap of trouble one day. If he were my kid . . . "

He knew he didn't need to finish his sentence and Emily changed the subject.

"It was nice to see Jarrod and Will talking tonight," she offered, bringing up the topic of Will perhaps going to college.

Will had never exactly come out and said he didn't want to stay on the ranch but the signs were there. He was an exemplary student, happy and eager to learn at school, and was always more interested in the business of the ranch than the actual running of it. Emily – and Victoria - wanted to encourage him towards a university degree but Nick was stubbornly resistant to the idea.

He frowned into his whiskey. "Ranch needs more than one Barkley to run it and he's the better head of the two."

"And the better roper," she reminded him. Emily taught all the kids how to throw a lasso, including Leah and Grace.

"And the better roper," Nick laughed quietly & raised his glass to her.

There was soft knock at the door and they both assumed it was Daniel needing more reassurance.

Thus, Emily's eyes were focused about four feet from the floor when she opened the door in order to meet the boy's eyes. Instead, she found Audra standing there.

"I'm very sorry, Emily," Audra said, "Can you help me with my dress?"

"Of course!" Emily replied and she slipped out the door, closing it softly behind her.

Emily followed Audra down the hall and around the corner to the guest room. Audra had not unpacked and only one bag was open, a gloriously beautiful white silk nightgown lay across a nearby chair.

"Audra," Emily said, "I am so very sorry about your mother. I know how much she wanted to see you but between your travels, her arthritis, and my babies, we were simply not able to get up to Seattle."

New tears slipped down Audra's cheeks and she smiled at her brother's wife.

"It's my fault, Emily, for not making the time to come see her," said Audra, who then turned around so Emily could unfasten the multitude of hooks down the back of her dress.

Audra slipped out of the bodice of the dress, exposing her chemise, a tightly laced corset, and a very large, very dark blue and purple bruise covering her left shoulder blade and disappearing beneath her underclothes.

Emily gasped and Audra instantly realized her unintentional indiscretion. Normally, her maid helped her undress and maids only talk to each other. And they don't expect explanations.

"Oh, that!" Audra said dismissively, "I lost my balance yesterday coming down the stairs and fell against a wall."

But there were other bruises, lots of them. There were bruises of various colors and sizes up and down Audra's arms, some of them in the shape of large fingers.

Emily reached up to touch a faded yellow bruise, barely noticeable even up close, on Audra's jaw. "And this?" she asked. "That's an old bruise and I know you're not clumsy."

Audra turned to face Emily and pleaded, "Please don't tell Nick!" Emily knew the plea was an admission that the bruises were not the result of accident.

Emily could find no words and wasn't sure she could even speak as the truth of the bruises sank in. For a moment she thought she was going to be sick.

"Emily, I'm fine, really I am!" Audra said, trying to sound reassuring. "It's not as bad as it looks."

Emily stood still, eyes wide, mouth open, and wondered how it couldn't be as bad as it looked. That any man would inflict such bruises on a woman was unbearable to her and Emily couldn't understand why Audra would make excuses for it. For him.

"No, Audra," Emily said, finding the words she needed to speak, "It's not fine. Audra, it's not fine at all."

The two women stood facing each other in silence for a prolonged moment before Emily spoke again.

"Audra," she said, "I'm very glad to have you home. And safe. We will talk about this tomorrow." She wanted Audra to know she wasn't going to forget or ignore what she saw. She turned around and walked slowly towards the door.

"Emily!" Audra called out softly, "Promise me you won't tell Nick!

Emily stopped and turned around and, seeing Audra's bruises from a new vantage point, was shocked all over again .

"I can't make that promise," Emily said. And she left the room.

Nick was in bed, asleep, when Emily slipped back into the room. What she had just witnessed was far more upsetting to her than Victoria's unexpected death the day before. Yesterday, she barely knew what to do, but this, she had no idea what to do about this.

She tiptoed over to the table by the fireplace and poured herself a small whiskey. Only then did she notice her hands were trembling. She drank the whiskey in one swallow.

She thought about waking Nick but only for a brief moment. There was no use in upsetting him in the middle of the night when he couldn't change it and Charles was too far away to confront tonight.

Emily knew in her bones that Nick's first impulse would be to beat Charles bloody, maybe worse. While Emily was not opposed to that, she also thought it might not be the best solution to this very bad situation.

Emily started to wonder how long Audra had been treated so badly and she suddenly found herself emotionally exhausted.

She poured herself another small glass of whiskey, drank it fast, and heard Nick stir in his sleep. Her thoughts turned to her own marriage, her own husband. Hardly mild mannered, Nick never laid a hand on her, never threatened to in any way, and she'd seen him very angry many times over the years.

She turned the lamp down, walked softly over to the bed, and took off her nightgown. She crawled under the covers and pressed as much of her skin against his as she could. She kissed him until he woke up and they made love, slowly, silently.


	10. Chapter 10

Heath and his family were the first to arrive the morning of the funeral. Since this was not a working day on the ranch, schedules and everyday expectations were eased and breakfast was served buffet style. Jarrod and his family soon arrived, as well. All wore the clothes of mourning: the women in black, the men in dark suits, and even the youngest children wore black armbands. Audra had not yet joined the family for breakfast but she was up and getting ready, Carrie reported. Carrie had been flattered and excited when Audra asked for her help getting dressed. Audra wore a long sleeved chemise under her corset. Carrie assumed this was a fashion trend and made a note to get one for herself.

There was little talk at the table and though Jarrod tried to start a congenial conversation or two, no one felt much like talking today.

Emily couldn't relax. Between anticipating Victoria's funeral, making sure the house was ready for guests, and still deeply troubled by last night's revelation, she could not sit still. She flitted in and out of the dining room, checking on food preparation in the kitchen, making sure for the hundredth time that the parlor was arranged just right, that the flowers weren't wilting. And always her thoughts returned to Audra and they made her heart ache and her blood boil. It seemed the more she thought about Audra, the less she knew what to do.

In the parlor, Emily stood at Victoria's coffin and, looking down upon the woman's face, hoped that by some miracle Victoria would guide her to help Audra.

In her peripheral vision, she saw Audra crossing above in the upstairs hallway and when she was on the stairs Emily looked up to greet her. Audra's black dress was the latest fashion, made of silk crepe, and Emily considered for a moment how extensive Audra's wardrobe must be that she wouldn't need to buy a mourning dress. Emily knew she hadn't had the time to do so and, anyway, Emily knew that was not a ready-made dress. The two women exchanged sad smiles as Audra glided past the parlor and into the dining room, greeted by warm voices. Emily waited a few minutes before joining the family.

She stood in the doorway of the dining room and observed how somber yet normal everyone seemed. Will sat next to a fidgety Julia and kept her distracted with stories and counting games. Nick and Tom talked in low voices about upcoming ranch work. And Audra looked appropriately sad but perfectly normal. One would never guess at the secret she kept.

So lost in thought, Emily was visibly startled when she realized Jane was speaking to her.

"Emily," she said, "please sit down and join us."

Emily sat down and stared at the food on her plate. She thought she would cry right then and there listening to Audra's gentle voice talking with her admiring nieces.

Nick stared at his wife who had been so characteristically calm and efficient over the past two days and now looked worried, even frightened.

Heath looked at Nick staring, then at Emily, then over to Jarrod, who, along with Jane, had also noticed how distracted Emily was.

"Emily," Jarrod said, "I think you've done a wonderful job of hosting all of us and preparing for Mother's funeral." Other voices added their assent to Jarrod's statement but Emily didn't notice.

Pappy! Emily thought. Jarrod will know what to do about Audra. She decided she would talk to Jarrod. Today.


	11. Chapter 11

Pastor Nelson and the invited guests began arriving shortly after 10: The Holts and the Palmers, Will and Nancy Marvin, the Drumms, the Fryes, the Mendozas, the Espinosas, old and new neighbors and friends from the valley. Many had moved away over the years and some had stayed in touch. Carl Wheeler, now living south of Modesto, was unable to come but sent a nice floral bouquet.

Bertie and Florence did a beautiful job of keeping the coffee, punch, small cakes, and sandwiches circulating until the service began.

The house seemed full to bursting even with a guest list that omitted friends from the political and financial arenas. Victoria's children agreed her service would focus on the pioneer spirit of the woman and not her wealth or political influence.

Father Chavez, the Roman Catholic priest, spoke beautifully about Victoria's compassion and generosity of spirit and led the gathering in a prayer to which even the staunchest Protestant couldn't object.

Jarrod gave a heartfelt eulogy in which he honored Victoria as mother and teacher to her entire family. In it, he included his own memories from childhood that illustrated her courage and leadership.

Heath had been strongly encouraged to give a eulogy but he declined with just as much strength. A shame, thought Emily, for Heath could be so soulful and insightful. He would have offered a tribute as stirring as Jarrod's but Heath wasn't one for speeches; his expressed feelings for Victoria, when he expressed them, would remain a family treasure.

Audra wept openly. Heath and Sarah held hands. Emily, with Julia on her lap, just felt numb.

As the service came to a close, Vicky and Ellie played "Rock of Ages" on the piano and a violin, respectively. Emily managed to whisk Julia away from the room before the coffin lid was closed.

Tom, Will, and the sons of neighbors, serving as pall bearers, carried the coffin feet first out the front door and into the waiting hearse. The family climbed into the surreys directly behind the hearse, Nick and Heath riding their mounts. Slowly, the procession moved away from the great house and to the grove and the waiting grave. The hands not out with the herd stood lined up alongside the driveway, hats off in respect to Victoria Barkley.

Next to the grave of the father-in-law she never met, Emily saw the deep and neatly carved out grave waiting to receive her mother-in-law, friend, and mentor, and a wave of deep sorrow swept over her at last. She clutched Nick's arm affectionately and made herself look at the two small headstones in front of her: One for Jacob Jarrod Barkley, her baby who lived but a few short hours, the other for Henry Nicholas Barkley, Heath and Sarah's stillborn son. She leaned her head against Nick's shoulder and cried.

A few of the guests returned with the family to the house after the service but they didn't stay long. Emily found Jarrod standing at the foot of the stairs, saying good-bye to Amos Royce, son of Victoria's friends, Jim and Althea, and thanking him for coming. She stood and waited till Amos was gone and she had Jarrod's attention.

"Jarrod, can we talk privately?" she asked.

If Emily's voice didn't betray the importance of speaking with Jarrod privately, the expression on her face did and he followed her into the library and closed the door behind him.

Emily closed her eyes, took a deep breath. "Audra is covered in bruises," she told him and let out an audible sigh.

"She's what?!" he replied, a little too loudly. Jarrod's mind raced to find some acceptable explanation for what he just heard.

"There are bruises on her arms, a big one on her back, one on her jaw, different sizes, different colors," she spoke quickly, in short descriptions, trying to say as much as possible in a short amount of time.

"What does Audra say about the bruises?" Jarrod asked. He was trying to put aside personal concern and approach the issue as the attorney he was, though now he was pacing back and forth in front of her.

"She says she fell on the stairs," Emily explained, "then she tried to make me promise not to tell Nick."

Jarrod stopped and looked at her. "You didn't tell Nick," he said and she shook her head. It was a statement, not a question. They both knew she hadn't told Nick or Nick would be storming and ranting and threatening murder.

Jarrod resumed his pacing while Emily added, "Jarrod, she's says she's fine. Your mother knew something wasn't quite right and, Jarrod, I'm so worried."

Jarrod stopped again, patted Emily on the arm, told her to wait there, and stepped out to go get Audra.

~~BBB~~

There were platters of food in the dining room, mostly breads, cheeses, and meats for sandwiches should anyone want lunch. Most of the children were gathered there. Grace shared her sandwich with Julia.

The kids had been especially good throughout the events of the morning but Julia's patience was wearing thin and neither her oldest brothers nor her favorite cousin, Grace, could calm her down or talk her into a nap.

Tom tried and failed to pick up a squirming, crabby Julia so he dragged her into the parlor to find their mother but found their father first. Nick took the child up in his arms and sat her abruptly on his hip, all while she whined and twisted.

"That's enough, Julia!" Nick said with unquestionable authority. Julia stopped squirming but she whimpered, kicked her legs once, and banged her head against her father's chest and kept it there. He started to search for Emily.

James and Daniel sat on the staircase for a better view of the neighboring ranchers' hats and gun belts.

"Father?" Daniel said, to get his attention.

Nick walked over to him, "Yes, Daniel?"

"Momma's in the library with Uncle Jarrod and Aunt Audra," Daniel told him.

"Thank you, son! Nick said, and reached out to touch the boy's head with his free hand, the one that wasn't holding tight to the petulant child on his hip.

Nick was unprepared for tension he felt when he entered the library.

Emily was standing near the doorway, Audra sat on the sofa, while Jarrod stood before her leaning against the desk. He had just asked her if Charles ever hit her. Audra refused to answer but her face turned a deep scarlet.

"What is going on in here?" Nick demanded.

He was greeted with silence while Jarrod and Emily looked at Audra who had an almost defiant look on her face. Emily walked a few steps over to Nick, took Julia from him and left the room. No, Audra, she thought, I didn't tell Nick. I told Jarrod and Jarrod will tell Nick.

Emily was only a few steps into the foyer, with Julia in her arms, when she heard Nick yell, "What?!" from the library. Moments later, she was starting up the stairs when Nick appeared in the doorway to the foyer and shouted, "Heath! Heath! Get in here now!" and went back into the library.

"Boy," said James, still sitting next to Daniel on the stairs, "your father sure can yell loud!"

"Aw, that's nothin'" said Daniel, and then the two boys walked quietly towards the library. But Aunt Sarah intervened and shooed them away while her husband approached, walking quickly.

Heath looked at Sarah quizzically and she mouthed the words "I don't know" to him.


	12. Chapter 12

Audra assured her brothers she was fine and this was all a misunderstanding on Emily's part. She refused to show her brothers the bruises on her arms. That she refused to answer Jarrod whether Charles ever hit her only confirmed to him there was no misunderstanding. Nick trusted his wife's judgment and knew Emily did not look for trouble where wasn't any. His brothers knew this, too.

Jarrod leaned against the desk in from of Audra while Nick paced and Heath sat quietly next to her on the sofa, leaning forward, resting his forehead against his hand, thinking.

Frantic to make to her brothers stop their inquiry into the secret of her marriage, Audra conceded that sometimes Charles was a little rough with her but he was always very sorry afterwards. But this admission only intensified their concern. Jarrod asked her how many times Charles was sorry afterwards and Audra looked up at him, pleading with her eyes.

"Audra," Jarrod said, "I know this pattern. That's how men like that keep your loyalty: They're very sorry till the next time. And it never stops, often it just gets worse." A quiet corner of Audra's mind recognized in Charles what Jarrod described but the thought stopped there.

Jarrod watched for a response from Audra while Nick continued pacing, his hands clenched into tight fists.

Heath sat up and turned to her and calmly told her, "You know, Audra, we can't let you go back."

Audra's eyes widened and she said, "I have to go back! Don't you see? No one can know about this! No one!" She meant that Charles must never know his secret was out.

"I'm afraid others people do know, Honey," Jarrod said. He hadn't called her Honey in a long time but it felt right in the moment and he used it to remind her she was loved. "The people who love you the most." He continued, "Heath is right, we can't let you go back to him."

Audra looked terrified and pleaded with them. "You don't know what he'll do!"

"We're not going to let him do anything to you," Heath said.

"No! You don't understand!" She was shaking her head sadly, "He's a very powerful man. He has a lot of influence . . . "

Nick stopped pacing and looked at her. "It's three against one," he said emphatically, "and we have just as much money as he does and friends who are just as powerful!" He walked to stand next to Jarrod in front of her. "I won't allow you to go back."

Audra felt defeated and pushed from two sides: Her brothers who were insisting on keeping her here and the man to whom she had pledged her life. The man who was likely very upset with her for defying him. And now her brothers knew what she and Charles had concealed for so long. She knew her brothers would confront him, one way or another, and she did not want to be alone with him after they did.

So Audra gave in to her brothers and agreed to stay - for now, anyway. She would need to think of a way to go back to Charles and make everything all right. Right now, though, she was overwhelmed, exhausted, and needed time to think.


	13. Chapter 13

Emily was in Julia's room a long time, soothing her, before the child calmed down enough to let sleep take over. Emily wanted to sleep, too, but couldn't.

The house was eerily quiet when Emily came downstairs. She heard some low, adult, voices coming from the billiards room, talking calmly, but she went instead to the kitchen where Bertie and Florence were finishing the clean up from the service and from lunch.

She thanked the sisters for the wonderful work they did at Victoria's service and went on to finalize plans with them for dinner that night. She also asked where the children were. Because Bertie and Florence always knew where the children were.

Leah and Ellie were at the guesthouse, Carrie and Vicky were upstairs in Carrie's room, and all the others were out at the stables, the sisters reported.

In the billiards room, Emily found her husband, Jarrod, and Heath and their wives. Audra, Jarrod, explained, had gone upstairs to rest. Emily sank into a chair, uninhibited with those present to show her exhaustion. Heath offered her a brandy but she declined.

"Jarrod says you saw the bruises?" Jane stated more than asked.

Emily nodded her head and spoke slowly, deliberately, "There's a very large, fresh bruise covering most of the left side of her back. There are several bruises up and down both her arms, different sizes, different colors. There's one very faded, yellow bruise here," and she pointed the spot under behind her jawbone, below her ear.

Nick clenched his right hand into a tight fist, not for the first time that afternoon.

"Would you be willing to testify to that?" Jarrod asked.

"Of course, I would," Emily said.

Nick looked at Jarrod and asked, "You're thinking of a divorce hearing?"

"On the grounds of cruelty, if it comes to that," Jarrod replied.

"Audra and Charles have lots of help," Emily noted, "I wonder what they know."

"Ah, but servants are paid not to talk," Jarrod countered, "Doing so could jeopardize future employment."

Heath stood off to the side, rocking on his heels, and watching the whiskey as he swirled it in his glass. "All I know is, divorced or not, she can't go back to him," he said.

"I agree," said Emily, "but how do we convince her? She doesn't seem to think there's a problem."

"We make her stay!" Nick stated emphatically. Emily shook her head slowly; she didn't think there was any way to make her stay.

"Makes me wonder how it got so bad," said Sarah, "The Audra I first met would never have tolerated such treatment." Others nodded in sad agreement.

"I work with women in marriages like that," Jane said. "It starts out with something minor, maybe a little pushing or grabbing, and there's an apology afterwards and a promise not to do it again." She paused then noted everyone was listening closely and continued. "For awhile everything is good again and she remembers why she loves him. And it might be good for a long time. But the next time, the harm is usually worse but the apology and promise are sincere."

"It's almost as if she's embarrassed by it," said Emily.

"She probably is," Jane replied.

"Why should she be embarrassed?" Nick demanded loudly.

"Because the husbands, over time, convince the wives that everything is their fault, even their own behavior," Jane explained.

Heath looked up from his glass and said, "And you get told something enough, you start to believe it." He was speaking from the depths of his own experience.

~~BBB~~

Audra lay in the bed in the guestroom of the home she'd grown up in. She couldn't sleep.

She wanted to return to Charles because he was her husband and she was his wife and she had made a promise before God when she married him. She worried how Charles would be when she returned. He might be kind and forgive her for going against his wishes. He might be like that.

Or, he might be angry. She was afraid the longer she stayed away the angrier he would be.

The angriest he'd ever been with her was a few years back and she could no longer remember why. He had slapped her across the face with such force that her mouth bled and she careened into a corner. He stepped back as she slumped down against the wall, both from losing her balance and from trying to protect herself. When she recovered her balance and stood back up, Charles moved in again and slapped her again with even more force. She had little recall after the second slap, all she remembered was her sheer terror.

Just as quickly as his temper had flared, it was extinguished, and he apologized profusely and tenderly as he helped to her feet and walked her over to sit in a chair while he went to get ice for her face. Audra then remembered Jarrod's explanation about patterns to her.

The next day, Audra's face was so bruised and swollen she was unable to see out of one eye and she refused to look in a mirror. She decided then that she would leave him and return to her family in California but she wanted to wait until the bruising subsided.

Charles was contrite. He admitted being horrified by his own actions. He pleaded with her to forgive him and he promised he would never hit her again. Every day he told her how much he loved her, how much he needed her. He explained that business had fallen off due to the strikes and he simply lost control. And he told her she was the only woman he had ever loved.

Charles remained loving and apologetic long after the bruises had faded. He even bought her a horse ranch outside of Issaquah. The beating had scared him and he said he was now a changed man. And she believed him. Now she was beginning to doubt him.

One tear slipped out of her eye and fell on the pillowcase before she fell asleep in the bed in the family home.

~~BBB~~

Emily and her sisters-in-law planned a fine family dinner for the day of Victoria's funeral. The dinner would feature prime rib from the best stock the Barkley Ranch had to offer, fruits and vegetables from the garden, and the finest wine brought up from the cellar. Emily was in the kitchen preparing German chocolate cake.

Nick and Jarrod put the parlor furniture back to its usual arrangement under the direction of Sarah. Heath rode off to look at fences and to be alone with his thoughts.

Jane joined Emily in the kitchen, sifting flour and melting chocolate. Both women wore aprons over their black mourning dresses and talked in low voices about the situation with Audra.

~~BBB~~

Audra woke up from her nap to the sound of doors opening and closing in the room next to hers and she focused on listening. She couldn't make out the words but the voices belonged to two people. She knew one of the voices belonged to Carrie and guessed the other belonged to Vicky. She smiled, got out of bed, and freshened up. She looked at the faded yellow bruise on her jaw and studied it, remembering.

She knew her brothers would insist on continuing the discussion about Charles and she was not looking forward to it. So, before she started down the stairs, she decided to peak in on her littlest niece.

Julia was up from her nap and playing quietly with her dolls on the floor. Audra stood just outside of view and listened.

There was some sort of dialogue about eating ice cream and riding horses. And there were kissing noises.

Audra had to interrupt before she laughed out loud. She stepped into the room. "Hello," she said, "Can I play, too?"

Julia nodded her head and Audra joined her on the floor.

"Is that the momma and papa?" Audra asked.

Julia nodded and handed her two dolls.

"Which one is Julia?" she asked, looking around the room.

"Julia's at school, " the little girl replied. "And so is Daniel and so is Carrie." Julia didn't go to school yet. Then she picked up a carved wooden horse and walked it over to Audra. "This is Phoebe," she said.

"Oh! What a beautiful horse!" Audra exclaimed. "Do you like horses?"

Julia nodded her head.

"So do I!" said Audra, "Do you ride?"

"I ride everyday," Julia said nonchalantly, "I ride Mondays and Tuesdays and all days."

"Where do you ride?"

"To the north ridge and I go down the hills and I go real fast," Julia explained.

"Does your papa take you riding?" asked Audra.

"Uh-huh," said Julia, nodding her head, "He puts me way up in the saddle and I hold tight till he gets there." She raised an arm above her head to demonstrate just how high up the saddle is.

"Would you like to go riding with me?" Audra asked. She would love a short ride and being with Julia would delay any further discussions about her own life.

Julia didn't respond but Audra stood up and reached out her hand.

"Come on," she said, "I'll ask your mother and your father and if it's all right with them, we'll go for a short ride." Julia took Audra's hand and together they walked down the stairs.

Jarrod and Nick were sitting in the parlor but stood up when they saw Audra and Julia.

Audra and Julia walked up to Nick and Audra said, "Nick, Julia and I would like to go for a short ride, that is, if it's all right with you."

Nick suppressed a wide smile and said, "I think that's a fine idea. You tell Tom and Will to saddle up Juniper or Clancy for you." He bent down towards his daughter and added, "And you have fun and take good care of your Aunt Audra." Then he tapped her on the nose with his finger.

Jarrod and Nick watched as Julia led Audra out the front door.

Jarrod turned to Nick and, smiling, he said, "Well, I suppose that was only a matter of time."


	14. Chapter 14

Dinner that night was almost festive: a celebration of Victoria Barkley and her family. Emily felt lighter having shared her burden.

Wine was poured for all but the three youngest and glasses were raised in a toast to mother and grandmother and to the importance of family.

Emily kept a discreet eye on Audra who was having an animated discussion with Grace in the chair next to hers. Tom was also chatting with them. Emily assumed they were talking about horses since that was an interest all three had in common. To look at Audra tonight, Emily thought, one would never know.

Jane sat to Emily's right and they talked about the girls. Jane thought it would be fun for Leah and Carrie to spend some time in San Francisco. She wanted to expose them to the culture of the big city, and maybe to the notion of college. Both Carrie and Leah had been to the city before of course but it was always with their families. This would be their first time traveling alone. Emily wasn't completely sold on that idea, though. She thought 14 was too young to ride the train alone.

Vicky and Ellie were planning to go to college. The idea of Carrie going to college had never been discussed and likely not for Leah, either. Carrie, Emily thought, may not be interested. Not yet, anyway. Her inclinations were not academic. Leah, however, was always studying something. The previous summer, she'd found a book in the library of the big house all about botany and the different classifications of plants. Before the summer was over, the girl knew the Latin names for every tree, shrub, and flower that grew wild on the ranch.

Emily turned to her left and, catching Heath's attention, asked what he thought about Leah going to college.

Heath was going to say he didn't see the need for it but checked himself, especially in the presence of Jane and her interest in women's suffrage, and reconsidered.

"If Leah wants to go to college," he said, "then I'm all for it." Suddenly, he thought about his mother after whom he had named his first daughter. And he knew, without a doubt, how very proud she would be of her namesake.

"I don't have to send her now, do I?" he asked teasingly. Jane and Emily laughed.

Vicky and Carrie managed to keep the peace at the children's table despite James and Daniel's best efforts to annoy Julia. Julia did a good job of ignoring them, with Vicky's encouragement, and when she finished her dinner to Vicky's satisfaction, she climbed off her chair and stood close to her father and played with her doll.

Nick looked over at her plate to make sure she'd eaten enough and wrapped his left arm around her while he finished his dinner with his right and continued talking with everyone at the table about plans for the next day. When he was done eating, he pulled her up onto his lap and together they ate a very large piece of German chocolate cake.

There were farm chores to be done in the morning but Nick also wanted to check on the herd. Jarrod said he wanted to ride out to the herd with his brothers but he needed to go to town in the morning to send off some telegrams. He was hoping to delay his return to San Francisco for a few more days. Riding out to the herd was delayed till the afternoon. Audra, too, wanted to go; she hadn't gone riding for months and she wanted to see the ranch again. Grace had gotten a pony, Starbeam, for her twelfth birthday a few weeks before and she wanted to go. And since it was turning into a family outing, James and Daniel were invited, as well. They needed no encouragement.

Sarah suggested she and Jane and the four girls might ride into town for a change of scenery while the others were out with the herd. She needed to pick up a few things and then she thought they could have tea at a hotel. Both of these motives were true but Sarah also wanted to give Emily the gift of a quiet house for an afternoon and maybe the chance for a nap.

After dinner, the children drifted off to their various activities. Tom and Will had originally planned to go to a dance in town but that plan was cancelled in the wake of Victoria's death. Instead, they challenged their father and uncles to a game of pool.

Julia alternated between riding her rocking horse in the billiards room and playing with the doll in the dining room she'd brought to dinner.

The women, Audra included, cleared the table of dishes and platters and wine glasses and brought them into the kitchen. Bertie and Florence had been given the night off after doing so much for the funeral and cooking dinner for so many.

The mood was light and jovial until Jane asked Audra when Charles was expecting her home. They all wanted to know how much time they had to convince Audra not to return to Seattle.

"He's not," said Audra.

Questioning glances were exchanged around the kitchen and Emily said, "He does know you're here, doesn't he?"

"Of course he knows I'm here," Audra answered.

"Did you tell him when you might be back?" asked Sarah.

"No, I just left." Audra was being secretive; she knew it and she knew it wasn't kind or fair. "He didn't want me to come but I left anyway. So, you see, I can manage just fine." Her tone was soft and did not match her defensiveness.

Emily took the chafing dish Audra was holding and asked, "He knows your mother died, doesn't he?"

"Yes, of course he does. He read the telegram," Audra explained, annoyed at the questions.

Sarah sat down at the kitchen table and looked at Audra, trying to understand, "Charles knew your mother had just died and he did not want you to go to the funeral? To be with your family?"

"That's not it at all! You make him out to be a monster and he isn't!" Audra's panic was rising and she wasn't sure why. She made herself calm down a bit and explained, "He's just so – he has a business to run and he didn't feel he could spare me. He needs me to keep house and to be at his side at important social functions."

By now, Jane had also sat down at the table with Sarah. Emily remained standing.

"Audra, honey," Emily said, "My husband also has a business to run." She looked at Audra and could see she was listening. "Eight years ago, I received a telegram informing me that my father was ill and likely dying. The first thing my husband did was make arrangements for the ranch and the children, " she looked at Sarah, who had been so helpful during that time, "so he could accompany me to Ohio."

Audra stood silent, motionless, considering what Emily just said.

"What we're trying to tell you, Audra," Jane said, "Is that marriage is more than doing for your husband, it's a partnership."

"With your best friend," Sarah continued, "who takes care of you as much as you take care of him."

Audra had always considered her brothers' wives to be her friends and it began to dawn on her that indeed these were the only friends she had. She knew she trusted them. As she stood there, she remembered every horrible thing Charles ever said about the friends she tried to make and she wondered if that was because he didn't want her to hear the things she was hearing now.

Soon, all four women were sitting at the table and making good work of emptying the wine bottles brought in from the dining room. There, they played a subtle game of Truth or Dare only without the dares and with Audra the primary player. Audra checked and re-checked her understanding of her marriage as her truths spilled out and her brothers' wives responded:

No, it is not normal to cringe with fear or dread when you hear your husband coming home. No, it is not acceptable for your husband to choose your friends or everything you wear in public. And it is certainly not acceptable for your husband to physically harm you in any way.

Each of the women shared cherished moments and habits of her own husband and marriage. Jarrod, Jane explained, often took care of the house and children when Jane attended suffrage meetings or volunteered with the local aid society. It was his way of showing his support for her pursuit of her own interests. Emily pointed out how she and Nick talked almost every night and that he asked her opinion on certain aspects of the ranch and took her opinions seriously. Sarah, everyone knew, was fully in charge of the household and managed the finances for her family.

Audra knew what her sisters-in-law were trying to do and she argued against them in her head but the arguments grew weaker and weaker. She had the sensation that the foundation on which she had built her life was starting to crumble and it scared her. She also sensed she would never be able to put it back together the way it was.

After noting the absence of wives and sister from the gathering in the billiards room, the brothers enlisted Jarrod to see what they were doing. As he got near the kitchen, Jarrod overheard enough words to know the nature of their discussion. Only Jane saw him approach and shook her head just enough for him to know this was not a good time to interrupt. He backed away unseen by the rest of the group.

Jarrod walked quietly back past the dining room where he caught a glimpse of a small heap under the table. It was Julia, curled up and fast asleep. He got down on his hands and knees, pulled her out, and scooped her up without waking her and carried her to her father.

"They're in the kitchen talking wife talk," he said as he handed the sleeping child to Nick.

"Uh-oh," said Heath, smiling.

Both Nick and Heath had a pretty good guess at the seriousness of the topic being discussed in the kitchen. In the interest of the others present, however, they kept it light-hearted and brief.

Nick carried Julia to her little room but realized she was both fully dressed and asleep, sleeping the deep sleep of small children that grown ups often envy. He made a half-hearted effort to wake her enough to get her out of her dress and into her nightgown but he quickly gave up. This was a detail of childcare he'd never encountered before and he didn't think he needed to start learning it tonight. Or ever. The child slept that night in the dress she'd worn to her grandmother's funeral.

Noises drifting down the hallway from the parlor let the women know their families were retiring to their homes for the night. As they stood to leave Emily said, "Audra, you always have a home here with us."

"And with us," Sarah said.

"And with us," Jane added.

Audra immediately recognized the women's words as the kindest gesture anyone had made to her in a very long time. She wasn't entirely convinced she could or should leave Charles but she was getting there and it showed in her eyes.

As goodnights were being exchanged in the foyer, Heath kissed Audra on the cheek and stopped a moment to say softly, "Think about what Mother would want you to do."

Audra went to sleep that night emotionally exhausted but hopeful in a way she hadn't felt for years.


	15. Chapter 15

Emily was ready for sleep. Having a house full of guests, laying her mother-in-law in her grave, then carrying – and sharing - Audra's awful secret left her beyond tired. After Heath and his family left for home and Jarrod's family was starting to, she climbed the stairs to see if Daniel would let her tuck him in but he was already asleep. She knocked softly and opened Carrie's door and bid her a good night. She did the same with Tom and with Will. Then she looked in on Julia who was fast asleep under her blanket. Emily herself didn't wait for Nick before she, too, climbed into bed. Sleep came easy but she kept waking up.

Jarrod had stayed behind after Jane and their children had walked to the guesthouse for bed. He and Nick sat in the parlor, talking in low tones. Sometime later, Emily woke to the sound of the front door opening and closing and the lock being secured. Then she sat up and waited for Nick.

Moments later, he slipped into the room and saw her through the darkness, sitting, waiting.

"I thought you'd be asleep," he said.

"I can't sleep. I keep waking up."

He sat on her side of the bed and started undressing, boots first.

"You knew about this last night, didn't you?" he asked.

"Yes, Nick."

He stopped for a moment. He was going to ask her why she didn't tell him then but he knew why.

"I would really like to find Charles and show him some Barkley justice," he said, his voice tired.

"I know that," she said.

He stood, walked to his side of the bed, finished undressing, and dropped his clothes on the chair next to the bed, then got under the covers next to her.

"I put Julia to bed," he said.

"Thank you."

"I couldn't get her into her nightgown."

"What?" she asked.

"She's sleeping in her dress," he confessed.

Emily chuckled softly. "I'm sure she'll live," she said, and slipped down under the blankets, snuggling close.

They lay close together in silence for a few minutes while Nick played with her hair.

Then, "Em?"

"Hm?"

"I was thinking, that is, Jarrod and I were talking," he said haltingly and Emily knew he was afraid of how she would react to what he was about to say. "Well, it's a big house and a big ranch and now with Mother gone, well, I was thinking, maybe you could use some help running things, at least for awhile"

The room was very dark and he couldn't see her face but Nick could tell she was smiling. She was smiling because she had the same idea.

"It would have to be someone who's good with children," she warned.

Nick played along, relieved. "But someone who knows ranch business," he added.

"And can help host social events with people of power and influence," Emily countered.

They were quiet a moment before Nick spoke again.

"Think she'll go for it?" he asked.

Emily considered for a moment. "I think she's coming around," Emily said, "and if we ask her in front of the kids, she might feel more inclined to agree."

Now Nick was smiling. He stopped playing with her hair and pulled her in tight with his arm. "You're kind of sneaky, aren't you?" he teased.

"Yes, I am. And you are a good man, Nick Barkley," and she readjusted her head against his shoulder and fell fast asleep.


	16. Chapter 16

Everyone arrived at breakfast the next morning at nearly the same time. With the children excited about the afternoon's plans, the din of chatter was louder than it had been for the past few days. Emily stood off to the side just to enjoy it for a moment and thought how happy Victoria would have been to be there, too. The thought made Emily miss her so much it actually hurt her heart.

Julia wore a different dress today. She was getting used to having everyone around; she chatted with Jarrod and informed him that she slept in her dress last night, then she flitted off to join Carrie and Vicky and Ellie, and then, of course, to stand next to Audra and simply look at her. James and Daniel were also in high spirits. They had already started morning chores and James had been very good about following rules.

Emily thought Audra looked more rested this morning than she had yesterday. Her face seemed softer somehow. Audra was also looking forward to riding out to the herd in the afternoon.

The happy chatter didn't stop after everyone was seated so Nick called for quiet and Jarrod led the family in a short prayer of thanks for a new day.

Talk at the table revolved around the day's plans, of course, until Emily asked Nick if she should still plan on the next meeting of the executive committee of The Cattlemen's Association being held at their home. She pointed out it was only three short weeks away and there was so much to do to get ready.

Without hesitation, Nick said, "Of course!" and Emily looked at her plate and chewed her lip.

Everyone watched this exchange but only Jarrod knew it was an act.

The act was not entirely convincing but it worked. Nick asked Audra in front of everyone if she would stay on longer to help Emily. Audra stopped to consider. She reasoned to herself that Charles would be angry whether she was gone three days, three weeks, or three months. And in the midst of this gathering, she couldn't think of a good reason to decline.

"Yes," she said, "I would love to help in any way I can."

Jarrod offered to send a telegram that morning to Charles to let him know Audra would be staying at the ranch awhile. Audra felt momentary panic at how Jarrod would write the telegram but she knew she trusted Jarrod to do the right thing by her.

What Audra did not know was that Jarrod and Nick wrote the telegram the night before and in it Audra's brothers did not ask Charles but informed him that his wife would be staying in California to help with the house and the ranch. There was to be no mention regarding how long she would stay; It was, in fact, a power play disguised as standard courtesy.

"Audra," Emily said, leaning forward in the chair, "You don't know what a relief that is for me. I really do need help. There are the thank you notes to write for the flowers and there are still many people to notify by letter." She wasn't lying. The telegrams and flowers continued to arrive though the volume was starting to decrease. She added, "I'm sure Sarah can help, too, but she has her own home and family to manage." And everyone knew Sarah refused to hire help.

Carrie was thrilled to have her aunt stay on. Audra was the most sophisticated, glamorous, person she had ever met and she wanted to be just like her. The adults were quietly relieved to have Audra remain in California.

Nick suggested a family picnic for the next day, Sunday, after church and the idea was met with unanimous enthusiasm.

After breakfast, Emily and Audra made a preliminary list of tasks to be completed over the next few weeks and Jarrod left for town. The men and boys went out to finish morning chores, and Julia followed Carrie, Vicky, Ellie, and Leah to the corral to see Grace's new pony and to take turns with Grace riding him.

In town, Jarrod sent telegrams to his business associates and legal clients, as well as the telegram he and Nick had written to Charles the night before. He also sent a telegram to his good friend, a regional director with the Pinkerton Agency, asking for a thorough investigation into personal affairs and business dealings of Charles Lorton, Esquire.


	17. Chapter 17

Lunch was boisterous and short. Everyone was eager to get on with their afternoon plans. The girls dressed up for their trip to town and kept a somber decorum but it was easy to tell they were excited to get off the ranch and away from horses, cows, dust, and cowboys.

Audra hadn't worn slacks for years but she found some of her old riding gear in a trunk Emily directed her to. The slacks were a little large on her now. Grace usually wore slacks on the ranch but had been wearing a skirt since her grandmother died. She knew her grandmother wouldn't have cared but her mother suggested a skirt or dress would be more appropriate for the time being. Today, she wore riding breeches under her petticoats and skirt; a trick she learned from her Aunt Em. James was outfitted for the ride in some of Will's old britches, kept handy for when Daniel could fit into them. They were still a little large for James but cuffs were rolled up and the belt was tightened. He wore his own shirt.

Nick, who slipped five dollars to his daughter, saw the girls off in the surrey. Sarah was driving; she and Jane dressed in black mourning dresses.

Tom and Will helped James and Daniel saddle up a couple of ponies while Audra saddled Juniper.

Jarrod had long since given up his law office in Stockton but he always kept a horse and saddle at the ranch. He relished the processes of grooming and saddling a horse. Riding on the ranch was a freedom he enjoyed more now than he did when he lived there.

Nick said he'd be back in a minute and started towards the house. He wanted to see Emily and wish her a good afternoon. He yelled "Em!" when he came through the front door and she called back to him from the dining room where she was folding table linens and putting them away in the credenza. Julia was standing off in a corner, pouting. Nick knew Emily had put her there.

Nick kissed a smiling Emily on the cheek and said, "Gonna miss me?"

"Yes, I suppose I am," she said, giving him a side hug.

"What's got into her?" he asked, nodding towards Julia. The girl's face was red and streaked with tears.

"I won't let her ride out to check the herd," Emily answered matter-of-factly.

Nick burst out laughing and walked over to Julia, saying, "Julia, you are too young to ride herd."

"No, I'm not!" she insisted and started to cry again, loudly.

Nick felt like he'd just stepped in a nest of sleeping rattlesnakes. Julia cried hard enough that it was difficult to understand what she was saying exactly and she wasn't listening to a thing he was saying.

He leaned down, resting his hands on his legs, and got his face close to hers. "Julia, we'll go riding tomorrow when we all go on the picnic," he reasoned with her.

"I already explained that to her," Emily said, amused.

"Julia!" Nick stood back up and tried a sterner approach. "Julia, you are not going riding today and that's final! I want you to stop this crying right now! Do you understand me?" he said loudly and angrily. Daniel might have stopped at Nick's shouting but Julia crumpled to the floor, thrashing about, and wailed louder.

Nick was getting irritated. He sighed and got down on his haunches to try to talk to her again. "Julia," he said calmly, but the child kicked a leg out at him and, whether she meant it to or not, it struck him.

Before either of them could process what was happening, Nick stood, taking her up with his left arm, turned her to her side, and swatted her backside once, hard, then set her back on her feet.

She looked at him, silent and startled, then started to cry again but he held up his finger and gave her his sternest expression and she stopped. He turned and walked back to Emily who stopped folding linens as he approached.

"Nick?" she said, looking up at him. She thought he looked sad.

He waited for a reprimand but instead Emily put her hand on his arm and said, "Have a good afternoon and enjoy yourself," and she reached up to kiss him on the lips. He kissed her back fiercely and when at last they separated, she touched his face and smiled.

Nick was pensive when the group started to ride out. He figured he didn't regret paddling Julia exactly, but he did regret that he did it in a moment of uncontrolled . . . anger? Could a grown man really be that angry at a small child? Maybe it was impatience. That's what it was, he thought, I lost my patience. He shook his head. A four-year-old girl got the better of him and that did not feel good.

Heath and Audra rode together, Jarrod and Will rode together, James and Daniel, and Nick lead the group with the aid of Tom and Grace.

James proved to be a pretty good horseback rider, especially considering how little experience he had compared with the others in the group.

Grace, on the other hand, personified her name when she was in the saddle. On her pony, Grace didn't limp and both her legs worked equally well. On her pony, Grace thought, she was no different than anyone else. But she was wrong. Grace was strong and beautiful on horseback and every horse and pony she rode knew it. Earthbound, her limp was the part of her people noticed first and they tended to overlook her big blue eyes, white blonde hair, full pink lips, pink cheeks. She had always been a pretty girl and one could already see she would be a beautiful woman, made even more beautiful by the serenity and confidence she projected when she rode. Heath loved to ride with her and to watch her ride. He was sometimes awestruck that he had helped create her.

When they reached the herd, Nick and Heath had a long talk with the head wrangler while Jarrod and Will talked about Will's plans for the future. He told Jarrod his father wanted him to stay on the ranch, said he needed him to stay, and since Will wasn't certain he wanted to go to college anyway, he didn't think it was worth the fight it would require to discuss it with his father. Jarrod offered to speak with Nick about letting Will explore college as a possibility. Will said he would think about it.

Once satisfied with the plans to move the herd to the north pasture where there was better grass and the terrain was better suited to gathering them for branding, Nick and Heath lead the group southeast in the hope of seeing the few mustangs left in the area. They were unsuccessful however and the group started for home.

Tom, Will, and Grace rode ahead with Heath teasingly admonishing his daughter to look after her older cousins and to keep them out of trouble.

Daniel asked his father if he could show James the field where he'd caught some rabbits a few weeks before. Nick hesitated and looked at Jarrod who nodded his consent. Nick told the boys to stay on the main trail, don't go past the south gate, and to be back at the house in one hour.

After the boys were out of view, the four siblings found themselves alone together for the second time in two days. This time was different however; this time they were not holed up in the library discussing something unpleasant. This time they were out on the land they all loved. Audra savored every moment of it and her brothers didn't ask her any questions. It was just the four of them again and they made the most of it.

While they watered their horses at a stream, they continued to catch up with each other. Nick told them how he had paddled Julia earlier; it still bothered him.

"It happens, Nick" Jarrod offered. "They're masterful little manipulators and it's easy to lose patience."

"You ever paddle your kids?" Nick asked him harshly. It was a rhetorical question because Nick knew Jarrod and Jane didn't paddle their kids.

"Well, no," Jarrod replied, "but I've come close a few times with James."

I'll bet you have, Nick thought, I've been tempted a few times myself with that boy.

"I think a swift swat on the backside can make a world of difference, especially when they're little, "said Heath.

Audra said nothing. She always had a nanny to help with her son and she was afraid the topic of hitting would shift its focus on her.

"Does Emily know you paddled Julia?" asked Jarrod. This was not first discussion the brothers had had about child rearing and they knew everyone's position on it.

"She saw it happen," Nick replied.

"What'd Em say?" asked Heath, figuring his sister-in-law had really given Nick the what-for.

Nick looked up at his brothers and sister and smiled. "She kissed me."

"And just what did sweet little Julia do that made you paddle her?" Audra asked, genuinely curious to know.

"She was pitchin' a fit, a giant fit, because," he paused, "I wouldn't let her ride herd with us," he said, smiling.

Once the laughter died down, the brothers shared stories about the funny and endearing and infuriating things their children had done.

Again, Audra said nothing. She pretended to listen to the stories but they made her sad. She always wanted to have a lot of children but Charles, it turned out, did not. Audra's one child had been raised by a nanny until he was sent away to boarding school. She had strongly objected to sending Charles, Jr., away to school but Charles had insisted. Hearing the stories made her realize how much she had missed and she felt her sadness turn to anger: Anger at Charles for denying her the pleasures of motherhood, something she had wanted all her life. The foundation that she had felt crumbling beneath her before was now shattered and she wasn't sure she ever wanted to see Charles again.

Tom, Will, and Grace were in the stables when their fathers and aunt and uncles arrived home. They took Nick and Heath's horses to put them away. Jarrod and Audra unsaddled and curried their own and then they joined the others in the house.

Jane and Sarah and the girls had only just returned from town and there was lot of happy chatter in the parlor. The venture to town following three days of grief and confinement had distracted them from their sadness. Vicky, Ellie, and Carrie were especially energized and chattered on about shops and taking tea at the hotel. Leah also enjoyed the trip but, like her father, was not generally very talkative.

Jarrod listened to the things that interested his daughters the most and asked them thoughtful questions about their experiences. Nick and Heath were less actively interested but were just as pleased to see their daughters happy.

Julia was up from her nap and just as chatty as her sister and cousins. Emily took her hand and walked her to where her father was standing.

"Julia?" said Emily, "Do you have something to say to your father?"

"I'm sorry I kicked you, Papa," she said.

Nick picked her up and said, "I forgive you, Angel. And I'm sorry that I paddled you." They exchanged a quick kiss.

Satisfied, Emily went to check on dinner in the kitchen just as Tom and Will came in from the barn in order to get a preview, and maybe a sample, of the meal.

"Where are James and Daniel?" asked Emily.

"I don't know," said Tom, shrugging his shoulders while he lifted the lid on one of the pots simmering on the stove.

"Didn't they ride in with your father?" she asked.

Tom and Will looked at each other, "No," they said together.

The three of them started back towards the parlor and ran into Heath in the hallway.

"Where are James and Daniel?" Emily asked Heath.

"They're not here?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. "They were supposed to be back here a couple hours ago."

"Heath," said Emily, "the boys aren't here."

Heath turned his head toward the parlor and shouted, "Nick!"


	18. Chapter 18

James wanted to go beyond the south gate. Daniel did not.

James was sure there was a river beyond the south gate and he wanted to go there. He remembered going there with his father once. He had been to the ranch many times before but he didn't live on the ranch and he had never explored it on his own. James lived in the city where navigation is measured by blocks and street names and features of buildings. He dismounted and opened the gate.

Daniel lived on the ranch and knew some parts of it very well but not this part. His father ran the ranch and his father said not to go past the south gate.

"We can't go there," said Daniel, "Father said not to. He'll tan my hide."

"Your father beats you?" James asked, leading his pony through the open gate.

"Yep." Daniel was only partly lying. He stayed in his saddle, his pony standing still and grazing under him.

"How will he know if we don't tell him?" James reasoned. Daniel had a feeling his father would find out anyway.

"We've already been gone almost an hour. We need to go!" Daniel shouted. James was now back on his mount and riding into the thick of trees beyond the open gate.

"We'll be back in time!" James called back and then he was out of Daniel's view.

Daniel wished his father were there. He thought about going to find him but he was no longer sure where his father was and didn't know how long it would take to find him.

So Daniel rode his pony through the open gate and closed it without dismounting. For a moment, he thought he would keep it open as a clue in case they got lost and people came looking for them. But gates are closed for a reason, he knew, so he closed it, latched it, and rode into the woods after his cousin.

He rode fast till he caught up with James who was scanning the landscape around him. "I know there's trail around here somewhere," he said.

Daniel pointed southwest and they changed their course to head for the trail.

"Whatcha lookin' for anyway?" asked Daniel.

"River. Big ol' river," said James.

"Well, there's a river, all right," Daniel explained, "but you gotta go back to the main trail and ride west about three mile to get to it." Daniel knew this trail didn't lead anywhere, just east and west about a mile.

They could hear the river from the trail but the sound was faint so the river was still some distance off. James rode off the trail and through the woods toward the sound of the river and Daniel followed him.

About a hundred yards from the trail, there was a ridge. The boys dismounted and, sure enough, there was a river. But it was at the bottom of about fifty feet of steep but slightly terraced wall of rock. The boys lay on their stomachs and looked. Most of the wall was sheer drop-off but some it looked tantalizingly navigable.

This wasn't the same place James remembered going with his father but it would do. He plotted out the least vertical path down to the river and started his trek down to the riverbed. Daniel stayed flat on his belly and watched.

James made it neatly about 10 feet down when some rock gave way and he slid another few feet before he stopped and stabilized himself.

"Ow!" he said, shaking his right hand. He had scraped the palm of his hand on some rocks and it stung.

He successfully scrambled down to a flat outcropping of boulder that formed a sturdy ledge still a good distance above the riverbed. He looked up and encouraged Daniel to come down with him. Daniel however had gone as far as he was going to go and remained where he was.

James jumped a few feet down to another nearby rock ledge, smaller than the one he left, and looked around. Both outcroppings offered nothing but sheer vertical passage to the riverbed. He had miscalculated. Furthermore, looking up, he found the way he came down looked a lot less likely as a way back up. With growing panic, he thought he might be stuck.

"Come on, James!" Daniel yelled down to him, "Let's go back!"

James was not about to let his younger cousin see him scared so he started to climb. He didn't get far: the rocks turned to loose rubble under his hands and feet and he made himself jump back down to the first ledge below him.

He composed himself and searched the wall above him for a safer, more stable, path up. He got pretty far on his second attempt but then the rocks gave way again. This time he felt himself falling through space and not against the wall. It felt like time was passing very slowly.

He gained control by sliding his foot onto a boulder a few feet above the second rock outcropping and made his body slide close against it till he reached the stable ledge.

He was shaking; he was also bleeding quite a bit. He had cut his left shin on some sharp rock and his pant leg was quickly soaking through with dark red blood.

He looked at his leg and it kept bleeding. He looked up at Daniel and asked, "What should I do?"

Daniel, still laying on his belly, called down to him and directed him to tear off a strip of his shirt and wrap it tightly around the wound.

"I can't do that! I'll get in trouble!" James said, his panic showing.

Idiot, thought Daniel. "Too late for that!" he replied, matter-of-factly. He was already trying to figure out what he was going to tell his father.

James pulled his shirt out from under his belt and tore a strip vertically from the cloth and sat down to wrap the fabric around his calf, just below his knee. Afterwards, he simply sat a moment, to catch his breath, to try and calm down, when Daniel pitched a rock toward him that landed a few feet away. Damn cousin was trying to kill him now for getting into this mess.

"Whatcha do that for?" yelled James, looking up at Daniel.

"Rattler," said Daniel, nonchalantly.

James jumped to his feet. "Rattlesnake?!" he cried.

"They're a lot more scared of you than you are of them but ya gotta let 'em know you're there," Daniel explained. "So stomp your feet and kick some rocks around," and James proceeded to do just that.

Daniel had an idea. He lifted himself up off the ground and called down to his cousin, "I'll be right back!" He untied his pony and led him back through the woods where he tied him to a tree next to the trail. Then he walked back to the ridge and laid back down on his belly again, calling to James that he was back.

James was still kicking rocks around to warn all the snakes away. He looked up at Daniel. "Maybe if you throw a rope down," he called up to him.

"Don't have one," Daniel answered. He scanned the ravine up and down, searching for some navigable path James could take to get either down to the riverbed or back up to the ridge, but he didn't see one.


	19. Chapter 19

From the spot where the boys were last seen, Nick headed north, Jarrod went north then looped east, Heath rode directly west, and Tom went to the south. Grace rode with Tom on her pony. The plan was to return to the house by nightfall, with or without the boys. Will stayed close to the ranch with the thought that maybe the boys were nearby and simply lost track of time. He searched the barn and all the outbuildings, the fields, the orchards, the woods, and the creeks nearest the house. He didn't find a trace of them.

Jane tried to conceal her panic but she wasn't very good at it. Emily was worried but not panicked: This was not the first time she'd lost a child on the ranch and it probably wouldn't be the last. Audra was glad her son was safe in school even if she did miss him. Sarah offered up yet another prayer of thanks that her children didn't give her such frights.

Audra stayed close to Jane, reassuring her and distracting her with tales of her own youthful adventures on the ranch. Jane was touched that Audra would extend such caring and optimism in light of her own situation.

Audra's recounting of growing up on the ranch brought her more than memories, though; the stories reminded her of how it felt to have a sense of self, how it felt to be truly loved. And, as she worked to calm Jane, she also remembered what it was like to have meaningful purpose in her life. Her life now was parties and committees, every one of them chosen by Charles in order to advance his interests, not hers. Sitting on the bench in the garden with Jane, holding her sister-in-law's hand, Audra found it interesting that, even in the midst of worrying about two young nephews, she, herself, felt caressed by a sense of place and belonging. And peace.

Carrie came to the garden carrying a tea service and set it on the table. As she poured the tea for her aunts, she said, "Aunt Jane, I think we've all gotten lost at one time or another but we all found our way back home. We're Barkleys."

Tom and Grace debated whether to go beyond the south gate. They knew the boys were told not to go past it and there was no sign that they had. Tom thought they would have gone to the river so he and Grace decided to split up: Grace would search beyond the gate and Tom would ride west to where the trail met the river and she would meet up with him there.

She rode through the woods till she got to the little trail and rode west a bit before she turned around to search east. She didn't have to go far; there, she found one of the ponies tethered to a tree next to the trail and pointed Starbeam through the woods and towards the High Ridge, calling out the names of her cousins.

"Over here!" Daniel called back.

When she got to him, she only saw him and the other pony, not James. She dismounted, hitched Starbeam to a tree, and walked quickly to the ridge where Daniel stood. When Grace walked slowly and made the effort, she could minimize her limp. When she walked quickly, there was no hiding it and she hobbled more than walked.

Grace peered over the ridge, following Daniel's pointing finger, and there below she saw a much defeated and bedraggled James, shirt torn and open, covered in dust, and a bloody bandage around his leg. She almost laughed at the sight of him, he was so pathetic looking, but neither he nor Daniel seemed to find any of this amusing.

She immediately returned to Starbeam and took the rope from her saddle and made a lasso, just as her Aunt Em had taught her when she was a younger kid.

"If I rope him," she told Daniel, "we'll hitch the other end to Starbeam and he can pull him up but I'm wondering how we'll control the rope." She was also concerned the rope might get free of the saddle and then she and her nine-year-old cousin would have to bear the full weight of James at the other end of the rope.

Daniel thought for a moment, then, without a word, he took the long end of the rope and looped it once around a narrow tree that stood close to the ridge. Together, they secured the rest of the end of rope to Starbeam.

Grace returned to the ridge and called down to James that she was going to throw a lasso down and he was to step inside the loop and tighten it around his chest and under his arms. But when she threw the lasso, she threw it true, and roped herself a cousin. She watched to make sure he secured it as she told him but it didn't look right to her.

"What if he slips out of it?" she asked Daniel, "Or the rope's too tight? I don't want to squeeze him to death, his hide's not as thick as a calf's."

Daniel got back down on his stomach and called to James to take off his belt. Then, he instructed him to put it back on but to loop it through the rope in the back. Daniel figured this would get mighty uncomfortable for James with the rope pulling his pants up in back but at least it lessened the chances that James would get free of the rope and it would take some of the pressure off his upper body.

"Hey, Daniel," Grace said, impressed, "how d'ya think of that?" Daniel shrugged and Grace walked over to Starbeam.

Grace controlled the rope between Starbeam and the tree and Daniel controlled it between the tree and James. He held that rope tight enough that it burned his palms but he didn't loosen his grip.

Slowly, James began his ascent up the face of the rocky ridge, sometimes climbing, sometimes being pulled in small, slow increments.

When at last he made it to the top, he crawled several feet to get away from the edge. He didn't ever want to see that ridge again.

Grace got her canteen and unwrapped his bandage. The fabric of his pant leg was stuck to the half dried blood and when she peeled it away, the wound started to bleed again. The cut was not quite three inches long and it was fairly deep. She had Daniel fetch the knife she carried on her saddle and she cut the pant leg off. Next, she poured water over the wound from her canteen and had James hold the pant leg fabric over it with pressure while she tore off the bottom six inches of her petticoat. She drenched the wound again, then bandaged up the leg with several yards of lacy linen.

Daniel rode behind Grace on Starbeam till they got to his pony tied at the trail. The three cousins then made their way back through the woods to the gate where they got back on the main trail and headed west. James had no idea how they found that gate again, nothing looked familiar to him at all.

The sun was starting to set, casting long shadows, and distorting distant images. All the same, Grace spotted Tom far ahead and kept shouting his name till he heard, turned around, and started galloping towards them. He fired his pistol in the air in case anyone was within earshot so they'd know to come.

Tom rode up next to Grace. "Where d'ya find them?" he asked.

"At the High Ridge," she said, "but that's only 'cause Daniel tied his pony up on the trail."

Tom looked at the boys. Daniel looked no worse for wear but James was another matter altogether. He rode up next to his little brother and shouted angrily, "You know you got everyone out lookin' for you?!" He shook his head, thinking about their father, and added, "Boy, I'm sure glad I'm not you," and then he laughed and rejoined Grace.

"People are looking for us?" James asked Daniel, horrified. It never occurred to him that this little adventure would cause anyone any trouble.

Daniel said nothing but he cast a scowl at his cousin that James didn't see. Yeah, he thought, and your father will probably buy you a big ol' present for coming home in one piece.


	20. Chapter 20

Heath heard the gunshot and turned his horse to the trail that lead north toward the house. He saw the group ahead of him and galloped to catch up.

Riding up alongside Tom, he asked, "Where d'you find 'em?"

Tom said, "I didn't. Grace did."

Heath looked over at his young daughter and could not have been prouder of her than he was in that moment. He wanted to hear all about it but first he looked the boys over. Aside from looking rather dejected, Daniel looked fine. James, Heath thought, had a look of dread on his dirty, scratched face. Heath looked him up and down and knew they'd gotten more than just lost: One of them had been injured.

Tom rode ahead to alert everyone that the boys had been found and were on their way. Jane and the girls came out of the house to greet them. At the sight of James, Jane placed her hand over her open mouth but recovered and ushered him into the house.

Emily and Sarah were coming out from the kitchen where they were keeping dinner warm and found Heath standing in back of the excited little crowd. Jane suggested they should send for the doctor but Emily thought James should be examined first and instructed Jane to bring the boy into the kitchen. Heath agreed with Emily.

"How about you, Cowboy?" she asked Daniel, "You hurt?"

"No, Momma."

"Well, good," she said, and went to join Jane and James in the kitchen, followed by Tom and Audra.

James sat on the kitchen table while his mother looked him over and noted a number of scratches and abrasions, none of which were serious.

"He says the cut is pretty deep," Jane told Emily when she came into the kitchen.

Emily pulled up a chair, put the boy's foot in her lap, and began to expertly and gently unwrap the bloody bandages, edged in lace that she recognized as her own handiwork.

"Did Grace wrap this?" she asked James. He nodded. Amazing Grace, indeed, thought Emily. "How did you get this cut?"

"On some rocks," he replied.

"They were on the High Ridge!" Tom said, angrily.

"You didn't try to go down the ridge, did you?" Emily asked, teasing, because no one with a brain would ever try to climb down that ridge. But James nodded his head again.

She stopped and looked at him, now thinking maybe only little boys and people with no brains would try to go down that ridge, then she resumed unwrapping, "You're lucky you're still alive, Cowboy," she said calmly, "Did Daniel go down the ridge with you?"

"No, Ma'am," James answered.

As the final bandage was removed and the cut was exposed to view, Jane and Vicky, who had joined her, turned away.

Emily looked closely at the wound and stated, "Well, this is a common injury among cowboys and it's going to need stitches." Then she asked Tom to get her sewing basket and some whisky. He started to leave but she stopped him with another request. "Oh, Tom! We're going to need a leather strap, too," she said very seriously.

"Yes, Ma'am," Tom said with equal seriousness, a charade he maintained till he was well out of the kitchen.

"A leather strap?" asked James.

Emily turned to look at him. "For biting, Cowboy. Takes your mind off the pain," she said gravely.

Audra was looking in a cupboard and said, "We used to keep a box of bandages in here but I guess that was a long time ago."

"Oh, we still do, but we keep it up high, away from small children," said Emily, and she smiled at Audra, pointing to where the box was now kept.

As Audra brought the box down, Emily told Jane they could send for the doctor but explained that the doctor couldn't do anything she couldn't do and, besides, she said, she was much better with a needle and thread than he was. Jane smiled slightly and nodded her head.

Audra took down a bowl, placed it on the table next to James, and then started chipping away at the ice in the icebox.

Tom went into the parlor to get the whisky and to look for his mother's sewing basket. There, Will had joined Heath and Sarah and the rest of the girls, including Julia, in hearing Daniel and Grace recount their adventure. Heath and Sarah had been particularly amused at how Grace and Daniel took turns saying, "You should have seen Grace!" and "You should have seen Daniel!"when they first started to tell about it. By now, they were calmer and Heath was asking Daniel for details about how they came to be at the High Ridge to begin with but he was getting distracted by Tom shuffling the bottles of alcohol stored in a high cabinet.

"What're you looking for there?" Heath asked.

"Whisky. And Mother's sewing basket," replied Tom.

"I believe the sewing basket is in the billiards room," said Sarah.

"And so is the cheaper whisky!" Heath called after him as he walked away.

Passing the parlor on his way back to the kitchen with the needed items, Tom told Will that they needed a leather strap. Will suppressed a grin and got up to go to the tack room in the barn to retrieve just such an item. They appreciated that their mother made little boys bite on a leather strap when they got stitched up; they had known her to do this for years. Daniel followed Tom into the kitchen so he could watch.

Whisky and cold water were mixed in the bowl and bandages placed in it to soak. Audra and Jane used some of those bandages to clean the scrapes and small cuts on the boy's face, hands, and arms.

Emily took the smallest needle she could find in the basket and threaded it with silk thread and that, too, was placed in the bowl. Next, she searched the bottom of the box of bandages and pulled out a vial of toothache drops.* Several drops of toothache medicine were added to the whisky bowl.

Audra wrapped some ice in a whisky-soaked bandage and placed it firmly on the cut. While they all waited for the area of the cut to numb, Will came in with a small leather strap which he handed to James.

"Here," said Will, gravely, "this always helps me."

"Now," Emily told James, "first we have to wash that cut so you don't get an infection."

"Grace already did that!" said James, hoping to minimize his future pain. "She ran water through it from her canteen." Of course she did, thought Emily.

"Water is good, whisky is better," Emily said, and proceeded to the wring out a bandage close to the top edge of the cut. The whisky cleaned the wound and toothache medicine helped numb it. James didn't flinch. She repeated this a couple of times, telling him that it was his grandmother who taught her how to treat cowboy injuries. When she was done, Audra returned the icy bandage to the cut.

"You're doing good there, Cowboy," Emily said. She rubbed a few toothache drops directly onto the edges of the cut. Then, she took up her needle and inserted it into an edge at the bottom of the cut.

"How does that feel?" she asked.

"I can feel it but it's not too bad," said James.

"Good. Let's begin." Emily's hand was swift and certain and her stitches even. She moved the needle with her right hand while her left hand held the edges of the cut together. Audra moved the icy bandage upwards, keeping pace with Emily's stitches, and leaving her just enough space to work. James flinched and winced a few times but he didn't cry or move his leg.

Smack dab in the middle of this delicate operation, Nick and Jarrod burst through the front door, Nick yelling, "Where are they?" He did not sound happy.

Nick and Jarrod had met up on the trail leading to the house and heard the news of the boys' safe return from the hands when they brought their horses in to be curried. It was now almost dark and both men were on edge; they had spent their entire journey not knowing if their sons were safe.

Heath told them James was getting stitched up in the kitchen and offered them a brief summary of the day's adventure. Nick stayed to have a drink and hear more of the story but Jarrod, on hearing how his son had insisted on going past the gate and then tried to go down the ridge, quickly left the parlor for the kitchen.

Emily was tying off the final stitch when Jarrod walked in. James was relieved to see his father. He had never had stitches before and he knew he had tolerated the procedure well. Jarrod, however, was not impressed with his son; he was furious.

Audra wrapped the boy's leg in fresh, dry bandages and when she was done and James pronounced whole, Jarrod ordered the boy into the library. Vicky had been sent to the guesthouse to retrieve another set of clothes for James to wear and had already handed them to Jane.

Nick entered the kitchen as Jarrod and Jane were following their son out of it and ordered Daniel to go upstairs and wait in his room. Daniel looked at his mother who nodded while also giving him a look that told him it would be okay. It was not a look anyone else might have noticed, it was that subtle, but Daniel was very good at reading his mother.

Nick started up the back kitchen stairs after his youngest son but stopped and turned when Emily said, "Nick?"

"I want to hear him tell it!" Nick said. He was emphatic.

Tom and Will had vanished quickly from the kitchen when their father arrived. Audra remained there, cleaning up, listening.

"He's just a little boy, Nick," Emily said.

"He's a little boy who disobeyed an order and I want to hear his reason!"

Nick knew more of the story than Emily did. All Emily really knew was that James had tried to climb down the ridge and Daniel did not and that to get there they had to go through the south gate, something they had been told not to do.

Emily sighed and followed Nick up the back stairs.

 _* Yes, those toothache drops. The numbing agent in those toothache drops was widely available over-the-counter and, near as I can figure, would have been used as a general topical anesthetic in the 1890s._


	21. Chapter 21

_A/N: I am very new to this site & to fiction writing. My primary objective is to write for myself but find I love reading reviews (I read all reviews for other authors' stories I like, as well). I keep 2-3 chapters ready to post at all times but have withheld posting while the site fixed its little problem. In short, here is Barkley justice as written before I read the five most recent reviews:_

Daniel sat on his bed; his hands folded neatly in his lap, and waited for his father. He thought he would be more scared than he was. He was mainly focused on the rope burns on his palms; they hurt pretty bad.

He didn't have to wait long. His father and mother came into his room, walking quickly. His father leaned against the wall, facing him, arms folded, and his mother sat on the bed next to him.

Nick started, "Daniel, suppose you tell me how it is you came to be at the High Ridge this afternoon."

Daniel told the story as it happened; how James had opened the gate though Daniel told him not to, how James rode into the woods.

"And you rode with him?" Nick asked.

"Yeah, after I couldn't see him no more," Daniel explained.

"Anymore," Emily corrected him. Nick shot a quick look at her.

"What do you mean you couldn't see him?" Nick asked.

"He rode away into the woods."

"So you didn't really ride with him, you rode after him," Nick said to clarify.

"Yeah."

Nick scratched his chin and frowned. This was the version he'd told to Heath, as well, and it would need to be checked with the version James told his father. But Nick knew his son and the boy had never been openly defiant before.

"Son, we're gonna see what James has to say but it seems to me you had two choices: Come and find me - but that would have taken too long and who knows what kinda trouble that boy woulda gotten himself into. Or you coulda gone with him and make sure he didn't get himself killed which it sounds like you did."

"Yes, Sir," said Daniel. He wasn't sure he could trust James to be truthful but it seemed his father believed him anyway. His father didn't always stop to hear the story before he started yelling; usually, he got mad first and afterwards listened to the other side. Daniel was glad his father was listening.

"Tell me about the High Ridge," Nick said, arms still folded.

Daniel told about the rock ledges and the rattlesnake he saw and how he threw a rock at it and moving his pony to the trail in case someone came looking for them.

Nick and Emily exchanged a look.

"Tell me about the rope," Nick said.

"Grace threw the rope," was all Daniel said.

Nick waved one hand dismissively and said, "I know that. Tell me about the hoist and pulley."

So Daniel described how he instructed James to loop his belt through the lasso hoop and how he used the tree trunk to stabilize the rope.

Emily hadn't heard any of this. She looked at Nick wide-eyed, then leaned forward and turned to face her son, "Do you mean to say that you and Grace pulled James up that ridge by a rope?" she asked.

Daniel hadn't heard anyone but himself and Grace describe what they had done today and it sounded pretty impressive when someone else said it. He nodded his head vigorously.

"Son," Nick said, "you did good today and I'm proud of you. If I hear that any part of this adventure was your idea, you and I will . . . but I think you did the right thing today."

Emily knew none of the adventure was Daniel's idea. Nick wanted more definitive testimony, but he knew it, too, and he smiled at his young son. Then, shaking his head, he walked out the room, saying to himself, "I got a genius for a son."

Emily stayed seated on the bed, turned to Daniel, and gave him a tight hug that kind of embarrassed him even though he liked it. "Oh! I am so proud of you!" she said. Then she asked for more details and Daniel was happy to oblige. He showed her his palms and she said she'd put some ointment on them. She also made a mental note to remind Nick about who taught Grace to throw a lasso.

Sarah was getting dinner ready to put on the table when Emily and Daniel came down the back stairs and into the kitchen.

"The natives are restless," Sarah said.

"So I see," Emily replied, laughing. Audra was sitting at the kitchen table next to Julia who was devouring a very large piece of buttered bread.

Emily reached into a high cupboard, pulled down the box that kept the bandages and medicines, and took out some liniment that she massaged into Daniel's palms. "I imagine you're pretty hungry, too, huh, Cowboy?" she asked Daniel. When she was done putting the liniment on, she told Daniel to tell everyone it was time for dinner and he scurried away.

Nick knocked on the library door and announced dinner, then returned to the parlor where Heath still stood, waiting. Everyone else was walking out to go to the table for dinner.

James ran out of the library towards the dining room, wearing fresh clothes, Jane and Jarrod walking behind him, looking grim, but Jarrod stopped and joined his brothers. He did not look happy.

"Well," he said, "He made a full confession. It was his idea to open the gate and go through. He said Daniel told him you would 'tan his hide' if he did. And it was all James' idea to try and hike down the ridge."

The brothers each shared their understanding of the boys' adventure. James did not come out of the story looking good.

Jarrod sighed. "I don't know what to do," he said, "I can contain his impulses better at home. I don't know whether it's the romance of cowboy life, or the open range, or the lack of routine, but I just can't seem to get it into that thick skull of his that there are strict rules of behavior even on a ran . . . " He stopped and looked at Nick. "Say, Nick, you run this ranch, right?"

"What about it?" Nick replied.

"James wants to be a cowboy. He's on a ranch, you're the boss of that ranch . . . " Jarrod stopped and stared at Nick.

It took Nick a moment to understand what Jarrod was asking. "Oh, no! He's your kid. You discipline him!" he said, holding his palms up.

"But he's disobeying your rules," Jarrod reasoned.

"I think it's a great idea, Nick," said Heath. "We'll put him to work."

Nick groaned and shook his head, then said, "Let eat!"

Jarrod laughed. "That's your solution to everything, isn't it?" he said as the three walked to dining room.

When they entered the dining room, Jarrod announced, "Family? Hello!" and tapped a glass with a spoon to get everyone's attention. When the talking died down, he said, "I may be Pater Familias – for those of you who don't understand Latin, that means the official head of the family – but Uncle Nick here is the boss of this ranch and the master of this house. It is with great honor, therefore, that I offer my seat at the head of this table to him." With a bow and a dramatic sweep of his arm, he pulled the chair out for Nick.

Nick gave him a sidelong glance and sat down at the head of the table, opposite Emily.

Jane sat to Emily's right and whispered, "I think they're up to something," Emily shook her head slowly.

Dinner commenced as though this congregation dined together often; they did not. It was Victoria's death in old age that brought them together physically but it was their sense of family and belonging to each other that bonded them and made the atmosphere comfortable and content.

James and Daniel, together again at the children's table, compared notes on their meetings with their parents and agreed they got off easy. James was not surprised to hear Daniel wasn't going to be punished; after all, he thought, they only went through the gate, nothing worse than that. Daniel wasn't surprised to learn James had suffered nothing more than a lecture from his father.

Audra looked around and tried to imagine her own son sitting at the table with this family. He was a quiet, serious boy, now a young man, really, who would likely find a friend in Will. Audra looked at every person in the room. Her son would like every person in the room, she thought, but it was Heath who seemed most like her son: Quiet and pensive, rather a loner. Her son would be drawn to Heath, she thought. Like Heath, Charles, Jr. could be a lot of fun when he was relaxed and trusted the people he was with. He trusted her, she knew. She stopped a moment and considered how, long ago, she noticed he spoke less in the presence of his father. He didn't seem to be afraid of his father and she knew Charles never struck him. And yet, he would often shut down when his father was in the room. She had always assumed Charles, Jr. was afraid of disappointing his father but now, in a flash of clarity, she wondered if her son knew more than she thought he did. She felt a chill shoot through her body as she considered the possibility that her son knew what went on between his parents.

As dinner wound down and Julia got out of her chair and began visiting various grown ups seated around the table, Jarrod stood and called for a toast. They had toasted mother and grandmother each night and they had raised their glasses to toast themselves as family. Tonight, though, Jarrod proposed a toast to Grace "whose courage and skill brought her cousins home safely."

Everyone in the dining room stood and turned to Grace while they raised their glasses and gave her a cheer.

Then, while everyone was still standing, Jarrod added, "And to Daniel whose intelligence and ingenuity made the rescue possible," and then everyone turned to him, raised their glasses, cheered, and Daniel heard his brother, Tom, shout "Hear! Hear!"

Daniel could hardly believe it. Even his mother and father and his brothers stood and cheered for him. This was as good as his birthday but somehow different, somehow better. It was kind of embarrassing but it also felt good and he was proud of himself for doing the right thing today.

As the dinner party broke up and the teenagers were leaving the room, Jarrod walked over to his own son and said, "As for you, you disobeyed the three rules your Uncle Nick gave you and, as Uncle Nick is the boss of this ranch, I leave your punishment to him."

Jane shot an angered look at Jarrod. She had not been consulted about this and she would not have anyone hit her son. Jarrod ignored her. She was also very upset with what James had done and thought he needed to be disciplined, but by Nick? Sarah approached her, touched her arm, and whispered in her ear. Heath had told Sarah what the punishment was to be. Jane listened and then she smiled a little. She still thought she should have been consulted but she did not disapprove of the punishment.

James went numb with fear and could feel his backside sting already. His Uncle Nick and Uncle Heath stood by the doorway, and Uncle Nick yelled, "Into the barn, Boy! Now!" He gestured toward the barn with him thumb. Even Uncle Heath looked angry.

Daniel had stayed in his chair, watching and listening, trying to believe what was happening when his brother Will suddenly appeared next to him and said, "Come on, let's go play some poker!" Tom and Will had been teaching him the game and he proved to be a fast learner.

James made his legs move, even though the left one was starting to hurt, and started walking slowly towards his uncles. He had only gone a few steps when his father shouted to him, "March!" James walked outside, into the evening air, and over to the barn followed by his uncles, neither of them saying a word.


	22. Chapter 22

Most of the hands were out with the herd. Others were in town; it was Saturday night and they would be gone till late Sunday. A few stayed and they heard everything.

James was made to stand on a chair in the middle of the tack room. His fear was such that he was unable to think clearly and consider what was actually happening. His Uncle Nick, his large, loud, kind of scary Uncle Nick, so different from his own father, stood close, towering over him, hands on hips.

"Boy, who runs this ranch?" Nick's voice boomed and he stood so close James could feel his body vibrate. It was an odd sensation.

"You do," James answered quietly, looking at the floor.

"Damn right, I do! And when I tell ya to do something, you do it! And if I tell ya not to do something, you don't do it! Do I make myself clear?" Nick did not let up on the volume of voice.

"Yes, Sir."

"If I tell ya to stay on the main trail and not go past the south gate, you stay on the main trail and you do not go past the south gate," again, he paused. "You realize you didn't just put yourself in danger, you put Daniel in danger and you put Grace in danger? You could have fallen off that ridge and died! Daniel and Grace might have tumbled down with you. We already buried one Barkley this week and we don't wanna bury any more for a long time."

He went on at full volume. "I got a lotta men and a lotta livestock to manage and I can't have anyone just goin' off and doing whatever they like," he paused. "This is a working ranch and if you were a hired hand, you would be fired."

Nick continued to stand close, hands on hips, and let his words sink in.

James gave no response but he was listening and he was starting to cry.

"This ranch is too big for one man to run on his own," Nick continued, "so I'm not the only boss here. Heath is a boss and if we're not here, Tom and Will are in charge. That means, when we tell ya to do something, you do it."

Nick's voice had lost some its edge and volume and he could see James was thinking about what he was saying.

"I can't fire you 'cause I didn't hire you. You're here because you're family but what you did today was wrong and you gotta be punished for it."

Heath was standing nearby and decided to step in now. Nick was relieved to step aside.

"James," Heath said, his voice calmer but without much warmth to it, "your father has decided Nick and I are in charge of your punishment and we think that since you think bein' a cowboy is so great, we're gonna let you experience life as a hired hand."

"Tomorrow," Heath said, "while the rest of us are having a picnic, you'll stay here and do some of the work that needs to be done. Work the hands do"

James looked up at Heath. This sounded like they didn't plan to take a belt to his backside but it didn't sound good either. He wanted to go on that picnic.

Heath turned to Nick, "What d'you think, Nick? I don't think he's ready for fence mending, but the barn needs scraping and the south pasture needs to be cleared of rocks."

Nick scratched his chin and pursed his lips. "Tomorrow, son," he said in a normal tone, "when we get back from church and everyone else has gone on a picnic, you and me are gonna scrape the barn, and that includes the pig sty, and then we're gonna pick up all the rocks outta the south pasture. Only, you're gonna do it and I'm gonna watch to make sure you do it and do it right" Then he added, "And I'm not gonna be happy to have to miss the picnic." It was a warning.

"You better get back in the house and get yourself ready for bed," Heath said, "'cause you have a long day ahead of you."

James walked slowly out of the barn and toward the house. His encounter with his uncles wasn't as bad as he thought it would be but it wasn't fun, either. It stung that he couldn't go on the picnic and picking up rocks all day didn't sound like a good time. He wondered what "scraping the barn" meant.

Tom had invited Jarrod to join the boys' poker game but Jarrod looked at Daniel and smiled. "No, thanks," he said, "I don't like losing." He apologized to Jane for not discussing James' punishment with her but he didn't regret the outcome. In fact, he thought it was rather clever.

In the billiards room, Sarah sat on the sofa working on some needlepoint while Grace leaned against her, reading a magazine propped up on her knees. Julia, who adored her cousin Grace, had moved her rocking horse closer to the sofa so Grace could see how well she rode. All the Barkley children learned to ride on that horse and every child gave it a different name. Tom and Will, only a year apart in age, used to have terrible fights over it when they were little. At the time, Nick thought they should get another rocking horse but Victoria wisely suggested the boys learn to share.

Nick and Heath followed James into the house through the front door and stopped in the parlor to have a drink. Audra was there with Emily, reading the most recently arrived telegrams and jotting down the senders' names for future thank you cards. She looked up at her brothers and smiled, "Well?" she asked. And they told her what the nephew's punishment was to be.

James found his mother in the billiards room and, ignoring his father and everyone else there, he stood in front of her and informed her that his uncles were making him miss the picnic and were going to make him work and on a Sunday, too. He was hoping she would object and intervene on his behalf.

Instead, she reached out and straightened the third shirt he'd worn that day and said, "That's too bad. Maybe next time, you will do as you are told."

Jarrod and Jane gathered their children to return to the guesthouse for the night. Heath and Sarah told their daughters to get ready to go home, too. Grace, however, chose to stay the night at the big house, as she sometimes did.

Heath left his horse at the stable and climbed into the carriage with Sarah and Leah, making sure to sit between them. Leah was a lot like her mother; quiet but industrious, stubborn and, at times, outspoken, quick-witted. While this made them naturally close, in recent years it had caused them to be very much at odds with each other at times. Heath was frustrated watching the increasing arguments between his wife and daughter.

Tonight, as they rode home, they talked about Grace's heroism. Leah was proud of her sister but she wanted everyone to be proud of her, too, in the same way. Sarah was critical of Leah's lack of enthusiasm regarding her sister and things just deteriorated from there. Heath thought about Jane's suggestion that Leah consider college. Grace would likely prefer to remain on the ranch; she wasn't much interested book learning but Leah was and she was good at it, too. He decided to mention the idea of college to Sarah, then Leah. Soon.

Julia fell asleep quickly after Emily tucked her in. Nick had gone alone to tuck Daniel in so he could tell him all the ways he was proud of him. Emily had told him, "he needs to hear that from you," and Nick agreed, though he admitted to himself he wouldn't have thought of it on his own.

Emily went to say good night to Carrie. Carrie was in her nightgown, blond curls falling almost to her waist. As she got into bed she said, "Mother, I miss Grandma and, well, it's been nice having the cousins here and Uncle Jarrod and Aunt Jane and especially Aunt Audra and Vicky and Ellie are really nice and we're having a good time but I keep remembering why they're all here and I don't think we're being very respectful of Grandma."

Emily sat on the bed, smiled at the very long and breathless statement, and asked her to explain a little more. Emily was very familiar with grief. She was a widow at 22, her young husband having died a sudden, tragic death. She knew personal sorrow and she knew the rules and expectations others place on the appearance of mourning. Both had nearly cost her the life and love she now enjoyed.

"Well," Carrie said, "the picnic and the celebrating tonight aren't proper mourning."

Emily nodded. "Caroline, everyone grieves differently and it is perfectly natural for you not to want to do 'fun' things because you are sad about Grandma and everyone will understand. But life does go on; babies are born, flowers bloom, the sun continues to shine. Your grandmother would not want you to spend all of your days sad because she died, I am sure of that. Sometimes, people will think you're not grieving enough and other times they'll wonder why you're so gloomy. Don't let over people's rules tell you how to feel."

Carrie considered that her mother was saying. Emily stood and said, "I know you're grieving. We're all grieving and I think you should expect to get a lot sadder as the days pass and your heart begins to truly understand that Grandma is gone forever." She leaned down, kissed her daughter, and started to leave.

"Mother?" Emily stopped and turned around. "Vicky's going to ask Aunt Jane if I can come stay with them in San Francisco for a little bit. If she says 'Yes' can I go?"

"We'll see," Emily said. She still didn't like the idea of a fourteen-year-old riding the train alone.

Next, Emily peeked in on Grace in the small guest room she always slept in, the room referred to as "Grace's room." Grace was in bed, not quite asleep, and picked her head up off the pillow when the door opened. Emily walked over to her, gave her a kiss on the cheek, rubbed the girl's back, and shook her head, "You are really something, Grace," she said. "Your parents are so proud of you - I'm proud of you, too - but I thought your mother and father were going to burst wide open tonight." Grace giggled a little bit and put her head back on the pillow to sleep.

Walking past the guestroom on her way to join Nick in theirs, she stopped in the open doorway to say good night to Audra but Audra wasn't there. The lamps were all lit and as she peered around, her heart skipped a beat as she realized the trunks and bags were missing. For one terrifying moment, she thought Audra had slipped away and returned to Seattle and Charles.

"Emily!" Audra said warmly, walking up behind her in the hallway.

"Oh, Audra! You gave me quite a scare! Where are all your bags?"

Audra entered the room and gestured towards a corner. "Why, I put them over here after I unpacked and put my clothes away" She studied Emily's face and realized what Emily had been thinking. She stepped towards her and took her hands in hers. "Emily, I'm not sure what's going to happen and I don't like not knowing but I can't go back to him now." She paused. "I'm not sure I will ever be ready go back to him."

"Audra, think about what happened today. You were an enormous help with Jane and then helping stitch up our little cowboy." They both laughed. "I really do need you here and I am so glad you've decided to stay. I'm glad for me, I'm glad for you. I am especially glad for Carrie and Julia because they absolutely adore you."

Audra and Emily embraced and kissed. After Emily left, Audra thought, it feels good to be truly needed and useful.

Walking down the hall, Emily realized Audra would be the perfect escort for a fourteen-year-old girl on a train. She smiled as she also considered that direct exposure to Jane's suffragist politics would likely spell the blessed end of Audra's marriage to that man.


	23. Chapter 23

Emily closed the bedroom door without making a sound and smiled triumphantly at Nick who sat in his chair, glass of whisky in his hand, his feet propped up in her rocking chair.

"What?"

Emily moved closer and whispered, "Audra has unpacked all her bags and says she doesn't know if she'll ever be able to return to Charles."

Nick smiled. Then he sighed with relief.

She went and sat on the edge of the bed and began removing her boots and stockings.

"Did Daniel have anything more to say about today?" she asked.

"Huh?" Nick was preoccupied; watching her in the light of the few lamps lit low around the room. "Oh, uh, no, but I think he was happy to hear me tell him again how proud I am."

Emily bent over and moved the boots and stockings under the bed, and then she sat up and looked at Nick. "I don't think a boy can hear that too many times from his father and that goes double for Daniel."

She stood and walked over to her vanity where she pulled all the pins out of her hair and finger combed the curly locks so they would complete their fall down her back and around her shoulders and breasts.

She unbuttoned the bodice to her black dress, removed it, and hung it on a peg in the wardrobe next to the vanity. Next, she dropped the skirt to the floor and stepped out of it, then hung it next to the bodice. She did the same with several white petticoats. Next, she unhooked her corset in the front and laid it on the floor of the wardrobe and closed the wardrobe's door. Finally, she removed her pantaloons and placed them in a basket next the wardrobe. She was wearing only a short, thin chemise and was reaching for her flannel nightgown when Nick said, "Em?" She turned around and was surprised to realize he was watching her.

"Em," he repeated, beckoning her towards him with two fingers of his right hand. When she was near enough, he reached out to her and pulled her onto his lap and they kissed.

She shifted her weight and Nick reached under her thigh and pulled her leg across his lap so that she sat straddled on top of him. The narrow chemise had pulled up and no longer covered much of anything that mattered. As she leaned in for another kiss, he groaned.

"You know, Cowboy," she said, her lips still on his, muffling her words, "you have a long, hard, "she paused and smiled on his lips, "day ahead of you supervising one small but troublesome cowboy. Best not to stay up too late."

Nick pulled his face back from hers and smiled. "Is that so? It just so happens that Tom, you know, the first child you gave me, offered to supervise the little stinker so I could go on the picnic with you." He started nibbling on her ear.

"That was most considerate of him. Remind me to thank him in the morning."

Nick took his feet off the rocking chair and made to stand up with her still straddling him but it was an effort. It was a big effort.

"Nick, please, don't hurt yourself. I don't think - Honey, please," and she slid off of his lap, standing in front of him.

He grimaced slightly as he stood up but then faced her down, with mock intimidation. "Don't think I can do it, huh?"

Before she could respond, he picked her up, carried her to the far side of the bed, and threw her down on it, and himself upon her, seemingly all in one, easy motion.

"Nick," she giggled, "I take it all back."

~BBB~

Bertie and Florence didn't work for the family on Sundays and generally left early on Saturdays, as well. Sunday breakfast was Emily's job and on this day Jane and Leah helped while Carrie and the other girls started getting the picnic ready.

The meal was uneventful except that Julia repeatedly spilled her milk, which irritated Daniel and Carrie especially and for which Nick scolded them when they complained. James was unusually quiet.

Following breakfast, the entire family set off for church. Neither Nick nor Emily were particularly devout but church was an obligatory social function and on this day their appearance signaled to the congregants that they were ready to receive condolence visits. Also, Sunday school was one of the few times Julia got to be with other children close to her own age. It was often an education for her parents, as well.

Following the service, congregants offering their sympathies swarmed the family. Even friends and acquaintances that attended churches of other denominations came to pay their respects to the family of Victoria Barkley.

On the ride home, Emily held Julia in her lap on the front seat of the surrey, next to Nick, who held the reins, and asked her what she learned in Sunday school that morning.

"We learned how Jesus did magic and made bread and fish for lots of people and I bit Joseph."

Nick laughed out loud.

"You bit Joseph?" Emily asked, not laughing or even smiling. Julia nodded her head. "Why did you bite Joseph?" she asked with resignation. This was not the first altercation the little darling had had with Joseph.

"He took my pencil," she answered.

"Did ya draw blood?" Nick asked.

"No, but he screamed." The little girl gave a little scream to demonstrate.

"Julia, you should never bite anyone. If Joseph is bothering you, you need to tell Miss Patterson or another grown up," Emily told her.

"I think Julia's sweet on Joseph," Nick said, and turned around and smiled at her.

"What did Miss Patterson do? Emily asked, trying to ignore Nick's teasing and have a serious chat with the four-year-old about hurting other people.

"She made us say 'I'm sorry' and then Joseph hugged me."

Nick did a double take at his young daughter and said, "I think Joseph is sweet on you!"

"No, he's not!" Julia said it with such vehemence that Emily looked at her husband and said she thought maybe he was right the first time.

After they arrived home, Sunday clothes were changed for a long afternoon in the California sunshine. Picnic and fishing supplies were loaded into the surrey and those who weren't riding in the carriage saddled up their horses.

Julia could barely contain her excitement while her father cinched the saddle on Theo, the gelding he named after Theodore Roosevelt, an up and comer on the national political scene and a man whose books Nick enjoyed a great deal. He lifted the small girl up into the saddle and she held tight to the horn just as she had described to her aunt two days before. Nick mounted, sitting behind her, took the reins and off they went at a good canter.

Audra and Emily watched them go as they, too, saddled up: Audra on Juniper and Emily on Franz, the Morgan horse Nick gave her for their tenth wedding anniversary, named after Franz Liszt, her favorite composer.

"He really has a soft spot for her, doesn't he?" said Audra.

"Yep, and, boy howdy, does she know it!" Emily replied, laughing.

James was outfitted in another set of Will's old clothes and his leg wrapped with thick bandages. After he and Tom helped everyone saddle up, Tom lead him back into the barn so James could learn the how to scrape a barn properly.

Jarrod walked behind his son and stood and watched as Tom handed the boy one of the smaller shovels. Tom explained to the silent boy, whose eyes were growing wide, that his job for the day was to shovel all the accumulated mix of hay, manure, and animal urine and place it in a wheelbarrow, then push the wheelbarrow to the compost heap out in back of the barn and deposit the contents there. The cows were in a pasture and Tom said he would move the pigs out of their sty so James could clean that out, as well.

"Before you begin," Jarrod said, and he turned to James, "I expect to get a good report from Tom when I come back from the picnic. I expect you to do everything he tells you to the very best of your ability. You have to learn to listen and obey instructions at all times and that includes when you are on this ranch. Any further defiance of the rules and I will put you over my knee and make sure you cannot sit for week." Then he abruptly turned and left, got on his horse and rode to catch up with the rest of the family. Although knew his father to discipline by lecture and occasional confinement to his room, James knew two things for certain: His father was really angry this time and his father was always true to his word. James felt bad to the pit of his stomach and he knew it wasn't the overwhelming stench that was making him sick.

Once his father was out of view, James looked at Tom, searching for some indication that this was really all a show for the grown ups and they were just going to have fun but he saw none. Tom climbed and sat on a railing and waited for James to begin. "You can dilly dally all day long if you want but this barn needs to be scraped clean before they all come back from the picnic or I think you're gonna catch hell from your father and from mine," he said. James started shoveling at the spot where Tom had placed the wheelbarrow.


	24. Chapter 24

An expanse of soft new grass, close to a stream, was the chosen spot for the picnic. The children unloaded the carriage and spread out the blankets, anchoring the corners with rocks. Food was unpacked and placed in the middle of the blankets. Even Julia helped.

Heath and Sarah walked to the edge of the stream, talking, while Nick, Will, and Daniel unloaded the fishing gear and walked a short distance upstream to find a good spot. Then they immediately returned to the blankets for food, leaving the gear to mark the spot for their afternoon activity.

It was a warm sunny day and the weather, combined with the informality of a picnic, had everybody relaxed and enjoying themselves. Jarrod caught up with the party not long after and sat with Jane to eat lunch. Julia was especially glad that the normal rules of sitting in one place did not apply and she kept getting up and walking around the outside of the circle of family, food in hand, and stopping to visit with various people. Without James at his side, Daniel was made a little more vulnerable to his little sister's attentions and the two engaged in some minor squabbles; one or both their parents intervening to prevent any all-out battles.

Wet manure is heavy and James worked every muscle of his 10-year-old body to lift each shovelful into the wheelbarrow. Pushing the wheelbarrow, however, was almost too much for him. He managed to get one load out to the compost heap but Tom could see the effort would also wear the boy out in no time at all. As it was, he figured the boy wasn't making good enough time to finish scraping the barn and clear the field of rocks.

"Tell you what, Kid," Tom said, "I'll take the wheelbarrow out to the heap and we'll save the field for another day."

"I have to do this all by myself," James said, almost frantic, "or I'll get whipped!"

Tom stood and considered, then said, "I'll talk to my father. He'll understand." Watching his young cousin, Tom thought scraping the barn was a big enough job to get the point across to the child. With the job ahead looking a little more manageable now, James set to scraping the barn with renewed energy and intention.

Jarrod, Nick, and Nick's two sons, Will and Daniel, sat lined up along the river, having some success at hooking fish. "What about you, Daniel?" Jarrod asked, "What do you want to do when you grow up?"

Daniel had never really given it much thought. He guessed he would work on the ranch.

"You know," Will said to his brother, choosing his words carefully, "going off to college doesn't mean you have to be gone for good. You could study engineering and bring that learning back to help the business."

Nick knew the comment was more his benefit than for Daniel's and stopped to think about what the future might hold for his sons and for the ranch. He considered that perhaps it wasn't all up to him how things turned out.

Grace gave lessons in tossing a lasso to Audra, Jane, Vicky, and Ellie. This involved a lot of laughing. Julia had also played with a rope with great enthusiasm but was soon asleep with her head on her mother's lap.

Leah and Carrie already knew how to throw a lasso and weren't much interested anyway. They had been away from school and friends for several days now since their grandmother died and they found themselves talking about mutual friends and upcoming social events. Neither girl ever felt they had much in common with the other before this. All the same, they did know each other very well.

"Leah?" Sarah said. Leah turned her attention from Carrie to her mother. "Have you ever thought about going to college?" In fact, Leah had, but she wasn't sure she wanted to and she wasn't sure how her parents would respond if she talked to them about it. And, at fourteen, there was plenty of time to decide.

Heath sat close to Sarah, on the edge of the blanket and smiled at his daughter, "Your mother and I think it might be a good thing for you to think about."

"Leah!" Carrie said, "I think it's a great idea for you! You're always reading about something. You could become a teacher or even a doctor. You could write a book about plants."

"Your Aunt Jane has offered to have you come to San Francisco and look into it," Sarah said.

Carrie was crushed. She wanted to go to San Francisco, too. Why didn't Aunt Jane invite her? Her mother didn't seem very warm to the idea when she mentioned it the night before, however. Maybe, she thought, Aunt Jane had talked to her about it and she said no, her daughter couldn't possibly go to San Francisco. Her mother just didn't understand that there was more to the world that this silly old ranch. Maybe her mother and Aunt Jane didn't think she was good enough for San Francisco. Well, they were just old ladies who were stuck in their ways. She then stood up and joined the lasso lesson, making sure to stand close to her Aunt Audra.

As the afternoon wore on, the ranch hands not out with the herd started drifting back from town. Several stopped to watch James, who had the majority of the barn scraped. His body was more exhausted than he'd ever known it could be, and his determination was starting to flag when one of the hands called out to him, asking him what he'd done to "piss off the bosses."

"He didn't follow orders and went did as he liked," Tom explained, "and got himself and Daniel lost and in danger."

Another hand, a muscular, suntanned cowboy, an actual, honest-to-goodness cowboy, looked at James and said, "Oh, no, Boy! If Nick Barkley or Heath Barkley tell you to do somethin', you do it and if'n they tell you not to do something, then, for Christ's sake, don't do it!" At that, James set out anew to finish his task and make sure that barn was scraped clean.

By the time the family made it back from the picnic, the sun was laying low in the sky, and James had scraped the entire barn, pig sty included, down to its dirt floor. The hands were hauling hay down from the loft and the cows, pregnant, nursing, and cows for milking were coming in from their pasture.

The day's catch was left outside the kitchen door and all Barkley men, Will and Daniel included, headed out to the barn while Sarah and Audra cleaned the fish. Tom explained to his father that there wasn't time to clear the field of rocks but said nothing about himself hauling the wheelbarrow out to the heap. He didn't think it would matter to his father but it mattered to James: He was very grateful.

"Ya did good son," Nick told James, and patted him on the shoulder. It was all he said though he was impressed by the job the child had done. Daniel stood on a fence rail, leaning over, and exclaimed, "Wow!" at the site of the barn.

"Uncle Nick, Uncle Heath," James said, "I will never, ever, go against your orders again." He meant it. He was also covered in manure and sweat and Jarrod told him to go get cleaned up for dinner.

Daniel was glad to have James back at his side at the table, even if he wasn't too happy about eating fried fish – or any kind of fish – for dinner. Julia, on the other hand, loved fish and this was a lucky thing for Daniel as he sat next to her and kept scooping his fish over onto her plate. He and James were highly amused as she continued to eat, unaware that her helpings never seemed to diminish. The two boys poked each other's ribs and laughed together the rest of the evening.


	25. Chapter 25

James slept very well Sunday night. And in the morning, the family gathered for breakfast and discussed plans for the week. Jarrod and his family needed to get back to San Francisco; Jarrod needed to return to work and Jane felt the children needed to get back to school and their routine. Jarrod and Jane discussed it between them at the table and agreed they would return Wednesday morning.

Nick and Heath needed to attend to the branding, something that had been postponed because of their mother's death. They agreed they would do some of it today and tend to the rest as time allowed for the rest of the week. Tom and Will would help.

The Stockton Barkley children were encouraged but not pushed to get back to school and routine. None, not even Leah, were eager to return just yet. Audra wanted to go to town and mail a letter to her son. She also wanted to send a telegram to him.

Audra always wrote a letter to her son on Sunday afternoon, telling him about events she and his father attended, any travel plans, and books she was reading. The night before she had composed a letter to him, telling him about his grandmother's funeral and her decision to stay on the ranch and help Emily run the household, at least for a time. She also described the boys' adventure on the High Ridge and Grace's heroism and all about the picnic. But letters could take as much as two weeks to reach the East Coast and Audra wasn't even sure Charles, Jr. knew his grandmother had died; she thought a telegram was in order so he would at least know where his mother was.

Carrie had heard no more about Leah visiting the cousins in San Francisco but she had been terse with her mother the night before when she came to say good night. She hoped she would at least be allowed to accompany her aunt Audra to town this morning. In the end, she did get to go to town with her but her mother came with them.

Sarah stayed at the house with Jane. Vicky and Leah helped with some household chores and looked after Julia while Ellie joined Grace, Daniel, and James clearing the south field of rocks. Jarrod worked in the library.

Emily looked behind at the house as she drove the buggy past the gate and the guesthouse. "Audra?" she asked, "How would you like to take Carrie and Leah to San Francisco?"

"Well, "Audra started, "I'm not sure, when were . . . I mean, why are they going to San Francisco?" Audra was only just getting accustomed to the notion of being on the ranch and now she was being asked to consider this.

"Oh, not right away, of course," Emily said, trying to minimize the importance of the trip for the girls. "It's just that Jane thought it would be nice to have Carrie and Leah visit the city and get some exposure to high culture. I think it's a wonderful idea but I think fourteen is too young to ride the train alone and it might be fun for you, too."

"Aunt Audra, please?" Carrie pleaded. Audra smiled at her and said she would love to go with the girls but not quite yet.

Carrie could hardly believe it. She had won her battle to go to San Francisco without even trying. Even better, Aunt Jane had wanted her to go after all, something, she thought bitterly, her mother never even mentioned to her.

Once in town, Emily and Carrie stopped at the dry goods store to pick up staples for the kitchen. They also stopped at Schaeffer's store and bought several yards of black cloth; the women would be wearing mourning for weeks, months, to come.

Audra mailed her letter and then she went to the telegraph office. There she wired her son the following message: IN CALI GRNDMA DEAD stop WILL STAY 2 HELP NCK EM stop. Audra couldn't think of how to end her message so she simply wrote ALL MY LOVE, MTHR. Stop.

Lunch was quieter that day with Nick, Heath, and the two oldest boys off at branding. Jarrod once again sat at the head of the table. The talk was mainly about the girls' trip to San Francisco and the things they might do there. Audra noted none of this was a surprise to Jarrod but she worried that perhaps Grace would also like to go along. She looked at Jane and gestured over to Heath and Sarah's youngest.

"Grace, you are more than welcome to come, as well, if you like," Jane said.

Grace, however, had no particular interest in going to museums or shows or any of that. "Oh, uh, thank you, Aunt Jane," she said, "maybe some other time."

Julia got down from her chair and walked over to her mother and stated that she wanted to go to San Francisco with Aunt Audra, too. She may have meant her words to be heard only by her mother but everyone else heard.

Jarrod smiled and said, "Julia, you have a standing invitation to come to San Francisco, ride the cable cars, and visit the sites in exactly ten years. Of course, by that time, I expect Grace will be running the ranch and you'll be her right hand man."

Everyone at the table laughed at that except Emily who excused herself and left the room, taking Julia with her. Looks were exchanged in her wake but no comment was made.

After lunch, James and Daniel were given permission to go riding with Grace with Jarrod being particularly emphatic with his son to stay on the main trails and out of trouble.

Nick and Heath arrived back at the house by mid-afternoon; Tom and Will stayed out and took a ride together. Nick went to change his shirt and found his wife and youngest daughter lying on the bed, Emily was sleeping and Julia was singing to herself. She was so engrossed in her song, she didn't notice her father enter the room.

"Hiya, Punkin," Nick whispered. Julia's cried "Papa!" and Emily stirred. Nick pressed his finger to his lips to tell Julia to be quiet and sat on her side of the bed, which was his side, while he removed his dirty, sweaty shirt. It was Julia's effort to move over on the bed to be close to him that woke Emily.

She propped herself up on her elbows and asked Nick what time it was. He answered and told his little girl to get him a fresh shirt from the drawer, pointing to it. He kept his back to his wife who sat up a moment before getting off the bed and rinsing her face with water from the pitcher atop a bureau.

Emily turned to face him, or rather, face his back. "Audra said she would escort the girls to San Francisco," she told him. Nick said nothing but put on his fresh shirt and then his vest as Julia handed them to him. When he was done, he stood and picked Julia up, placing her feet on his as he walked her to the door. It was a fun game they played.

"Julia, your mother and I need to talk. Why don't you go see if you can help Aunt Audra." He didn't actually know what Audra was doing at the moment or if she needed any help or company but he knew it was likely the only bait strong enough to get the child to leave without a fuss.

After she was gone, Nick closed the door and turned to Emily who remained standing in front of the bureau. "I thought I made it clear I don't want Carrie going off to San Francisco."

"And I don't see why it should even be an issue," Emily said.

"Em, I don't wanna have the same discussion we had last night."

"Neither do I," she replied, "since it clearly didn't get us anywhere. I just don't understand what the objection is."

"I told you: She's too young and I don't want her head filled with all kinds of notions."

"Notions about what? About fashion? Art?" Emily narrowed her eyes. "Education? Votes for women?" That was a jab. Victoria had been ardently in favor of votes for women and her sons followed her lead on the issue, though Nick needed some convincing; he didn't completely understand why women needed to vote.

He sat down on the edge of the bed and stared at the pattern on the rug. He said nothing.

"Nick, you can't control your children's destinies anymore than you can dictate their personalities." They were both silent a long time before Emily spoke again, softly. "I think this is less about Carrie going to San Francisco and more about Will." She stopped; he was listening, thinking. That was a good sign. "Smart as he is, Daniel seems more interested in ranching than Will and, frankly, why can't Grace help run it, too? She loves ranching and no one's better on a horse, even if she is a girl. God knows she's smart. Why, we may even make a rancher out of James," she added for levity.

Nick smiled and chuckled at that. Then he shook his head and looked at her, serious again, "I just don't like the idea."

"Which one, Nick? Carrie riding on a cable car and going to the symphony? Or Will going to college and doing something other than ranching with his life? Or maybe you don't like the notion of a woman riding herd?"

She had pushed as far as she dared. He got up from the bed forcefully and crossed the room to stare out a window. The two stood in silence for a long time before Nick turned around and asked, "Just why does she have to go to San Francisco?"

"Because she's a young lady who thinks she's stuck on a ranch when there's a great big world out there she wants to see. Because she hasn't the temperament to imagine it, like Daniel does, it has to be shown to her; through museums, and theatre, and watching people on the street."

"She's too young!"

"Nick, she's not moving there for good and we're not sending her out on her own. It's only for a week or two and, God knows, she would be closely supervised by three people who would have her best interest at heart."

Nick scowled and said, "All right, then. She can go." He started to leave the room.

"Nick?" He stopped and looked at her. She wanted to ask him if he was really that fearful that his children were growing up, that his daughter was a young lady now who could be married and a mother within the next ten years. Or maybe he was he afraid his daughter would catch the eye of a wealthy older man who would mistreat her. Maybe, she wondered, his mother's death had him thinking of his own mortality.

"Never mind," she said, and she followed him downstairs to join the others.


	26. Chapter 26

Except for Grace, who was out riding with James and Daniel, the girls were in the guesthouse, planning their time in San Francisco, though nothing, including the date, had been finalized.

Julia found her Aunt Audra in the parlor reading a book and asked her about it. Audra was happy to oblige and soon the two were sitting side by side, sharing stories. Julia learned about being on an ocean ship, places where people spoke different languages, and music bands that had more violins than she was able to count. Audra learned from Julia that Tom was bossy, Will was nice because he played games with her, Carrie was nice because she played school with her, and Daniel was a "bother." She also learned that Momma and Papa (for those were their names, of course) kissed on the lips and laughed when they rode horses together. Audra wondered what her son would say about his parents.

Jarrod emerged from the library when he heard Nick and Emily talking with Audra and soon Nick was asking his brother about the girls' proposed trip to San Francisco. Jarrod assured him that the girls would be supervised and chaperoned at all times.

"Frankly, Nick, I don't what you're worried about. My daughters live in the city and they're never in any danger, I assure you."

"I know, I know," Nick said. He was still uncomfortable with the idea.

"I think Nick is concerned because this is about his pretty daughter and he's afraid she's growing up. Soon she'll be a beautiful woman. Nick," Audra offered. Emily had held her tongue and was relieved someone else, and especially Audra, had called Nick out on this.

Nick looked at Emily for her response to Audra's comment but she appeared distracted by Jane bringing in a coffee tray and leaned over to clear the table for it.

"Nick, Ol' Boy, we're getting older and our children are growing up," Jarrod said. "Best we give them all the experiences we can while they're still under our guidance."

Nick groaned the groan of defeat, his shoulders sagging ever so slightly, and poured himself a whisky.

Heath and Sarah came in the front door not long after and they were chatting together, enjoying each other.

"What have you two been up to?" Emily asked them.

Heath put his hat on the table and strolled over to the table where Nick stood, the one that had the liquor. "Just takin' a walk, lookin' at the new horses." Sarah joined the other women, taking a seat by the low table.

Heath reported that Tom and Will had returned from their ride and were doing some barn chores, but he hadn't see Grace and the two younger boys. There was silence for a moment.

"You don't suppose . . ." Jarrod started.

"Nah,' said Nick, "Not if Grace is with them." Nick heard his own words and knew their significance. He knew in that moment how much he trusted Grace to know her limits and do the right thing. Maybe, he thought, there was a place for her in helping to run the ranch when the time came. He'd have to think more on that later.

Jane smiled at Sarah. "Grace seems wise beyond her years. I think she's wonderful. Leah, too, of course, but Grace has such a connection to this ranch."

"Both our daughters are precious to us," Sarah said, "but they are very different people."

"Amen to that!" said Heath.

Dinner was delayed that night only because James and Daniel caught a gopher snake on their adventure; its presence caused some excitement among the girls until Emily found it a temporary home in a barrel outside of the house. The boys had a lot of fun on their ride and James especially was full of excited chatter about it. Nothing, apparently, had gone amiss during the afternoon but as dinner drew to a close they began arguing in a loud volley of "Does so!" and "Does not!"

"Hey, you two! Stop it!" Nick yelled, turning around in his chair at the head of the table. They stopped.

"Papa," said Daniel, "James doesn't believe that girls shoot guns. I told him Momma shoots and he called me a liar, says ladies don't have guns."

Jarrod spoke up to set the record straight, explaining that, yes, some ladies do shoot guns.

Emily offered that their grandmother insisted she know how to shoot a rifle.

"Did you ever kill anyone, Aunt Emily?" James asked. Nick and Heath burst out laughing.

"She banged up that tree pretty good, though," said Heath.

After dinner, Nick went to find the spare key to the gun cabinet, fearing the boys might just decide to play with firepower deadlier than Daniel's .22 rifle. He couldn't find it and his panic was barely containable. He had a key, Heath had a key, and now the spare was missing. The boys were outside racing up and down the driveway and he made them stop. He demanded they hand over the key but they denied knowing anything about it.

"What was all that about?" Emily asked him when he came storming back into the house. She was helping clean up the kitchen, a full white apron over her black dress. Nick told her the spare key to the gun cabinet was missing. She smiled and pulled it out of the apron's pocket. "I did this the other day," then she winked at him and went back into the kitchen.

The following day, while Nick and Heath and the older boys were out with the herd, Emily and Jane took the children out to visit their grandmother's grave. Jarrod came, as well; Sarah elected to stay home.

Like her husband, Sarah was intensely private. Emily was her friend and she was happy to help when needed, but she liked her smaller home tucked away on a wooded hillside far away from the constant activity of the ranch. She and Emily both savored time alone; Sarah had more opportunity than Emily did.

Emily stood a distance from the gathering at the gravesite, simply observing and letting herself feel the loss of Victoria. Carrie walked over to her and put her arm around her mother's waist. "Momma, you were right. She's been gone almost a full week now and it almost hurts more now than it did a week ago." Emily nodded her head.

The boys spent the late afternoon exploring the nearby woods and, on Grace's insistence, let their snake go to find a home near the creek. James remained keenly aware of his own actions; he did not want to break any more rules and he sure didn't want to suffer any more consequences. Earlier, he suggested they take Daniel's rifle and hunt rabbit but Daniel said he would have to get his father's permission first and the subject was dropped. James soon forgot about the rifle and had fun anyway. He even almost enjoyed the afternoon barn chores he did with Daniel.

Sarah returned to the big white house for the last dinner the whole family would have together for awhile. Once again, glasses were raised to toast mother and grandmother. And each other. Tomorrow, Jarrod and his family would leave for San Francisco and life on the ranch would need to settle into a new routine without its matriarch.

The evening was quiet. Vicky played the piano while the others girls talked quietly in the parlor and most of the grown ups read and played cards in the billiards room.

Emily however sat in the parlor, apart from the girls, quietly reading to Julia when Carrie approached her. Emily looked up from the book.

"Momma? How did you and Papa meet? I know you said Aunt Audra invited you to the ranch with some other people and that he was rude to you at first and you said you were rude right back at him."

"Like Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy," Ellie offered.

Emily chuckled a bit. "Well, not exactly. How I came to marry Nick Barkley would hardly compare with the plot of a Jane Austen novel."

Ellie said, "Our parents met at a ball and they say it was love at first sight. They say they were struck by the same lightning bolt!"

Emily smiled, remembering when Jarrod first met Jane. She wasn't there but from his reports it was obvious that he was smitten with her and she with him. Emily recalled the deep relief and content of the family when Jarrod found love again. Victoria had been especially happy for him and thought he and Jane were very well matched. And, as it turned out, they were. Jane became a Barkley with grace and ease; she deferred to Victoria, befriended Emily and Sarah, and held her own in any debate. Jarrod's esteem for his wife was plain and they forged an impressive partnership, publicly as well as privately.

Nick walked into the parlor and said, "Please excuse the interruption, ladies, I need to get some liqueur for Aunt Audra," and opened a cabinet door.

"Father? When you met Momma, was it love at first sight?"

"What? Oh, uh, yeah." Bottle in one hand, he walked over and stood next to Carrie, put his other hand on the small of her back, and looked at Emily. "It was for me, but I thought she was too good for me." He bent down and kissed his wife on the lips, then said, "Still do" and smiled at her. She smiled back at him. Then he kissed Julia on the forehead. He straightened up again and looked down at his older daughter. "Any man who wants my permission to marry you will have to be as handsome and gallant as me." And, with that, he kissed Carrie's cheek and walked back to the billiards room.

Uncle Nick was hardly the stuff of his teenage nieces' romantic dreams. They appreciated his paternal sentiment but were at a loss to understand the romantic attraction between Uncle Nick and Aunt Emily.

But Julia understood. "Momma, when I grow up, I'm going to marry Papa."


	27. Chapter 27

Heath and Sarah and their daughters had said their good-byes to Jarrod and his family the night before and would not be returning to the main house for breakfast. Instead, Heath would be heading out to the herd and Sarah and her daughters returning to their usual routines of school and housework.

The surrey carriage was hitched and loaded with luggage before breakfast so Jarrod and his family could make better time in getting to town and catching the morning train to San Francisco once breakfast was over.

Amid the embraces and farewells on the front porch of the house, Carrie and Vicky talked about seeing each other in a few weeks and promised to write in the meantime. James and Daniel also made plans; plans to hunt rabbits the next time James came out to the ranch. Jarrod rolled his eyes at Nick at hearing this and knew a stern lecture on gun safety would be in his future.

Nick drove the surrey with Will and James traveling behind in the buckboard. Will might have gone straight to the feed and supply store once he got to town but James wanted to ride along with him and he needed to be deposited at the station to join his family. They talked about ranching on the way in to town. Will was amused by his cousin's juvenile notions of what went into running a ranch, all roping and branding and breaking horses, and tried to impress on him the routine, daily labors that could never be overlooked. In the telling, Will knew he loved the ranch but he also knew he wanted more. He just wasn't sure what that was.

The farewells at the station were brief. Nick was distracted and eager to get back to work though he did take time to tell James he did good work and should come out to the ranch again soon. He thought about giving him another brief lecture about following orders but decided to save it for another time.

Later, Nick and Will loaded up the buckboard with the needed supplies and Nick started for home while Will collected the mail and then the telegrams which continued to arrive in the wake of the news of Victoria's death.

Back home, they unloaded the supplies with the help of a few hands and headed into the house to deposit the mail, have a little coffee and grab some jerky before riding out to the herd. Riding in silence for several minutes, Nick looked over at his son and said, "So, ah, you wanna look into going to college?" To Will, the question seemed to come out of the clear blue sky and it startled him, but Nick had been thinking a lot about what his wife and his brother had said to him.

Neither Carrie nor Daniel felt inclined to go to school that day and Emily indulged them. Tomorrow, however, they would return to school and on this day, they would tend to chores: Daniel to cleaning the chicken coop and weeding the vegetable garden and Carrie to weeding Grandma's rose garden and doing some of the mending which had sat wanting attention for over a week.

Emily stood in the parlor and sorted through the mail and the telegrams. Those that were clearly about the ranch went on the desk in the library for Nick to answer and Audra and herself would answer those addressed to the grieving family. Midway through the handful of telegrams she stopped. Holding the one telegram in her hand, she called Audra's name and followed her response to the dining room where Julia was helping her pretty aunt straighten the tablecloth.

As Emily handed the telegram to Audra, they looked at each other but said nothing. Audra opened the telegram and scanned through it quickly. Emily watched her expression soften from concern and worry to a gentle smile.

"It's from Charles, Junior," she said as she sat down at the table to read it again. Emily sat down, too, and continued to watch her. Julia climbed onto a chair so that she could be sitting at the table with the women.

"Emily, he says, 'Father here soon STOP Pls stay in Cali STOP I will write STOP Love C.'

"I don't understand. Charles is on his way to Connecticut? New York?" Emily thought it odd that Charles, Junior would tell his mother to stay in California but she didn't know how to ask about it. Perhaps, she thought, he didn't want his mother returning to an empty house in Seattle but she sensed there was more to it.

"Charles had no plans to go to New York and he usually tells me when he has to travel without me." Audra's eyes were filling with tears when she looked back up at Emily. "Oh, Emily, I'm so afraid that Charles, Junior shares his father's feelings for me!"

Emily moved from her chair and stood beside her sister-in-law, her arm around her shoulder, holding her close, while Audra let her tears flow.

Emily felt a familiar tug on her skirt and looked down. "Momma? Why is Aunt Audra crying? Did her Grandma die, too?"

Emily pulled out the chair next to Audra's and lifted the child onto her lap. "No, Julia," she reached out to touch Audra's arm, "it's going to be all right because Aunt Audra's going to stay with us and we're going to love her and take care of her, right?" She kissed the top of Julia's head and Audra smiled.

~BBB~

Over the days that followed, the family fell back into its routines of ranch and school and home. Audra's presence helped to ease Victoria's painfully felt absence and Nick was pleased to see his sister regain some of the spark she'd had when they were younger. She spoke up a bit more and was less inclined to ask and simply do; she was no longer acting so much like a guest in the house. Riding Juniper around the ranch seemed to revitalize her.

A letter from Charles, Junior arrived several days after the telegram and Audra read it in her room and didn't mention it to anyone until a few days later.

 _Dearest Loving Mother,_

 _Please know how very disconsolate I am to hear of your mother's passing. I recall you speaking often and fondly of her and cannot fathom the grief you are enduring. Father informed me you had gone to California for the funeral and that you plan to stay on at the ranch to help Aunt Emily in what I remember you describing as a large house filled with much activity at all times. With five children and the person you have described as your brother Nick I imagine you and Aunt Emily have enough to distract you at times from your grief._

 _I am very glad and much relieved to know you are surrounded by family who love you dearly. You deserve that. You deserve to always be shown love and tenderness. Please forgive me if my words seem blunt and forward but I feel I must take the opportunity of this time to share with you my heartfelt sentiment. I know I am not an adult though I am no longer the child who went away to school those years ago and I have learned much in that time which I feel must be spoken here._

 _You were so sad when I went away to school but I was glad to go. I could not have articulated to you at the time why I felt the way I did but I think I have some understanding now. You know of my friend George, I have written to you about him before, as he and his family have taken me in for some of the school holidays. Mother, I watch George's parents and they are tender with each other and often laugh together. This fascinated and intrigued me as it was so foreign to my understanding and I asked George about his parents until I feared he thought me daft. I cannot help but compare my parents with his, or Douglas's parents, or Steven's, or any of the mothers and fathers of the fellows I know here at school._

 _When I first arrived at school and it was nighttime, I was never lonely or scared, young though I was. It struck me as strange that I longed for you but I never longed for my father and in the quiet of the evening in the dormitory I could hear the muffled echoes of your cries and father's angry bellows._

 _Mother, I beg you to stay at the ranch for as long as you can, for as long as they'll have you. I am not yet a man so I am impotent to help but I pray the day comes soon that I may provide a safe and loving home for you. Until that time, I will ask Uncle Nick or my uncles Jarrod and Heath to have you remain in California with them and away from the life I myself was glad to leave. Please, please, write and let me know you forgive me my forwardness. I know it is not a child's place to instruct a parent but I would sleep better knowing you are safe in California. You are forever in my prayers._

 _Your most loving and affectionate son,_

 _Charles, Jr._


	28. Chapter 28

Miss Caroline Barkley felt like a grown up lady standing on the platform at the train station and wearing the fancy travel dress her Aunt Audra helped her pick out. She thought she was behaving like a lady, too, by not making faces at her mother's fussing over her, adjusting her hat, making sure she had a handkerchief, tucking away a stray curl. She's like a mother hen, clucking at her chick, Carrie thought to herself, and repeatedly assured her mother that everything was fine.

Her father stood off to the side, holding her little sister on his hip. He had kissed her on the cheek, told her to behave, and quietly handed her some cash to spend on her adventure in San Francisco. Aunt Sarah had come to the station, too, had said goodbye to her own daughter and stood next to Nick. Carrie noticed that her cousin didn't get fussed over by her mother. Sarah simply embraced Leah, kissed her cheek, and told her to enjoy herself.

Leah did not escape unscathed, however. While she didn't get the same admonishments as Carrie, Emily had fussed with Leah's hat, too, and brushed the dust off her new travel dress before she gave her niece a kiss and a hug.

As the train pulled into the station and its passengers disembarked, Carrie worried for a moment that her mother might be nervous enough to change her mind and not let her leave. But Aunt Audra, cool as a cucumber, lead the girls to the first class car. As she mounted the steps, Carrie turned around to wave to her parents. Her father smiled and waved back, then placed his arm around her mother. Carrie never noticed before how tiny her mother was next to her father. Her mother smiled and waved, too, but Carrie thought her eyes looked shiny, like they had tears in them.

Nick had great fun teasing Emily on the ride back to the ranch for worrying and fussing as much as she did since she'd been the one who fought to send Carrie to San Francisco. Sarah suggested that perhaps someone in the family needed to worry and fuss. But Emily didn't respond to the teasing or to Sarah's statement; she was overcome by a sadness she had never felt before and she pulled Julia tighter into her lap.

"Nick, remember when Carrie was Julia's age?"

"Hmm? Yeah?' He looked over at her.

"It wasn't that long ago, you know," she said, and she kissed the top of the little girl's head, remembering. More than just about anything else, Nick hated it when Emily was sad and he feared that was what was happening now.

"So, Julia," Nick said, "have you given any thought to college?" Julia looked at her father, wondering what he was talking about and so said nothing. "What do you think you want to be when you grow up, Punkin?"

"I'm gonna help you run the ranch, Papa." She said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"That's my girl!" he remarked.

~BBB~

Audra could hear her four nieces in the guestroom from her own guestroom down the hall. She'd been feeling content, peaceful, for the first time in a long time and glad to have such a happy purpose as chaperone to her brothers' daughters. After she'd written her son to assure him she was safe and she loved him very much, a new calm had settled into her heart and soul. As she unpacked her trunks, she listened to the sounds of the city outside. It was nice to get away from the ranch but it was just as nice, she thought, to know she could return any time she wanted to. Nick and Heath and their families had made that very plain to her.

Her gentle thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door and she was surprised to find Jarrod standing there.

"Audra, when you have a moment, I'd like to speak with you privately."

"Of course, Jarrod. We can talk right now if you like."

"Very well, why don't we go to my study?"

Audra followed her brother down the stairs and around the corner into a spacious, wood-paneled study. Jarrod's serious demeanor and his request to talk gave her a sense of foreboding and she could feel herself becoming tense. It was a familiar feeling and she realized she hadn't felt that kind of tension for weeks, not since, well, since she'd left Seattle. And Charles.

Jane followed from the hallway and sat off to the side while Jarrod sat down next to Audra on the settee.

"Honey, have you given any thought to what you want to do? he asked.

"About Charles?" Jarrod nodded his head slightly, his gaze was intense but full of concern, a look she'd seen from him many times before, a look she found comforting. "I suppose I've left him now." It suddenly occurred to her that Charles could sue for divorce on the grounds of abandonment and she looked back at Jarrod, waiting for him to tell her this was why he wanted to talk, that Charles was doing just that.

"Audra, I took the liberty of hiring the Pinkertons to look into Charles." There was a pause. "Are you aware that he keeps a mistress in New York City?"

Audra hung her head. "No. That is, I thought it was a possibility but, no."

"Her name is Marie Gilchrist, and Charles keeps her in an apartment on Fifth Avenue. Has for six years." Six years, she thought, and not long after, Charles, Junior was sent away to school back east.

Audra looked over at Jane whose face held a grim expression.

"In addition," Jarrod continued, "he's been having an affair with a Mrs. Esther Mason in Seattle for a number of years."

Audra's reaction was abrupt and dramatic and she looked at Jarrod. "Esther? Charles and Esther?" Once she had recovered from the shock of this news and the implications it held for her, Audra started to cry. Esther was one of the women Audra had hoped to befriend a few years before but she backed away after Charles said terrible things about her.

"You know this Esther Mason, then?" Jarrod asked.

Audra nodded her head. "I tried to be friends with her but Charles . . . and, oh my goodness . . . Esther?"

Jarrod put his arm around his sobbing sister and let her cry it out. Jane got up, poured a sherry, and offered it to her. After a few sips, Audra composed herself.

"Charles said such awful things about her when I tried to be friends with her and, and, and since then she's not been kind to me. Not kind at all!" Audra thought a moment. "Does Frank know?" Frank was Esther's husband and business associate, sometimes business rival, of Charles'.

"I don't know that, Honey," Jarrod said.

"What we're trying to say, Audra," said Jane, "is, you have strong grounds for divorce."

"But before you make a decision about proceeding with a divorce," Jarrod added, "remember that Charles, Junior is still a minor child and, as such, belongs to Charles." He continued. "The courts are beginning to acknowledge the child's best interest in cases of divorce but it could still be difficult for you to gain custody unless we get the right judge."

"He's fifteen. Can't he appeal to the judge as to who he wants to have custody of him?" Audra asked.

"Again," Jarrod said, "that depends on the judge. A divorce hearing would have to take place in the state in which you reside and I'm afraid I don't know any of the judges in Seattle."

Jane spoke. "Audra, you do not have to make any decisions now but do please consider divorce. No matter who has legal custody, Charles, Junior can remain at school until he reaches his majority at eighteen and then the question of custody is moot.

"If you wish to avoid a major scandal, an option would be to request a quiet divorce from Charles," Jarrod said, "and if he denies you a fair divorce, we let him know that we know all about his dalliances. One more thing," Jarrod looked at his sister, trying to gauge if she could hear one more thing, "nothing is confirmed – yet – but we have reason to believe his business practices are, shall we say, unorthodox."

"In other words, blackmail him," Audra said flatly.

"Yes, I suppose that's what it is," Jarrod answered. "We will do whatever we need to do to get you away from him with the least amount of trauma and the best outcome we can but you have to be want it, too."

Audra's head swirled with the news of a kept mistress and an affair with a social acquaintance. She never thought of herself as a person who would get a divorce, it was so . . . dirty. At the same time, she felt herself getting angry: angry about the betrayal, angry at being torn down and beaten, angry at allowing herself to get torn down, and, most of all, she was angry that her marriage had made her son unhappy.

She stood up, looked at her brother and his wife and said, "I want to divorce him but I want to think about it first."

Jarrod stood and faced her. He lifted her chin with his finger and said, "Audra, everything's going to be all right." Jarrod hugged her and she knew he was telling the truth.


	29. Chapter 29

Emily missed Carrie more than she cared to openly admit and the realization that her children were growing up and finding lives of their own made her wistful. She didn't dare share this with Nick since she was the one who had fought to let them explore their independence. Nick, she knew, would not understand; he would consider it a reversal on her part and a triumph on his.

Will spent more time with his uncle, Heath, and neither of them shared what they talked about. With Nick's reluctant approval, he also got a job one day a week at the public library and he loved that; he loved the responsibility and the independence; and he loved the exposure to all that written knowledge.

Tom, too, resumed his social life a few weeks after Victoria's death with his parents' blessing. There were a number of young ladies in the valley within his social circle though there wasn't a favorite – yet. Nick didn't seem to care what Tom did in town as long as he tended to his responsibilities at the ranch but Emily suspected he was involved in hijinks of a more adult nature than an occasional drink at a saloon. She didn't want to know but she was fairly certain Nick already did.

Daniel, too, seemed to spend more time at Heath and Sarah's helping Grace with whatever project she was working on. This was of little concern to Emily. With Leah in San Francisco, she knew Heath and Sarah appreciated having an extra kid around and, anyway, Daniel always seemed happy to see her when he came home.

Emily even missed Audra, though Audra had been a member of the household for a very short time. She had been an enormous help when the executive committee of the Cattlemen's Association met at the house. Emily knew she could have done it without Audra's help but the anxiety beforehand would have been unpleasant; Audra's help and reassurances had made the preparations almost fun. And Audra's social confidence had taken a lot of the pressure off Emily who always found large social events rather exhausting.

It was true, Emily reasoned, she did love time alone and away from people but all day, everyday, with only a four-year-old to keep her company was too much time alone. So she and Julia started to spend more time at the corral, helping Bertie and Florence with the wash and other chores, and they even rode out to bring lunch to Nick and Heath a few times when they were out riding fences.

In San Francisco, Carrie noticed herself standing back and observing more than participating and recognized this response as the same characteristic of her mother's that annoyed her so much but now she understood. It wasn't unwillingness to do as much as it was an ardent desire to understand. And Carrie wanted to understand everything that was happening around her.

San Francisco was overwhelming to her and there was just so much to take in, so much that was new to her, and she wanted to remember every detail. There were trips to Golden Gate Park, The Conservatory of Flowers, and the newly opened De Young Museum. They went to The California Academy of Sciences, which employed lady scientists, some of whom were friends of the family, and who came for dinner and talked with her and her cousins about their research.

Uncle Jarrod took the whole family on a tour of Chinatown, which seemed a city unto itself compared with Stockton's Chinatown.

There was a day trip on the train down to Palo Alto to visit the campus of the newly opened Stanford University as the guests of Mrs. David Starr Jordan, wife of the university's president. She explained to Carrie and Leah how the Stanfords lost their one son to typhoid fever and built the university in his memory for the children of California. They were insistent the university be coeducational from the start and non-denominational, as well. The afternoon ended with having tea with Mrs. Stanford herself. Carrie knew her father had mixed feelings about the Stanfords. Their politics and charitable efforts had redeemed them to some extent with Nick Barkley but Leland Stanford was, when all was said and done, a railroad "robber baron." Carrie said nothing and observed. She thought Mrs. Stanford was a very nice lady and a forward thinking one at that.

Then there was the visit to San Francisco's Hospital for Children (and nurses training school) where Jane Barkley sat on the board of directors and often helped when her daughters volunteered to entertain the young patients. Some of the nursing students introduced Carrie to those patients who needed the most cheering and not all of them were little children, some of them were her own age, and some of them had babies of their own. This was a world of sadness and deprivation she barely knew existed.

At the end of their visit to the hospital, Aunt Jane brought them to meet the founder and director, Dr. Charlotte Baker Brown. Dr. Brown was a kind but clearly very busy person whose eyes twinkled when she saw Vicky and Ellie. When Aunt Jane explained the purpose of Carrie and Leah coming to San Francisco, Dr. Brown's face softened into a gentle smile and she responded with enthusiasm and encouragement.

Aunt Jane seemed most excited to bring her sister-in-law and nieces to the Folsom Street home of her friend, Ellen Clark Sargent, president of the California Suffrage Association. There they had tea and were welcomed by the women present. Mrs. Phoebe Hearst was unable to attend, as was Jane's good friend, Emma Sutro Merrit, the daughter of the ailing mayor, and herself a physician. But Jane and Jarrod were hosting a dinner party the following evening and Dr. Merrit was expected to come then.

The guests at the Mrs. Sargent's tea asked Carrie about her home, about her hopes and dreams. Many of them were aware of her family's ranch and reputation and some commented on how fortunate she was to have opportunities other young women did not. This made Carrie think back on some the girls she met at the hospital: girls who only had a mother and the mother did menial work; girls whose parents were so poor they shared one room among many family members; and girls who were her own age, even younger, who were on their own without anyone in the world whatsoever.

The next morning, Carrie accompanied her Aunt Jane to a local charity which provided food and clothing to women and children in the neighborhood who would otherwise go without. Carrie stood back and observed the people who were there and listened to the stories they shared and saw the pain in their eyes.

Carrie had seen the edges of poverty back in Stockton but it was usually rural poverty and people made do. Her grandmother had been involved in helping the local orphanage and her mother helped raise money for various causes. She knew such hardship existed but she had never seen it before with her own eyes or heard it first-hand. And there was so much of it.

Her mother had given her a journal so she could keep a record of her trip to San Francisco. She thought she might record the sites she'd visited. Instead, she wrote nothing the first night, or the second. By the third night, she started to write down her impressions and feelings about what she had seen. Soon, she looked forward to writing it all down because the process of writing helped her to understand it better. It helped her understand herself better, too.

Nothing more had been discussed about divorcing Charles. Jarrod didn't want to pressure his sister but he was worried she hadn't asked him any questions about her legal options. The day following the dinner party with Dr. Merrit, as Jane and Audra were preparing to take the girls shopping, Audra approached her brother, and, standing tall and strong, said, "Jarrod, I want to divorce Charles on the grounds of adultery and cruelty."

"You're sure about this?" he said. "You know this will probably bring public scandal and you may not get custody of Charles, Junior."

"The scandal belongs to Charles and I think Charles, Junior is old and smart enough; he will understand."

Jarrod said nothing but looked at his sister and knew the Audra he knew long ago had returned. He smiled.

"Jarrod, I've never been so sure of anything in my life."


	30. Chapter 30

Nick and Heath rode out early one morning. The air was crisp and the ground was misty but the day promised to be warm and sunny.

"How's Sarah?" Nick asked.

Heath gave his brother a quick glance then returned his gaze to the road ahead. "My wife is well, Nick. Thanks for asking."

"No, I mean, how's she doing with Leah being away?"

"Well, we miss her and we hope she's having a really good time and we look forward to having her back home soon." When Nick didn't give an immediate response, he said, "Why do you ask?"

"Em's acting all broody about it."

"Broody? You mean she's wantin' to have another baby?"

Nick sputtered; the thought of another baby had not occurred to him and it threw his thoughts into a spin. He always sounded irritated when he got flustered like that. "No! Well, what I mean is, well, she's been moping, well, kinda, but I know her - and I think it's cause she wants, well, like she's, uh – "

"Lonely?"

Nick stopped his horse, took off his hat and raked his fingers through his hair. Looking down into his hat, he said, "Yeah, maybe that's it" He looked up at Heath who had stopped, too, and said, "Didn't think she'd grieve Mother this much."

"The way I figure it, Nick, she lost more than just Mother. She got Audra and lost her, too, along with a daughter and a couple of sons who are almost men and getting ready to fly the coop. So she's more alone in that house than she's ever been." Nick hadn't thought of it like that, not all of it together anyway. It made sense.

They continued to ride on in silence until Heath said, "So, Nick, you think you're gonna have another kid?" He could barely keep a straight face.

"You mention that one more time and I'm gonna give you the what-for," Nick said, holding up a gloved fist. Heath just smiled and continued riding. Nick, just to be certain, tried to do some calculations in his head regarding the past several weeks. He wasn't able to figure anything out.

That night, after dinner, after Daniel and Julia had gone to bed, and Tom and Will were shooting pool in the billiards room, Nick went into the parlor where Emily was playing Liszt's "Lieberstraum" on the piano. He poured a drink and leaned back on the sofa, stretched out his legs, closed his eyes, and listened to all the sounds of the house.

When she was finished, Emily folded her hands in her lap and sat up ramrod straight. It was a long ingrained habit, enforced by a piano teacher years ago, and Nick liked to tease her about it, though he found it endearing.

"Nick? You okay?"

"Hmm? Yeah. Play something else." He closed his eyes again and listened.

When she finished the second piece, she walked over to the sofa and sat close to him.

"That was nice, what was it?" he asked, still leaning back, eyes still closed.

"Tchaikovsky's 'Lullaby'"

He sat up and looked at her. "Em, please tell me you're not . . ."

"Not what?" She was genuinely puzzled for a moment until she made the connection. "Oh, dear Lord, no!" She laughed. "Why would you think that?"

"You been acting kinda, well, sad, broody."

"Broody?"

"Thought maybe you were thinking of having another."

She leaned her head against his shoulder. "I am sad but I don't think another child is the answer to that." She sat back up and looked him in the eye. "And anyway, Nick Barkley, your participation in such an endeavor is as important after the fact as it is before. I would never intentionally . . . not without your explicit consent on the matter."

That was all the reassurance he needed from her. She could be many things: Thoughtful, hard working, funny, shy, stubborn, clever, pushy, capricious sometimes, underhanded for a good cause, maybe, but never outright deceitful. He smiled at her and caressed her cheek with the back of his hand before she settled her head back against his shoulder.

"I think five is quite enough, thank you," she said.

"Well, six if you count Grace," he said.

"Five and a half, then, 'cause we have to share her with her parents." They sat still and silent a moment, then, "Nick? I really miss her a lot."

"Carrie?" Nick nodded.

"Carrie, too. But Carrie's coming back."

A few days later, Nick had the buggy hitched and ready and the boys were on their horses, Daniel on a pony, waiting, while Nick went inside to find Emily and Julia. They were finally coming down the stairs and ready to leave for the party the Marvins were throwing for their daughter's Sweet Sixteen.

"I was kinda hoping you'd wear something other than black today," Nick said to Emily under his breath as he held the front door open for his wife and small daughter.

Emily kind of wished she was wearing something other than black, too, but this was the custom for mourning a parent as indicated by Cassell's Household Guide.

It made Emily's heart glad to see the great crowd of people gathered on the expanse of the Marvin's lawn, everyone in a celebratory mood. A bright yellow tent was erected to provide extra shade and refreshments and the children were already busy and boisterous with various games, darting about and weaving through the crowd. There was a lovely sound of people talking and children yelling and laughing. Emily took in the sight of people young and old and the variety of colors offered by the tent, the green grass, the blue sky, and the rainbow of the girls' bright dresses. She thought she'd been wise to dress Julia in pink so she could see her should she get lost in the crowd, but Julia's was not the only pink dress. Emily smiled.

Will and Nancy Marvin greeted them warmly. They might have greeted Julia, too, but she had already spotted a group of small children gathered around a shallow pool, small boats and a couple of ducklings floating on it. She tugged at her mother's skirt. Emily smiled apologetically at Nancy and followed her daughter over to the pool. She was glad when Nancy walked with her and made the effort to engage Emily in happy conversation.

Emily spotted Sarah in her black dress among the blues and greens and yellows. Sarah was as uncomfortable with idle chat as Emily and Emily might have crossed over the lawn to join her then but needed to keep close to Julia who was much more like her father at a social gathering of peers: joining the existing banter with ease and letting her opinions be known. Emily needed to referee.

The sisters-in-law were together soon enough and, through an unspoken understanding borne of years of friendship, both women made sure to speak with the people nearby, neither of them straying too far out of their own orbit.

Tom and Will were far away from the center of activity, part of a big crowd of young men and women, laughing and flirting. Grace seemed to be having a good time, too, pitching horseshoes. She wore a pale blue dress that made her white blonde hair appear almost translucent in the afternoon sunshine. Julia had found her way over to her father when she tired of ducks and water and was now listening intently to the men's conversation from her perch on her Uncle Heath's shoulders. Emily could only catch occasional glimpses of Daniel who was chasing around the periphery of the party with a small gang of other young boys.

Nancy Marvin had thoughtfully provided an abundance of large cloth napkins for the barbeque and Julia was draped in two while she ate the chicken and the roasted corn, sitting on a bench next to Grace. Daniel hardly ate and was back and forth from the table with lightning speed. He would return for cake, however.

As the meal wound down, Will Marvin spoke to the gathering, thanked them for coming to celebrate Alice Ann's birthday and spoke lovingly about his pretty daughter. Then he announced her engagement to be married. Emily quickly looked over at Nick who cheered and clapped along with everyone else.

After the meal, Grace brought Julia to a small group of children gathered under some large oaks trees not far from the house. Two of the trees had swings attached to their limbs. They had been gone awhile when Emily heard the unmistakable sound of her own child's scream and walked briskly over to the grove to investigate. There she found Grace sitting on her haunches, trying to reason with a most unreasonable Julia, and holding her around her waist to keep her from charging at the focus of her anger, her arch nemesis: one Joseph Curtis, age five. Grace was shrieking and crying. Joseph was crying, as well, and Minerva Curtis was trying to get him to tell her what happened. The two mothers exchanged looks of exasperation as Emily decided her small child was not in any state to explain anything.

After offering a brief apology to Joseph's mother, Emily took Julia's hand and tried to lead her away but Julia was having none of it and planted her bottom on the grass, crying even louder. "All right, then," Emily said, picked up the squirming child, and carried her over to a table out of Joseph's line of sight and sat down holding Julia on her lap. She held her little one tight and rocked her until she calmed down. Some time later, Nick came over, deciding it was time to leave for home. A quick glance at Julia and Nick looked at Emily who whispered, "Later."

After offering thanks to Will and Nancy for a lovely afternoon, Nick and Emily prepared to leave. Tom and Will were off to town for a dance but instructed first to fetch their little brother. Julia was tired to the point of almost sleep and was being lifted into the buggy when Daniel approached with another young boy Emily had never seen before.

"Momma, this is Tommy. Can he come over next week and see the ranch?"

"Tommy is welcome anytime but we'll need to speak with his mother and father about it," she said.

Tommy was a cute little guy, curly hair and green eyes, freckles on his nose.

"Who are your folks, Tommy?" Nick asked.

Daniel spoke for his friend. "Tommy's mother died and his father isn't here. He just moved here with his aunt and uncle." Tommy dug his toe into the dirt, keeping his head down. He seemed to be blushing.

"Hello!" A couple approached and the man extended his hand to shake Nick's. "I'm Bob Kitchner, this is my wife, Mary. Tommy is our nephew; he lives with us. We're new to the area. Moved up from Merced last month." The two men shook hands and introductions were made.

"So you're Nick Barkley, I've heard a lot about you," Mr. Kitchner said. They were certainly warm and friendly people but Emily saw a quizzical look on Mary's face.

"Tommy is welcome to come to the ranch anytime," Emily said to Mary. "As are you. Do please feel welcome to visit us. Tommy and Daniel seem to have become fast friends."

Plans were made for such a visit while Nick talked with Mr. Kitchner. Mary stepped closer to Emily and explained.

"Tommy is my late sister's son. He lives with his father but spends his summers with our family," Mary nodded toward two older girls who had been with Tom and Will's group. "My sister's husband has a ranch south of Merced and Tommy's too young to ride along with his father and brothers for the cattle drive."

There weren't many cattle ranchers the Barkleys didn't know so Emily asked who Mary's former brother-in-law might be.

"Carl Wheeler."


	31. Chapter 31

It was a very quiet evening at the Barkley ranch. Julia stayed awake long enough to eat a approximately two bites of dinner. Emily tried to keep her awake by playing the piano with the girl on her lap but it was no use; the picnic had left the little girl exhausted and she was put to bed early, likely to wake up extra early the next morning.

With the older boys in town and Carrie away in San Francisco, Nick and Emily had fun playing cards with Daniel and talked like three people talking and not a mother and a father and their child. Daniel felt grown up and included. They talked about the picnic, of course. They talked about Daniel's new friend, Tommy, and that's when Daniel learned that his father knew Tommy's father. Emily said she would speak with Audra before Tommy came over. Why his Aunt Audra would need to be told about Tommy Daniel had no idea and he was too busy winning at gin rummy to care anyway. His mother also said she thought sixteen was too young for a girl to be married. All his father said was, "Seems to me, you got married at eighteen," and smiled at her intensely, his eyes twinkling, and his mother blushed deeply and said nothing more. Daniel didn't understand that, either.

Nick and Emily were tucking Daniel into bed together about the same time Carrie, Leah, Vicky, Ellie, and their Aunt Audra were enjoying intermission at the theatre in San Francisco. Carrie was glad to be going home soon. San Francisco was wonderful and she continued to enjoy every moment of it but she longed for home now. She wrote in her journal that she wondered if she had been changed by her visit.

Nick and Emily were asleep when Tom and Will came home though Emily did wake to the sound of the front door and listened till she was sure she heard two voices, then two sets of footsteps climbing the stair case, before she fell asleep again. She woke up again a few hours later, this time with a start, to find Julia standing by the bed. A drink of water and a little time in the rocking chair and the child was asleep again. Emily put her to bed between herself and Nick.

It was Nick who woke up extra early that morning. And he awoke to find his Julia's small rump against his ribs. He dressed and then he took a moment to watch his wife and daughter sleeping with the first morning light pouring in on them.

Leah was quieter than usual on the train home. Carrie kept looking out the window, trying to reconcile the difference between the sights of the bustling, crowded city with the rolling golden hills and fertile grasslands and orchards of the valley as the train sped towards Stockton. The geographical distance wasn't so great but the cultural difference was vast.

"What's gotten into you anyway, Leah? What are you thinking about?" Carrie asked her cousin.

Leah closed her eyes for a moment and smiled to herself. Then she opened her eyes and, looking directly at Carrie and speaking with absolute resolution, said, "I want to go to college and be a scientist."

"What kind of scientist?" Carrie asked.

"I don't really know yet."

Audra had watched the exchange between her nieces, so different from each other. Carrie was energized by the social activities and moved by the social problems while Leah's most important experiences of the visit were the Academy of Science and the tour of Stanford University.

Tom was there to greet them at the station and brought the surrey to carry them and all of their luggage back to the ranch for a welcome home dinner. Nick and Sarah were the first ones out the door to greet them when they pulled up to the house.

Sarah looked her daughter over after she hugged her tightly. "Well?" she asked, smiling.

"Oh, Momma, I want to go to college!" she replied, and the two of them headed into the house so Heath could hear all about it, too.

Nick didn't let go of Carrie when he helped her down from the carriage. Instead, he spun her around and stood her on the step. "Well. Let's get a look at you," he said. "Let's see if this is really my daughter or if Audra brought someone else back with her." With his hand holding hers, he made her turn around as if in a dance. "Yep, she kinda looks like my daughter," he said to Audra.

The two families ate dinner together that night; it was the first time since Jarrod and his family had left the ranch. Emily took particular pleasure in watching how Leah and Carrie shared telling about the visit, prompted each other's stories, and were generally encouraging to one another. Audra, too, was excited to share tales from the San Francisco adventure and included the girls in every story, making sure to let their parents know how proud she was of her nieces.

Heath and Sarah and their daughters left shortly after dinner, eager to have Leah to themselves again. Carrie had brought small gifts back for her brothers and Julia. In the billiards room, Daniel and Julia were busy with their presents, Tom and Will were full of questions about Carrie's trip, and the adults drifted back to the parlor.

Emily told Audra about Daniel's new friend who was coming over the next day. "He's Carl's youngest boy. I thought you should be aware." She explained how Tommy lives with his aunt and uncle during the summer.

"I appreciate you telling me, Emily. I'm sure he's a very nice boy and I look forward to meeting Mary." Audra frowned slightly, trying to remember. "I thought Carl remarried." Victoria had kept Audra apprised of all the news in valley. She had written when Carl married Kate and whenever she heard news about him. And she wrote when Kate died giving birth to Tommy.

Nick said, "No, never remarried, though I seem to recall there was a courtship with a woman a few years back. Don't think anything came of that, though." Nick handed Audra an after-dinner brandy, which she accepted.

Emily had hoped Audra would have news about her own marriage and was preparing to ask her when Carrie came into the room, hoping to be invited to join the grown ups there. Nick poured her a very small brandy and gestured with the glass to a chair where Carrie sat down and accepted the drink. Emily made a face at Nick who smiled slyly back at her.

"Mother, I wrote in the journal you gave me," said Carrie. "I wrote in it every night." She looked at her mother and then at her father, and then she looked at her aunt. "I know Grandma helped at the orphanage and so did Aunt Audra. I want to do that, too." She continued. "I've never seen such poverty and want and need! And I want to do something, anything, here in Stockton to make it end."

"Uh, Honey," Nick said to his daughter, "you know, you cannot single-handedly end poverty and deprivation."

Carrie again looked at her aunt, who was smiling back at her. She and Audra had already had this talk and had discussed ways in which Carrie might be able to help. "I know that, Papa," she looked at him, "and I want to be called Caroline from now on."

Nick stifled a laugh and Emily sat up a little taller.

"That may take a little practice on our part," Emily said, "but we will do our best to honor that, Caroline. Won't we, Nick?"

Nick ran his hand through his hair. "Sure," he said. "Just don't grow up too fast on us now, though, okay?" Caroline smiled, satisfied with having successfully made this step towards sophistication and adulthood.

"Speaking of growing up, Caroline," Emily said. "Alice Ann Marvin is engaged to marry to Josiah Hendrickson."

"Alice Ann?!" Caroline exclaimed. "I knew they were sweet on each other but engaged?" She paused a moment. "Alice Ann isn't even done with school. Is she at least going to finish school?"

Emily shrugged her shoulders and shook her head.

"Well, I think she's too young to get married," Caroline said with certainty. "I intend to wait until I'm at least twenty-one. A girl should be very sure before she gets married or she could regret it the rest of her life. I've seen what can happen." She spoke with the authority of a fourteen-year-old who thinks she knows.

Silence descended on the room as the adults' thoughts turned to the one marriage among them that had turned out badly. Audra made a very conscious decision to speak up in front of her growing-up niece.

"I would like to invite Charles, Junior to the ranch, if that's all right with you, Nick," she said. "His school term is almost over and if I wait until after I sue for a divorce, Charles may not allow him to be with me."

"Audra, you do whatever you think is best," said Nick. "You and your son are always welcome here. You know that."

"Thank you, Nick,." Audra's eyes got teary with gratitude for the strong support and love she'd received and that never wavered. "Jarrod is contacting a legal firm in Seattle and then we'll start getting the papers in order."

Caroline sat stunned, eyes wide, and staring at her lovely aunt. Audra told her they would talk about it later and looked over at Emily who nodded her solemn approval.

After she put Julia to bed, Emily helped Caroline unpack from her trip while listening to the details of the adventure. Caroline had no trouble making the connection between the sad stories she heard and the women's suffrage movement.

"Momma, why is Aunt Audra divorcing Uncle Charles? Is she so unhappy?"

Emily sat down in the upholstered chair. "Yes. She is that unhappy, Car- Caroline. I will leave it to her to tell you in whatever way she wishes, but from my perspective she has been . . . mistreated for a long time."

"Mother, has Father ever mistreated you?"

Emily stood, walked over to her daughter, and helped her comb her long blond hair. "Never. Your father has never treated me with anything but love and respect. That's why he has difficulty understanding why women's rights are important."

"He's afraid if women vote, we'll take away his whisky, isn't he?" It was a legitimate concern among men in general and the issue had caused a deep rift in the suffrage movement; some women saw suffrage and temperance as two parts of a whole while others believed women's emancipation should be achieved separately and first. They argued, logically enough, that if men thought voting women would abolish alcohol then men would never give women the vote.

"Your father understands the difference between women's suffrage and temperance and supports only the former. As do I."

Caroline said. "Maybe if every man was as honorable as Father, women wouldn't need the vote."

"Hmm, that's an interesting thought, and one worth a discussion, isn't it? Remember, though, you cannot make other people more honorable any more than you can eliminate want and hunger from the world."

"But you can try. We have to try!"

"Yes, we do," Emily said, then thought a moment. "And that's why we need to be able to vote."

When Emily rejoined Nick and Audra in the parlor, Nick told her, "Daniel went to bed and told me to tell you that you don't have to tuck him in because he's not a child anymore."

She smiled. "Is that so? Well, I give up!" She rolled her eyes and threw her arms up for dramatic effect and sat down. "I suppose Julia will be asking to go to a dance tomorrow!" Nick and Audra laughed.

"Yeah, probably Joseph Curtis asked her for a date," Nick said, chuckling.

"I like having all these children around," Audra said. "It keeps things interesting."

"That it does," Nick said, as he handed Emily a glass of brandy. "Audra says Jarrod hired the Pinkertons to investigate Charles."

"Oh?" This was news but it wasn't surprising. God bless Pappy, she thought to herself.

"It seems Charles has been seeing a woman in Seattle," Nick said in a hushed tone.

Emily looked over at Audra whose face looked both sad and angry. And determined.

"And he keeps a women in New York," Audra added.

"Oh, Audra, I am so sorry!" Emily

"Oh, no! Don't be sorry, Emily," Audra said. "That just makes my decision easier and . . . "

"and a divorce easier to obtain," Nick said, completing the sentence. "But first, we have to get Charles, Junior here."


	32. Chapter 32

At breakfast, Tom and Will teased their sister about wanting to be called Caroline. Nick and Emily let the teasing continue for awhile before Emily pointed out that Caroline was the name she was given when she was born. Nick gave his endorsement to the name change by reminding his eldest son about some work he'd promised to do and then called him Tommy. Tom fell silent while his brothers and sisters laughed.

Daniel worked extra fast at his chores, wanting to have everything done before his new friend came over that morning. This Tommy, also nine and also a rancher's son, was not likely to cause the kind of trouble and anxiety his cousin, James, had and Daniel talked about how he was going to show him the mustangs and the creek near the house and take him to the south pasture where there were good climbing trees. This was more information than Daniel usually shared in one breath and his excitement was evident to everyone. Daniel had other friends from school but none of them lived on a ranch like Tommy did.

Mary Kitchner stiffened slightly at the sight of Audra Barkley, she hadn't expected to meet her this day. She knew Audra had broken Carl's heart when she ended their engagement, her sister had told her as much. Beyond that, though, the visit was a pleasant one. Mary offered her condolences and stayed for morning tea.

Tommy Wheeler came dressed as the rancher's son he was, cowboy hat and all, and the boys were off in no time, Nick making sure to pick out a couple of gentle ponies for them to ride. Bertie and Florence had packed the boys some food to take with them so they would not need to come back to the house for lunch unless they wanted to. Emily envied the boys and said as much.

Emily, Caroline, and Julia accompanied Audra to town after Mary left. Most of the food the family ate they grew themselves save for rice and other staples. Emily and the girls went to the dry goods store while Audra walked a few blocks through her old town to send her telegram to Charles, Junior. But when Audra arrived at the telegraph office, there was a telegram from Charles waiting for her. It had arrived that morning.

Dear Wife STOP need u 2 join me NYC STOP expect u soon STOP school ends this week STOP wire back STOP CAL.

CAL for Charles Adam Lorton, she noted. He couldn't even spend the money to pretend and sign the telegram "affcntly" or "yr lvng hsbd." Audra felt light-headed and the telegraph operator offered her a chair, which she accepted. Sitting didn't help much, though. The heaviness returned so completely and with such speed, she felt the walls closing in on her and she found it hard to breathe.

This was not the first time a customer had come close to fainting in the telegraph office and Audra was offered a glass of water, which she declined by shaking her head. She berated herself for being unprepared to hear from Charles. She sat up a little straighter in the chair and glanced out the window, hoping to see Emily so her sister-in-law could talk her through this crisis but Emily was nowhere to be seen.

Audra stared at the wall, as if in a daze. She took a deep breath. First, she thought to herself, I do not need to respond to Charles this minute. That realization comforted her and gave her courage to consider her options: She could simply ignore the telegram. Charles would likely simply send another. Audra rejected that option. It was cowardly and Charles might respond with a demand or simply show up in Stockton and force her back. She could wire him to say she was leaving him. Or, she could wire him a polite missive stating she was needed on the ranch for a few more weeks. That option wasn't an outright lie, she wasn't promising anything, or letting on, and it bought her a little more time to get Charles, Junior to California.

She and Charles often traveled back east to collect their son when the term was over. From there, there was no routine; either the family would travel on to Europe, stay in New York, stay in Chicago, or return to Seattle. Apparently, Charles planned for them to stay in New York. New York: where he kept that woman in an apartment on Fifth Avenue.

Her courage recovered, Audra stood and placed two wires: One to Charles to let him know she needed to remain in California for a few more weeks; and one to her son, asking that he come join her just as soon as he could.

"You look like you've seen a ghost," Emily said when she stopped the surrey in front of the telegraph office.

Audra climbed into the back seat of the carriage and Caroline helped Julia climb back to sit with her aunt. "I got a telegram from Charles telling me to come to New York."

Emily looked back at her and noted, despite the lack of color in her face, Audra's expression was serene.

"I replied that I was needed here for a few more weeks. I hope you don't mind."

"Of course not."

"And I sent a wire to Charles, Junior asking him to come as soon as he could."

Audra looked down at Julia, sitting beside her, who was busy with the doll in her lap. Her cheeks were stained with tears. Emily had been having a time of it with Julia lately: She'd been up in the middle of the night again and this morning, lacking sleep, she'd been so unruly in the dry goods store that Emily had to remove herself and her child, leaving Caroline to finish the shopping, while she tried to soothe the child in the carriage.

Audra had explained the state of her marriage to Caroline on the way into town but stopped short of revealing any of the physical abuse. Caroline listened intently and started to understand how miserable her aunt had been. It occurred to her that perhaps unhappiness was not exclusive to poor people. Audra explained to her that if she simply left Charles, he could sue her for divorce on the grounds of abandonment. Or, as she intended, she could sue him on the grounds of adultery and cruelty. Caroline wondered if yelling and being controlling was sufficient legal grounds for cruelty, but then it crossed her mind that there might be more to it than she was being told.

"And you have to name the other people, uh, women, involved?"

"Yes."

"Why can't you just divorce him and be done with him?

"Because marriage – and divorce – are legal matters," Emily explained, "and, as such, the court, that is, a judge, has the right to deny the divorce and force the parties involved to try and work it out. But if the injured party presents strong enough evidence there was indeed injury, then the court is likelier to grant the divorce."

There it was again, Caroline, the word "injury." She understood this was a legal term, she'd heard her father, brothers, and uncles use it when discussing property laws and water rights, but it still made her wonder about her aunt's marriage and why the adults had been so intent on Audra not returning to her husband.

Audra watched the countryside she knew so well as the carriage made its way back to her childhood home. She looked down at Julia again, remembering when she was that small, riding with her parents on this same road. Julia's temper tantrum had apparently taken a lot out of her for she was leaning against Audra, asleep. Audra repositioned the little one and eased her head onto her lap. She moved her hand to caress the child's cheek with the back of her hand when she noted perspiration on Julia's forehead. Instead of caressing her, Audra felt Julia's face with her hand.

"Emily! She burning up!"

Caroline looked back at her sister while Emily spurred the horses to hurry. They were close to home now anyway.

Nick and the older boys walked into the house at midday still talking to each other. That is, Nick and Tom were talking loudly at each other, Will was trying to keep out of it. They headed for the dining room for lunch and, while there was food, there was only Audra and Carrie. Caroline.

Daniel and Tommy Wheeler were still out on their adventure and Emily was upstairs with a feverish Julia, Audra explained.

Nick paused a moment. He had seen four kids through plenty of illnesses: snot and coughs and ear infections and vomit and diarrhea and they'd survived it all. They'd survived the scary diseases like scarlet fever and measles and chicken pox. They'd all survived the critical first five years. Julia was four. And Emily was missing lunch. He left the table without saying a word and went upstairs to Julia's room.

Emily had moved the rocking chair into Julia's room and was holding her like a baby, had her wrapped in a blanket like a baby, and was rocking and crying silently but uncontrollably, her face streaked with spent tears leaving tracks for new ones that continue to fall. Nick froze and thought his heart had stopped. Then he saw and heard Julia take a breath and he breathed again, too. He squatted down next to the rocking chair and stilled it.

"Hey, what's going on?" he asked. Emily continued to cry and that wasn't like her, not like her at all, and it unnerved him.

"I don't know," she said, and started to rock again. Nick stood and took Julia from Emily. He, too, held her like a baby, kissed her face, and sat at the edge of her bed, still holding her.

"I should have known, Nick! I should have noticed she wasn't herself, that she wasn't sleeping and she's been in such an ill humor. Why didn't I notice?"

"Em," he said, trying to be reassuring. He wasn't sure what to make of Emily's tears and guilt.

"Your mother would have noticed. Your sister is the one who noticed, not me." Emily had crossed the room and was wringing her hands.

"Emily, you're a very good mother, but you're not a wizard, and you got a lot of people to look after. She has a fever, that's all." He stood and put the hot, sleeping child in her bed. Emily came and stood next to him, her tears subsiding but not vanished.

"I just have a bad feeling about this, Nick," Emily said, and started to cry again. Nick had seen his wife cry, really cry, only a handful of times before, and it was always when she was frightened, not sad.

He wrapped her in his arms, stroked the back of her head, and said, "I'll send for Dr. Wold."


	33. Chapter 33

Emily's near hysterical reaction to Julia's fever worried Nick but he wasn't sure who he was worried for more; his sick child or his wife, who usually kept her emotions well in check. He didn't think, on the face of it, that Julia's fever was anything serious but Emily's worry had him worried about the little girl, too. Maybe Emily had seen or felt something only a mother could.

Lunch was over but everyone remained at the table, quiet. Nick told Tom and Will to send for the doctor and both boys left the table immediately. Tom headed out to the stables to ride to town but he was just as eager to get away from his father.

Over time, Tom had assumed more responsibilities in running the ranch and, though this was as Nick wanted it, Nick also expected complete obedience to his decisions and agreement with his opinions and Tom had bucked at that, making his own decisions where the hands and the daily work were concerned and without consulting with his father. Nick had bristled at having those decisions made without his or Heath's consent or consultation. Sometimes, Tom felt his father disagreed with his decisions only because he had made them.

Tom saddled up and rode towards town. Will, however, went directly upstairs to Julia's room. He could hear her raspy breaths from where he stood in the doorway. She was curled up on her side and he noted that she looked much smaller than he thought she actually was. His mother sat still and silent in the rocking chair, her eyes closed. She'd clearly been crying and Will was startled by how red her eyes were when she opened them and looked at him.

"Mother, why don't you go lie down? I'll sit with her." Emily gave no immediate response but she looked worried. Haunted, Will thought. "I'll make sure to wake you if she wakes up or when the doctor arrives.

Emily got up and paused as she passed Will, now standing in the small room. She touched his arm and started to say something but changed her mind and walked next door to her own room. There, she also curled up on her side and cried and prayed till she fell asleep.

She dreamed she was wading into a tranquil lake and the bottom kept plunging deeper and deeper until she stood tiptoe on the lake bottom and water was up to her chest. Any deeper and felt she would lose all control of herself. Just beyond her reach Julia lay in the baby cradle which floated on the lake surface. Every time the cradle came within her grasp, it would drift away, gently rocking with the warm breeze. Emily started to panic and when she did the lake turned into a cold, swift river and it rushed the cradle far out of Emily's reach. She watched helplessly as Julia awoke and sat up, reaching her arms out to Emily and crying for her mother.

In the dream, Emily told herself this was only a dream and she forced herself to wake up but the dream stayed with her. She wasn't sure whether she was truly awake or not until she heard Julia emitting a horrifying combination of crying and coughing at the same time.

She darted into Julia's room to find Nick holding her in his lap, trying to get her to drink some water. There were voices downstairs, one of them Emily recognized as belonging to Dr. Wold. The others belonged to Will and Audra. Emily was about to become angry that she had been left to sleep while the doctor examined Julia but then she heard the footsteps coming up the stairs.

While the doctor confirmed that Julia was very sick and gave instructions to keep her fever down and give her lots of fluids, he also offered confidence that she would be fine. He made a point of telling Emily to rest and not worry but Nick pulled him aside as he was leaving and confided just how worried Emily was. Dr. Wold told Nick that, being as young as she was, Julia's illness could carry her off, but he also reminded Nick that even fragile Daniel had survived early childhood and he trusted Julia had also inherited the strong Barkley constitution. He left Nick with morphine should Emily become over-wrought again. Nick looked at the bottle and scoffed at the idea that he could make Emily take any.

Daniel and Tommy made it home for dinner. Tom did not. Tom had stayed in town out of anger at his father and a need to be away from home for a change. Emily stayed with Julia and barely touched the tray Florence brought for her. But she sang and read stories to Julia even though Julia slept through it all. She refused Audra's and Caroline's offers to sit with Julia.

Will and Daniel took Tommy to his uncle and aunt's home after dinner. The boys had a great time being nine-year-old boys running free around the ranch and Emily would have loved to hear all about it but she was too worried about Julia. Nick was distracted by Emily, Julia, and, now, Tom.

Nick tried to sleep that night but wasn't very successful so he checked on Emily and Julia frequently. Near dawn, he thought to check on Tom but Tom had not been home.

Dr. Wold arrived soon after breakfast and noted Julia was still feverish and, on listening to her lungs, he pronounced bronchitis as her malady. The treatment of fluids, rest, and keeping the fever down remained the same. This seemed to send Emily into a fit of near hysteria again and Nick thought she looked like hell; her dress was rumpled, her face pale and puffy, and her hair was falling out of its pins. Dr. Wold firmly instructed her to get some food and some sleep but she looked at him as if he'd just spoken to her in a foreign language. The doctor shook his head at Nick as they stood on the porch.

Nick was watching the doctor ride off when he saw Lance McClellen, the sheriff's deputy, arrive and feared that, on this morning of all mornings, he was about to receive bad news about Tom.

Still on his mount, Lance rode up to where Nick stood on the porch and said, "I'm afraid I have to tell you, Nick, that we have Tom in jail."

"What? Why?" Nick bellowed.

"Got drunk and in a fight last night. Kinda busted up the place," the deputy said.

Nick fumed.

"He needs bail, Nick, then you can bring him home and do with him as you like."

Nick thanked the deputy dismissively and stormed over the barn to saddle Theo after the lawman rode off, then left to drag his teenage son out of the hoosegow. He didn't tell anyone he was leaving.

He ranted and shouted at Tom all the way home but Tom was in too much pain to pay attention or to care. His shoulder hurt, his ribs hurt, his jaw hurt, his hand hurt, but most of all, his head hurt. He just wanted to lie down and sleep, or vomit, or die, or maybe all three.

Once inside the house, Audra and Caroline tried to fawn over Tom and his injuries, keeping their voices low. Tom dismissed the concerns of his aunt and sister and started toward the stairs when his father grabbed his arm and spun him around.

"Don't you dare let your mother know about this. She has enough to worry about but you and I will be having a chat later," Nick had recovered from his fury but was still angry.

Tom had just started up the stairs when there was a knock at the door.

"What now?" Nick said to no one. Audra and Caroline had removed themselves to the billiards room and Daniel was outside helping Will.

Nick opened the door to find a very well dressed young man on his doorstep, carrying a satchel.

"What d'ya want?" said Nick.

"I'm Charles Lorton. I'm looking for my mother."


	34. Chapter 34

"Audra! AUDRA!" shouted Nick, turning his head towards the billiards room, holding the door open. Turning back to the young man, he gestured to welcome him into the house.

The young man, tall and blond and blue eyed like his mother, put his satchel down on the inside step, and extended his hand to Nick. "You have to be my Uncle Nick," he said, smiling.

Nick shook his hand, not yet recovered from the surprise, but he managed to say, "We weren't expecting you so soon."

"So soon?" Charles asked. But before the words had left his mouth, Audra had entered the foyer and gasped in surprise, happy surprise, covering her mouth with the fingers from both hands. Her son turned toward the sound of her gasp and they were soon embracing.

When they parted from their embrace, Audra took a step back to get a good look at the son she had not seen in many months. He was now as tall as she and his face was beginning to take on the contours of adulthood.

"What – why - you could not have received my telegram," he said, "I wired you yesterday asking to come as soon as you could."

"I finished my exams early and got on the first train I could. I wanted to see you and knew you would have wired if you were going . . . well, going to be anywhere else."

"Does you father know you're here?" she asked, suddenly a little fearful.

He shrugged his shoulders. "Who knows? I've only seen him twice since he arrived in New York." New York City to Charles, Junior's school was a short train ride away.

Caroline had followed Audra into the foyer and was re-introduced to the cousin she'd last seen when they were both small children. Audra ushered Charles into the parlor while Caroline went into the kitchen to get refreshments ready. Nick followed his sister and nephew into the parlor after staying behind a moment.

"Uh, Audra, I'm going to check and see how Em and Julia are doing. Then I think I should go to town and send a wire to Jarrod." He looked at Charles and said, "Your father may not be too happy that you're here."

Charles looked at the carpet for a moment, and then looked up again, "Well, I realize that doing something without his knowledge or permission may displease him but I think my mother needs me." He smiled at Nick and quietly asserted, "And I'm not leaving her. No one can make me." He continued to smile and he was resolute in his statement.

Nick was momentarily taken aback by the young man's boldness but then recognized himself in his nephew's stance. This young man is not a Lorton, he thought, he is a Barkley.

Julia had become a small, hot heap of coughing, mouth-breathing, nose-dripping, flesh. Her breathing was labored and, when she was awake she was so uncomfortable she whimpered, too sick to cry outright. When she was awake, Emily ministered to her, wiping her nose, rubbing her back, cooling her down with wet cloth. When she slept, Emily slept in the bed next to her and this was how Nick found her when he came to tell her Charles, Junior had arrived.

Emily had opened her eyes and Nick was pretty sure she'd heard him but gave little response. As he sat a moment on Julia's bed, he decided he would ride over and let Heath and Sarah know about Julia, and about Charles, Junior. And maybe, he thought, he could bend Heath's ear about his concerns about, well, everything.

He took the path that went directly to Heath and Sarah's house, lost in worry, so was surprised to see Sarah and Leah in a buggy coming his way. When he met up with them, he learned that Daniel had ridden over earlier and told them about Julia and they were coming to help. Charles' arrival, however, was news to them.

Nick found Heath out in back of the house, fixing some fencing with the aid of Daniel and Grace. Heath stopped the moment he heard Nick approach and walked over to him as quickly as he could, and held Theo while Nick dismounted.

"How's Julia?"

"She's pretty damn sick, Heath, and Em's taking it real hard," Nick said. He saw Heath's face relax when he said it, which he found odd at first, and then realized the news Heath might have been expecting instead. "Listen, I come to tell you that Audra's son is here."

"Already?"

Nick stared in the direction of town and told him he was on his way to town to wire Jarrod. The brothers stood silent a moment while Heath studied Nick's face staring into the distance.

"What else is bothering you, Nick? I know you, you know. Spill it."

Nick still stared away but he did answer his brother's concern. "I've never seen Em this worked up about a sick kid before, that's what's bothering me." Heath continued looking at Nick's face, considering why Emily would be so worried. It worried him, too. Then Nick added, "And I had to bail Tom outta jail this morning."

"He shoot someone?" Heath asked, smiling.

Nick snapped his attention back to Heath and said, "That's not funny!"

"Well, what'd he do?" Heath said, trying to be serious again.

"Got drunk and busted up a saloon," Nick said. As soon as the words were spoken, Nick relaxed a little. The brothers smiled slightly, both knowing that they'd each, separately and together, engaged in enough barroom brawls to earn a widespread reputation. Nick, in particular, had been locked up plenty of times and the family had had to pay an untold fortune in damages over the years.

"Well, Nick, I'm not gonna tell you about the apple falling not far from the tree but I don't think you're gonna have much luck if you think a firm lecture from you about upright, moral behavior is going to make an impression on him."

After Nick left for town, Heath, Grace, and Daniel saddled up to ride over to the big house. There was family visiting there and there was family sick there and they needed help. And this is what family does, Heath thought on the ride over. Growing up, he had longed for something that he later understood was a sense of belonging. It was more than a longing, though, it was an aching, a deep aching, and he was grateful to have the intelligence to appreciate that he had that belonging now. The struggle he'd endured as he started to fit himself into this family was now a short and faded memory. Now, on this day, he – Heath – was needed, not to fix fences or gentle a horse or drive cattle, but simply to be there with his family. He was needed by his family.

Sarah and Leah had met Charles but Sarah stayed only a short time before she went upstairs to check on Emily and Julia. Julia was awake in bed, crying and coughing, with her head in Emily's lap. Emily gently moved her child back on the bed in order to stand and greet her friend and sister-in-law. Sarah was startled by Emily's appearance and dispensed with any polite or inquisitive greeting.

"Emily! Go to bed!" It was a command, not a suggestion. Emily just looked at her and Sarah studied the dark, puffy circles under her eyes. Emily wore a dressing gown now, and her hair was plaited into a braid down her back. Sarah had known Emily for many years, knew her well. Sarah had even been present for the birth of every one of Emily's children; she had never seen her look so tired or distressed.

"Emily, now!" Sarah said. She stepped toward her sister-in-law and put her arm around her waist and gently informed her that someone would be with Julia at all times and assured her she would stay throughout the night. Emily gave no protest while Sarah lead her to her own bed, the same bed where she'd given birth to Julia and all the other children before her.

Charles, Junior was the focus of dinner that night. The meal was pleasant though subdued. Tom said nothing, not even to respond to the questions from his siblings and cousins about the cuts and bruises he was now sporting. He picked at his food and Nick ignored him except to roll his eyes at him.

Sarah, Leah, Will, and Nick took turns sitting with Julia through the night. As the sun rose, Nick was just starting to come awake in the rocking chair in Julia's room, legs stretched out in front of him, arms resting on the rocking chair arms. Half asleep, he felt some pressure on one arm and opened his eyes to see Julia standing next to the chair, her hands on his arm. "Papa, Papa! I'm hungry!" Nick felt her forehead, and though he knew he wasn't much of an expert at such things, thought she didn't feel quite so hot anymore. So, he wrapped her in a blanket and carried her downstairs to the kitchen where she ate several slices of bread with butter and jam and some milk he warmed up on the stove. As the food started to fill her stomach, Julia, her nose dripping and her breathing still raspy, started to prattle to Nick who didn't try to follow the story, just looked at her and smiled.

Emily was left to sleep through dinner and didn't wake again till the next morning, feeling warm and woozy, her throat glands swollen and her lungs feeling congested. She felt too sick to care and went back to sleep.


	35. Chapter 35

Twenty four year old Marie Gilchrist sat at the dressing table in yet another fine hotel, studying her reflection as she moved her sore jaw back and forth, making sure it still worked.

She was still quite pretty, she thought; even beautiful. The bruising and swelling would soon fade away entirely. And it didn't really matter anyway what she thought. This older gentleman of means thought she was beautiful, beautiful enough that he risked his reputation to take her in. They had passed each other out on Park Avenue often enough that they had started to exchange greetings, and then pleasantries. He knew what she was the moment he laid eyes on her and it didn't take her long to know she could have him, too.

She'd grown tired of Charles Lorton, Esquire, of Seattle and New York, long before. He had become grouchy and demanding where he was once generous with compliments and gifts. This last visit was too much, though. He seemed quieter than usual at first, said his wife had a family emergency in California. Marie laughed to herself: family emergency in California, indeed. Likely, she broke a fingernail or her fancy hat blew off her fancy head. Marie had asked Charles about his wife only once, years before, and learned she was the spoiled daughter of some ranching family Out West, mealy-mouthed, demure, and fragile.

Marie smiled back at her reflection. Yes, she was still beautiful, appearing for all the world as if she, too, were fragile and demure. But she wasn't fragile or demure at all and she certainly wasn't mealy-mouthed. After Charles had stormed out of the apartment, she had her maid send word to her brothers down in The Bowery and it didn't take long for them to come and see for themselves what their sister's cruel paramour had done.

Charles had been in town for several weeks when he got the telegram from his attorney in Seattle informing him that his wife had filed for divorce on the grounds of cruelty and adultery and that she had named names. It made him feel trapped and exposed and he didn't like feeling trapped and exposed; he liked being the predator, the one with the advantage and in this situation he couldn't find it. He'd had his attorney file papers to retain custody of his son but when he got to the school he learned the boy had left for the term, took the train west, he was told. The only person here he had advantage over was Marie and he took it. He ranted and yelled and threw her across the room. He even hit her across the face. And what was she going to do about it? She didn't have any rich family of cowboys and lawyers to protect her. No, she was from the tenements on lower Manhattan, came from an enormous family who lived like sardines in one cold room. Marie was nothing without him. She needed him.

But like Marie, her brothers were ambitious and, bit by little bit, had built up their own little empire along the docks and shipyards, and, where their power stretched thin, they made allies of other enterprising sons of other immigrants scratching to rise above the stench of The Bowery.

Marie was more frightened than she was physically hurt and this had a powerful impact on her brothers. Three of them had come to the apartment and whatever disapproval they may have had for their sister's lifestyle was far outstripped by their fury at what that fancy rich man had done to her and they swore their vengeance aloud and by action. By the time their associates had been contacted with their orders, however, Charles Lorton, Esquire, of Seattle and New York, was seated comfortably in the first class car as the train began its long journey to California.

Emily had worn herself out over Julia's illness to such a degree that she had caught the illness herself. Rapidly, it manifested into her lungs and declared itself as pneumonia. Nick refused to think Emily might die. To him, that possibility was inconceivable, unacceptable, and he would not tolerate it. He would lay awake at night reassuring himself with her breathing next to him. He even shouted at her a few times, so frantic with a fear he couldn't articulate, that he thought maybe he could make her get well by the sheer force of his will. And even though her head hurt, her lungs felt like someone had poured wet clay into them, and she got dizzy whenever she moved her head, she smiled at him. Dear Nick, she thought, exuberant and demonstrative Nick, whose fear and fury overlap and run into each other. And the collision is always loud. She calmly informed him she had no intention of dying anytime soon and knew, in her heart, that her will was just as strong as his, just quieter.

Thus, Emily and Julia recuperated together, though Julia's recovery was both rapid and delightful. Now it was her turn to fret over Emily. Sarah had gone home to Heath when Emily was able to get up and spend time downstairs. Audra slipped into the role of running the house and was stronger and more industrious than ever with her son at her side. Julia rarely left her mother's side and was, in a practical way, helpful with her solicitous enticements of tea and broth and general non-stop expressions of care and concern. Had Emily's will to survive flagged at any time, she had only to look at her youngest and know she had to see what the years ahead would bring.

For his part, Charles, Junior reveled in every aspect of the ranch. But none of it would have interested him much were it not for the family that worked it and inhabited it. These were the people who loved his mother as she deserved and it was not lost on him that his mother never looked more beautiful..

Tom and Will brought him along when they rode fence. They thought they wouldn't care for him since they had so little in common with him but they were wrong. Charles paid attention and asked good questions. He would never be a rancher but then he openly acknowledged that. He and Will talked about school and professions. Charles was expected to join his father's business when the time came. He liked high finance and corporate management. He just wasn't convinced that he cared to work with his father. He had, however, friends – good friends – from school whose names graced the social registers of every major city Back East. He wasn't worried about his future.

Charles found Caroline and Leah to be a lovely dichotomy of brains and compassion: Leah with her books and Caroline with her growing concern for social justice. Grace remained a mystery to him, however. He'd never met any girl like her before; independent of thought and deed, happiest when doing men's work, and yet so very pretty. Daniel, and even Daniel's friend, Tommy, quickly lost interest in Charles and weren't around much. They were more interested in spending time together and had started building a fort somewhere towards the north pasture but they would never say where exactly. Only Charles knew where it was because he was helping to build it. For Charles, it was as if he suddenly had the brothers and sisters his mother wanted him to have. He thought he hadn't missed having siblings but now he at least knew how much he liked having cousins. But it was Julia who stole Charles' heart and he, hers. He called her Milady Julia and she would follow him like a shadow whenever her mother was sleeping.

One warm afternoon, Emily lay sleeping on the settee in the billiards rooms, while Julia played quietly with her dolls nearby. Audra was in the kitchen, working on dessert for that night's dinner. The men and all the boys were out either with the herd or at the fort while Caroline had gone to town, helping organize a church auction.

It was Florence who answered the knock at the door and the tall man she'd never seen before stepped right in, unbidden, his face tight with anger as he politely asked after Mrs. Audra Lorton.

Audra heard the voice before she heard the words and the blood froze in her veins. She was surprised she didn't feel more fearful as she walked towards the foyer. She wondered why her legs kept moving her in that direction, but there she was, facing Charles, the husband she once loved and now loathed.

"Audra," he said calmly, "where is my son?"

"He's not here, Charles." Audra noted she kept her distance. Florence knew enough that she hovered nearby and pretended to be busy with housework.

"I want my son and then I shall leave you in peace," he said.

"I told you, Charles, he's not here." It wasn't a lie; Charles, Junior was out working on the fort for the day.

Charles removed his hat and placed it on the table as he walked towards the parlor. Audra took a few steps back to keep her distance from him. Florence busied herself with dusting but kept her eyes on the man.

"Well, that's fine," he said, "I'll just wait here until he shows up or you tell me where I can find him."

As Charles started to sit, the sound of a rifle being cocked nearby stopped him in mid-squat. He straightened back up and turned in the direction of the sound. Emily stood in the entrance to the hall that lead to the library and the billiards room. Pale, petite Emily had a rifle poised and aimed at Charles.

"Get out of my house," she said with chilling and determined calm. She stared at him, unwavering in her focus, her expression matching the determination in her voice.

"Why, Emily! Of course! You're Nick's wife! My, it's been a long . . ."

"I mean it. Get out of my house." She gestured briefly toward the door with the rifle.

Charles had started walking towards Emily. While she certainly wasn't about to put the rifle down and have some happy reunion with him, she also wasn't sure she could actually shoot him but he didn't know that. Then again, maybe she could.

Charles had reached the midpoint between where Emily stood and where he had been. He was reaching his arms out in a caring gesture but also as if he intended to grab the rifle. Emily clutched the rifle and repositioned it slightly so it sat at a dead aim on Charles. He looked in her eyes at this closer distance, picked up his hat, and walked slowly towards the door. Emily took a few steps towards him, still aiming the rifle at him, and watched as he opened the front door and left the house. She followed till she stood in the doorway, still aiming the rifle at him, as he mounted his horse.

As he rode away, she fired a warning shot in his direction, and hoped to God she missed him, and maybe sent a signal shot to her men and the hands.


	36. Chapter 36

That Emily had chased Charles off the Barkley Ranch, even firing a shot off at him, made for good family entertainment. No one, however, was able to chase him out of Stockton and that's where he stayed for the next few weeks, sequestered in his hotel room, making near daily visits to the telegraph office, keeping his Seattle lawyers busy.

A Seattle judge threw out Charles' request for custody of his son but not before Stockton's sheriff came to the ranch several times to ask for the boy. Always, he was told that Charles, Junior was not there; he didn't believe it for a minute but he was not about to get embroiled in a family matter and certainly not with this family with whom he happened to be good friends. There was a flurry of legal wrangling between Charles and Audra's respective attorneys in Seattle, Jarrod in San Francisco, and always, reports on the same coming to Stockton.

No one in the family actually came out and lied about the whereabouts of Charles, Junior. They simply stated he was not at the house and, if he was on the ranch, they had no idea where. It was true; he was no longer staying at the house. Instead, he stayed with Heath and Sarah at their house or at a line shack. Sometimes, he stayed at the fort, Daniel and Tommy Wheeler keeping careful watch at all times and having the best time doing so.

In the meantime, a ranch hand was positioned near the road to town should Charles decide to return to the ranch and cause trouble. Nick stayed close to the house for the same reason, his sentry duty occasionally relieved by Heath or one of the older boys. It was one day that Tom stayed home, armed and ready, that Emily, still tired but recovering, noted the faded bruising on his eye and he made a full confession to her, telling her how his father had bailed him out of jail. He saw his mother grasp the arms of the chair so hard her knuckles turned white and she pressed her lips together, thinking. He waited.

"And what did your father have to say about it?" she asked.

"He hollered at me all the way home from jail and then he didn't speak to me for days after that." Tom looked over at his mother, feeling bad that she had to deal with his nonsense when she was trying to get well after being so sick. "I have to pay him back the money he paid for the fine and the damages. I'm sorry, Mother."

Emily closed her eyes, thinking. "Your father's life is in this ranch; his blood, his sweat, his love and he'll never give it up easily." She opened her eyes and looked at her first born. "And you are very much your father's son. I know you're eager to take charge and, one day, you will be fully in charge. Until then, you need to find a way to work with him without butting heads so much. Let him lead and give yourself a day or so to decide if and how you want to follow. And give him time to reconsider his decisions." She smiled. "It's always worked for me."

"But he's so stubborn!" Tom was pacing.

"Yes. And so are you. You cannot change him; you can only change the way you respond to him. Going to town and getting in a fight because you're frustrated with your father is only going to get you jail time and more fines." Tom promised his mother he would try to rein in his temper where his father was concerned; he already knew he would need to be the one to change, to soften. He just resented it.

Emily also talked with Nick about Tom, encouraging him to give their first born more autonomy. Nick listened and objected and resisted but a few days later did just what Emily had suggested, though he wouldn't tell her that. Nick's primary concern was Emily and he was relieved beyond measure to see her well again. Late one night, as they lay together, he told her how frightened he had been at the thought of losing her.

"No one lives forever, Nick, and we've been very blessed with our children." She hesitated a moment, remembering the one baby she did lose. "When Julia was so very sick, I realized that if I lost any of my children, I couldn't go on. I just couldn't." She paused again. "When I die, I want to die like this," she snuggled in a little closer, "my children safe and well, myself asleep and in your arms."

"Like hell you'll die like that," he said, shaking his head. "I'm going first. I'm older and I'm not living without you." He sat up a little, looking at her, smiling, "and, God knows, you can take care of yourself against any dangers."

A date was set for the court in Seattle to hear Audra's petition for divorce. Jarrod would be accompanying her and preliminary travel arrangements were made. Emily gave a deposition attesting to the bruises she had seen.

Charles returned to his fine home on Seattle's Capital Hill but discovered his local business dealings had fallen off by a not insignificant amount. Whatever the outcome of the divorce hearing, he was now publically named a philanderer and a wife beater. Where some people in Seattle's upper society might be willing to look past the former, they could not ignore the latter and together the two misdeeds made him a social pariah and a poor business risk.

There were few in Seattle's elite society who weren't at least acquainted with Charles Lorton's wandering eye but the city was too young and too eager to prove itself to allow names to be named. The society ladies were scandalized and Esther Nelson, the "other woman"named, soon found her social calendar bereft of activity. Instead, she had to remain at home with her husband who had been publicly cuckolded. But it did not last; he moved out, filed for divorce, and severed all financial ties with Charles Lorton. The biggest gossip surrounding the upcoming Lorton divorce pertained to the allegations of cruelty and the local newspapers vied with each other for whatever details they could uncover. One lucky reporter used just the right bribes on just the right people to get a look at Mrs. Nicholas Barkley's deposition. In the court of public opinion, the case was settled by overwhelming vote in favor of the wronged wife.

Audra remained unaware of anything that was happening with Seattle's social set. The reverberations of her allegations had no effect on her friendships, for she had none, only acquaintances. Charles had seen to that.

Summer wore on and it was an unusually hot summer on the West Coast. Emily continued to regain her strength and energy while Julia still liked to talk about the time she saw her momma point a gun at a bad man. Nick would smile proudly and Audra said she swore when she saw Emily standing there with the rifle she thought it was her mother for a fleeting moment.

Charles, Junior had returned to the house and the debate still raged as to whether or not he should accompany his mother and uncle to Seattle. Audra never wavered from her position of divorcing Charles but as the date grew nearer and the train tickets were purchased, she became anxious and nervous.

Two days before Jarrod was to arrive in Stockton and three days before he and Audra were to leave together for Seattle, a telegram, marked "urgent," was delivered to the house. Charles A. Lorton, Senior, was dead.


	37. Chapter 37

Despite the Arctic wind that blew off the Puget Sound in the winter - a strong, cold wind which chilled Seattle's denizens to their very bones, the city could prove to be uncommonly hot for a few short weeks in the summer.

It was during a late summer heat wave that people passing below the open windows of Charles Lorton's offices, not far from the waterfront, noted the unmistakable stench of death. It had mingled with the normal aromas of rotting fish and stale beer and body odor till it rose above it all and announced itself with pungent urgency.

Charles had been dead for days judging from the deep pools of blood that had congealed all the way through. He had been beaten about the head, likely with a blunt weapon in addition to the obvious marks left by brass knuckles. The office itself had been ransacked beyond reason and it was hard to tell what, if anything, had been stolen.

Occupants of neighboring offices were questioned but could offer no insight. Francis Nelson, cuckolded by Charles Lorton, was also questioned in the hotel suite he was currently calling home. He denied any involvement and, though he seemed genuinely shocked by the news of Charles Lorton's murder, he did not seem genuinely saddened by it.

The police concluded this was either a robbery gone wrong or, more likely, a murder-for-hire and so they kept themselves and their informants on the watch for any unsavory types who might have come into some money. They uncovered nothing.

A couple hundred miles south of Seattle, in Portland, also known as Stumptown, River City, three longshoremen, new to town from New York by way of Seattle, drank and gambled their way through every waterfront saloon the city had to offer and there were plenty. No one paid them much mind; fortunes were gained and lost every day in the growing port town. The three soon left town for parts unknown without making much of an impression on anyone.

Audra was stunned by the news of Charles's murder. She was also saddened. No matter what their marriage had become, no matter how unbearable he had become, she had once loved him and had pinned all her hopes on a life with him. To varying degrees, the family around her understood her grief. All except perhaps Nick who openly expressed relief that Audra's ordeal was over forever and was instead inclined to celebrate.

Charles, Junior stayed uncommonly silent on the subject of his father's murder. He, too, was stunned and grappled with the grief he felt. Mainly, he was aware of his responsibility as the man of the family, his obligations to his father's business and his need to take care of his mother. Legally, she remained his guardian and it was Audra who had sole access to Charles's finances. Yet Charles, Junior knew his father's death would give him heavy responsibilities when he turned eighteen and he took that responsibility seriously.

And so it was that Jarrod accompanied Audra, and Audra's son, to Seattle for business of a very different nature than any of them had originally planned. They traveled to Seattle to bury Charles, close the house, and meet with the lawyers and bankers who helped Charles manage his business interests.

Not able to bear stepping into the mansion again, Audra took up residence at the hotel where Jarrod and her son joined her in rooms not far from Francis Nelson's rooms. Condolences, insincere and solicitous, poured in from the ladies of Seattle's upper crust and Audra read them with a wry smile. She knew these were overtures of apologies and she was struck by the irony that, now with Charles dead, she would be free to make friends with whomever she wished. She also knew she had no desire to stay in Seattle and so none of the cards or letters of condolence were answered.

The funeral was private, the house was put up for sale, and arrangements made to transfer all accounts to Wells Fargo in San Francisco. Whatever untoward transactions Charles had been party to were now moot and the money and holdings he had at the time of his death were legitimate - and sizable. Charles had left Audra a wealthy widow and she had every intention of seeing that her money was put to good use.

For his part, Jarrod was moved and impressed by the woman his baby sister had grown up to be. He and Audra and Charles, Junior stayed up late talking most every night. They talked about the past and they talked about the future. Charles would return to school in the fall; that's where his friends were and it was what he knew and was comfortable with. As for his own future, he stated that, henceforth, he wished to be known and addressed by his middle name of Adam. He would be known, he decided, as C. Adam Lorton.

Traveling by train back to Stockton and the ranch, Audra was struck by the difference between this journey out of Seattle and the one she'd taken not so very long ago. On this journey, she was neither frightened nor anxious. Yet, the same happy calm came over her as the train rolled in to the northern reaches of California's big valley with its golden hills and Spanish oaks. Her valley.


	38. Chapter 38

EPILOGUE

Spring 1983.

Barkley Ranch.

The reporter and her photographer had sat most of the afternoon on the covered porch of the small house set away - ten minutes by car - from the main structures of the ranching operations: the main house, the stables, the offices, the barns which housed the heavy machinery. It was the house their hostess has grown up in though it had been through several permutations and improvements since that time.

Grace Barkley Morrelli had come out to the car to greet them and they were immediately taken by her charm. To meet the news people coming to interview her for her one hundredth birthday, Grace had worn her best jeans, work boots, a white embroidered Mexican smock top and a wide brimmed straw hat from which a white braid fell all the way to her waist. She showed them her house, the photos, memorabilia, but it was her affinity for the hummingbirds that swarmed beneath the shade trees, feeding on the multitude of red feeders, that charmed her guests the most. The woman was sharp as a tack, full of good humor, interest and vitality. They were a good half hour into their visit before they noticed her limp.

The tape recorder sat on the table amid the lemonade glasses and plate of shortbread cookies as the young reporter questioned the centenarian about her memories of her pioneering family. Yes, she remembered her grandmother well, she said, and went on to recount her personal memories of the fabled Victoria Barkley as well as the stories told to her later on. And she knew the difference. Mentally sharp with a quick intelligence and integrity, as well, thought the reporter.

She and Nick's son, Tom, had started to run the ranch together when Nick and her father were no longer physically able to be present every day. Later, she and Tom had made a very conscious and deliberate decision during The Great Depression to take in as many Dust Bowl refugees as the ranch could bear. It was, they felt, their contribution to the family legacy and she was very proud of that. She talked in technical terms of how maintaining the diversity of the Barkley's interests allowed the business to thrive throughout the changing times. All well and good, thought the reporter, and likely very interesting to the local agricultural businesses but she wanted a human-interest story.

"Miss Grace, if we can go back to the story of your aunt Audra. Did they ever catch the person who murdered Charles Lorton?"

"No," Grace said, "never did figure out who did it and, frankly, no one really cared. The bastard was dead and that was all that mattered." She leaned forward in her chair. "Are you familiar with Wheeler Ranch south of here? Did you know we're connected to them?"

"Well, uh, you alluded to it. Audra was engaged at one time to Tommy's father."

"That's right and he was widowed. They never did marry though. Didn't see any need to. Audra had a house on the ranch here and a place in San Francisco but she spent a lot of time on the Wheeler Ranch," Grace leaned back in her wicker chair, winked at the reporter, and her blue eyes sparkled with pleasure. "And just to seal the deal, Julia married Tom Wheeler."

"I didn't know that!"

"Oh, all the Barkley girls were pretty but Julia was the prettiest and I thought Uncle Nick was gonna bust wide open, he was so proud when he walked her down the aisle."

"And Caroline?"

"Caroline married a lawyer, politician. They lived in Santa Clara and raised four kids. Very involved in matters of civic importance."

"Jarrod's children?"

"Vicky was a teacher in San Francisco and later moved to Australia with her husband and kids. Ellie was a doctor, a surgeon, in San Francisco. I think her grandchildren are coming to my party so you can meet them."

"And what about that naughty James?"

Grace laughed. "Oh, he turned out all right. Kinda a serious fellow, though. He became a lawyer, like Uncle Jarrod."

"And your sister, Leah?"

Grace closed her eyes and smiled to herself. When she opened her eyes, there was a tear but she was still smiling. "My sister Leah, in case you don't already know it, and I know you did your research before coming here, became a world famous biologist, involved in discovering many of the things you learned about in your high school. She taught at The Sorbonne in Paris. Knew Marie Curie."

"What about you, Grace?" asked the Phil the Photographer. "You obviously got married."

"Oh, yeah," Grace laughed, "I married old Chuck Morelli from a local family. He was my best friend. Died twenty years ago and I still miss him."

"No children, though . . . ?"

"No," she said, "never had any kids. Never really needed any. No shortage of kids around here, ever," and she laughed.

"And Will?"

"Will managed to break away from the ranch and it took Uncle Nick years to find peace with that but he did. Aunt Em fought him hard on that, I can tell you that. He taught law at Stanford. Very distinguished career. Lovely wife, kids. Uncle Nick was proud of him but a little too proud in himself to brag about him too much."

"And what of Adam Lorton?"

Grace narrowed her eyes, teasing. "Oh, you! You know very well!"

"Tell it to the readers who might not."

"Audra's son parlayed his father's fortune into an even bigger fortune. Fortune 500 and all, up there with the Rockefellers and the Vanderbilts. He remained devoted to his mother and used his money and influence to work for women's rights. Adam probably visited this ranch more than any other Barkley grandchild. He wasn't one for working the ranch but he loved it all the same and that was clear as day. It was always a holiday when he came to visit, first by himself and later with his wife and kids. And he made sure to teach them to love this ranch and this family. The Lortons are Barkleys are far as the Barkleys are concerned"

"Lorton Enterprises continues to support women's causes. The local women's clinic is named for Audra B. Lorton. the first . . . . "

"The first woman to cast a vote in Stockton after the 19th Amendment was passed," Grace said, finishing the sentence.

The sound of horses and a wagon was heard growing closer and Grace looked out at the road and stood up, hands on her hips, and laughed. "Well, I don't believe it!" The wagon, carrying a small group of teenagers, was festooned with helium balloons of different colors. Grace stepped off the porch to greet the wagon, the reporter and photographer behind her.

The driver set the brake and jumped down. "Aunt Grace! We've come to bring you to your party in style!" The young man was about twenty, long hair in a ponytail, cowboy hat.

Grace turned to her guests and explained that these were some of Tom and Jack's grandchildren.

The young man shook hands with the reporter and the photographer and introduced himself as Jesse Barkley, then added, "I am great-great-great grandson to the first Tom Barkley, great-grandson to the second Tom, Nick's son, and grandson to the third. You know, just to be clear about things."

The other kids were filing into the house and helping themselves to lemonade and cokes from the refrigerator, each offering a kiss to Grace first.

Grace smiled and said, "Hard to keep 'em all straight sometimes but they're all mine. All family."

"Grace is great for family stories and you can believe everything she says," offered a petite brunette in faded jeans and a Grateful Dead T-shirt named Pilar.

The reporter turned to Grace and said, "I didn't ask you about Daniel. What happened to Daniel?"

Grace looked down at the tile floor and the kids got quiet, waiting for the story they'd heard before.

"Daniel was working for the Army Corps of Engineers in Washington, D.C. right after the Great, er, World War One, when word came that he had died in the Influenza Epidemic. Aunt Em always knew when her kids were sick 'cause she'd get sick at the same time. So, she was also sick with the Influenza. Uncle Nick didn't tell her Daniel had died. He waited until she was fully recovered and then he told her. The next morning, he woke up to find her cold and dead in his arms. She had died in her sleep next to him just as she told him she wanted."

"My ma and pa, they moved right into the big house. We were all very worried about Uncle Nick. My pa never left his side, he was afraid Nick'd go off and shoot himself in the head or something. He didn't but he was never the same and he died of a broken heart about a year later."

The room remained silent for a moment before Pilar said, "Come on! Grandpa Tom's got the barbeque going and people are arriving already!"

"Let me grab a shawl," Grace said, "and I've invited these folks to come, too."

"The more the merrier," said Jesse, and he talked the reporter and the photographer into riding in the wagon. "Someone will take you back to your car, no worries."

Tom Barkley, along with his brother, Jack, was in charge of the barbeque as they were in charge of the ranch. Both of them tall men, both in good shape for men of seventy years, and both of them sporting cowboy hats and cowboy boots and the relaxed demeanor of people who know they are exactly where they want to be.

Tom's wife, Rosa, and Jack's wife, Linda, had prepared a feast for the dozens of guests who came to celebrate Grace Barkley Morelli's 100th birthday. There were games and dancing and a Mariachi band.

The reporter put her tape recorder away but wrote down notes as they occurred to her. She met Ellie's grandchildren, who had driven in from the Bay Area, and she met the descendants of Adam Lorton, some of whom came all the way from New York City. Julia's son, David Wheeler, was there. Her son, Jeffrey, had died the year before, and Michael was killed in World War II. The reporter felt drawn to David and kept remembering the stories Grace told about the lively little girl this old man's mother had once been. She felt she could sense the spirit of the mother in the son; he told great jokes.

But her favorite person of the evening, aside from the inimitable Grace, was Tom, the current patriarch of the family, of the ranch. He was affable and effusive though one sensed you didn't want to get on his bad side. He showed her the inside of the big white house, the house where he'd grown up, where his father had grown up, and his father before him. It felt warm and safe in the house, but the reporter sensed something more.

"Do you ever think this house, as old as it is, and as much life as it's seen, is haunted?" she asked.

"Haunted? No, not in the eerie sense of the word," he looked at her with squinting hazel eyes, "but I do sometimes feel as if someone's watching over me."

As he walked her over to where Phil the Photographer waited by a Barkley truck to take them back to their car at Grace's home, he stopped a few young men and suggested they start wrapping up the party. "We have an early day tomorrow and don't forget this is a working ranch!"

The reporter turned to him and asked if Grace wasn't going to need a ride back to her house, too.

He smiled. "No. Grace will stay here tonight. Grace has – and has always had – a room of her own here."

The reporter searched the dwindling crowd for Grace and waved good-bye when she caught the woman's eye. Grace waved back, smiling, and then returned to showing a group of young children how to throw a lasso.


End file.
